broken souls, seal the deal (zoe/harper)

You’re doing the right thing, running away. You won’t have to see them again; you won’t have to see the way they look at those farm animals. It’ll be just me and you now, just like the good old times. Me and you… me… and… you… The rain around me cannot block out his voice, nothing can He was back, so soon too. Back to haunting my head space, back to taunting me, back to make my life a little more like a living nightmare. I thought I would be able to escape him too, if I let… but I guess I had been wrong, because he didn’t seem to be going anywhere, that’s for sure. I could feel a sigh climb into my lips as his words spin around and around though my empty mind. I wanted to hear nothing, I wanted my mind to be silent, I wanted my mind to give me a break… but of course it wouldn’t. I wasn’t that lucky.

Shaking my head I power on, my feet slapping the ground nosily as I tried to escape, escape everything, my family, my thoughts, my life. I wanted to start new, to start all over again, I wanted to become someone different- not that person who people wanted to avid because he was snappy and almost impossible to talk to. I wanted to be that boy who was cheery, that boy with the easy grin. The boy I used to be. Ha, the boy I used to be. He seems too far away, like a page written in an old history book, a page that I knew I would never return to, not how I really wanted too.

Hugging my jacket closer to myself I slow down my pace, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I tried to catch my breath. My legs burned, as well as my chest, my lungs begging me for more oxygen, more oxygen to sooth their never dying thirst. Come on now mate, you have to breathe, you have to let that oxygen fill your lungs, otherwise you are no better than your whinny pissy father The voice taunted me, filling my ears. “No.No I am nothing like that man,” I manage to squeeze out between gasps. “I am nothing like that monster. I am my own person!” My voice grew, as I yelled at myself. No, you are wrong. You are just like him. You are his picture perfect image- see, now you are even considering running back to them, running back to them and begging for them to take you back. You are just like him. You are weak, nothing but a scrap of raw meat. I pause, my feet had been ready to run back home, but why? Why would I run back to the place that I had just left. No. That voice was wrong. I was nothing like him. “JUST SHUT UP! OKAY. SHUT. UP. I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT PIECE OF DIRT!”

I clasp my hands over my ears, begging for him to go away, begging for the voice to leave me alone, begging to have my own head space back again. Please, please just leave me alone, please please just leave me alone… please… please…

Then there was silence. I was on my own again. I had my head to myself. That voice, that taunting voice had gone, left me. But for how long? How long would I be by myself? How long would I be able to control my own thoughts? Don’t worry about it. Not now, just leave it be. Be happy that your thoughts are your own again. Smile Toby, let that easy grin slip onto your lips once- Suddenly my hand was not by my side, but in the tight grasp of another person- of a girl to be exact. "Slow down!" A voice laced with laughter ills my ears, and I turn my face to look at the rain soaked girl who held my hand tightly. A smile split her face, and she shoulders shook with laughter. It was an odd sight, a very odd sight to be precise. "You'll slip and fall," She finished. The rain made her cloths cling to her body, and made her long lock of hair lay limply around her face. But oddly enough I found myself smiling at her bright face, her face that seemed to be filled with happiness, with a type of energy that I could only wish to find hidden deep within me.

"Don't run away from the rain, if that's what you're doing." Her words sent my face curling into a frown. What did she mean- was I running away from the rain? I was in the rain, wasn’t I? Didn’t that mean I was running towards it? I just didn’t get it, but before I had the chance to ask she reaches up, tugging my jackets hood from my face. Instantly my hair is saturated my the down our of rain. But I don’t feel annoyance rise through my like a wild fire. Usually if something like this would happen, I would scream and shout and make a huge mess of it. But I didn’t want to scream or shout. I didn’t want to run around, angry or push the girl away. There was something about her, something in the way that she looked up at me that had me caught. I wanted to have that same look, I wanted to have that same bounce of life within me.

"It's actually quite lovely, if you give it a chance." It takes me a moment to realise what she is talking about. The rain, she is talking about the rain. Ripping my gaze away from the saturated girl I tip my head back, rain drops pelt my face, stinging my eyes, but I don’t move, I let the drops of water fall against my face, and one by one I let them run down my body, I let them soak into my skin. It was nice, the rain, that is. Finally I let my face fall back down so that my eyes meet the girls. “It is nice,” I say with a smile, after a few moments a frown takes it place, “Umm, I don’t meant to intrude, but where are your shoes? Your feet must be freezing!”