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 Author | Topic: Mylee District 12 (Read 1,766 times) |
Mylee
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 |  | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #1 on Nov 23, 2011, 11:14pm » | |
Hi Mylee!
If you could please adjust Mylle Slawski's app to be the minimum length of all three sections and write in full sentences, I'll be happy to look at this again!
The minimum amount of paragraphs needed for each section are:
- appearance section requires two paragraphs (5 sentence per paragraph)
- personality and history sections require three paragraphs each (3 sentences per paragraph) Good luck! I know you can do it! Try to elaborate more on Mylee's traits and I'm sure you'll get there :]
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #2 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:10pm » | |
There you go!
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![[image]](http://i48.tinypic.com/140brl4.png "[image]") ~{Skip Ronan~District 4}~![[image]](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8fgj47yU91qapyo9.png "[image]") ![[image]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7tjoyzWRn1rxmlzzo1_500.gif "[image]") ![[image]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m634qp00u41rwus05o8_500.gif "[image]") |
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 378
Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #3 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:18pm » | |
Name: Mylee Slawski
Age: 13
Gender: Female
District/Area: |District 12|
Appearance: Dirty Blond Hair with Blue Eyes. Medium Height with strong legs and arms. Hair is long and straight. Skin is somewhat tanned. Skin is dirty. Nails are short. Legs are rough and cut up. Scar on her left leg. Scar is in the shape of a slash and goes from knee to ankle. Hair is tangled and matted in many places.
Personality: Is quiet and calm. Likes to sit outside and listen to nature. Is pretty good with a knife. Can climb really well. Likes to hang out at the market. Loves animals and gardening. Is sweet but can be violent if provoked. Has a love for a lot of people, but hatred for a few.Always wants to make people happy.
History: Lives with her mom, dad, and three sisters and two brothers. Lives in a small shack. Her mom and dad don't work. Sisters do housework. Everything is very conserved. Mylee wants to live in the woods and run away, but her parents won't allow it. When her dad can pick up work though, he does do handyman jobs. Her mom occasionally watches the little kids in the district. Brothers want to hunt, so they sneak off.
Codeword:
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #4 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:20pm » | |
Finally got picture up!
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~{Skip Ronan~District 4}~ |
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #5 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:31pm » | |
Unfortunately, you did not listen to my directions. Therefore, I can't accept her.
Mylee's bio is not written in full sentences, nor is Mylee's bio the minimum length. Please revise this so I can look at it and not have to reject it off the bat xP
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
Gender: Female
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Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #6 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:39pm » | |
I thought it was down to minimum length?
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~{Skip Ronan~District 4}~ |
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #7 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:43pm » | |
It's not full sentences though. If you make it full sentences I'll be able to judge it appropriately rather than just looking at a list.
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Mylee
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Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #8 on Nov 25, 2011, 3:51pm » | |
Name: Mylee Slawski
Age: 14
Gender: Female
District/Area: |District 12|
Appearance: Mylee has dirty blond hair with blue eyes. She is a medium height with strong legs and arms. Her hair is long and straight.Her rough skin is somewhat tanned and dirty. Her nails are short and jagged. Her strong legs are rough and cut up. She has a scar on her left leg that goes from her knee to her ankle and is in the shape of a slash. Her hair is tangled and matted in many places. Her clothes are tore and ratted. She wears her hair in a ponytail tied together with a ribbon.
Personality: Mylee is quiet and calm. She likes to sit outside and listen to nature. She likes to throw her knife at the trees when she gets angry.. She can climb really well, but only does it when she wants time alone as she is pretty independent. She likes to hang out at the market when she's feeling social.. Her love of animals and gardening inspires the children. She is sweet but can be violent if provoked.She loves a lot of people, but has hatred for a few.
She always wants to make people happy.
When she is alone, she likes to sit in the trees and listen to the birds. She likes to stay home with her sisters and tell them fairy tales. Her brothers on the other hand, like to listen to made up war stories she can creatively imagine. In ratio to her positive traits, she has a somewhat negative look on life because of the hunger games because she is always scared she will get reaped.
History: Mylee lives with her mom, dad, three sisters, and two brothers. The family lives in a small shack. Her mom and dad don't work. Her sisters do housework. Almost everything is conserved with the family. Mylee wants to live in the woods and run away, but her parents won't allow it.
Her dad can pick up work occasionally though, he does do handyman jobs. Her mom watches the little kids in the district. Her life is hard and in no way easy. She does what she can to support her family. She has slipped around being picked in the hunger games despite her extra entries.
Mylee has made it a point in her life to make it herself. She is just not very willing to trust anyone after her best friend accused her of theft. What happened exactly was that she and a friend had a fight and she accused Mylee of theft, thankfully Mylee was found innocent and let go. Since then Mylee has never been quite as trusting.
Codeword: oDair
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #9 on Nov 25, 2011, 4:01pm » | |
Okay, thank you^^
You still need another paragraph in history, and your personality has a bit too many skills and not enough actual traits. Try stemming traits from her talents - maybe her ability to climb well makes her feel superior to others, etc.? There's a lot that you can expand on this, and I can't wait to read it!
You can always just click edit on the first bio and edit that accordingly. You don't need to post a new bio each time. Just respond when you've edited and we'll get back to you!
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 378
Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #10 on Nov 25, 2011, 4:06pm » | |
Hope it's good!
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~{Skip Ronan~District 4}~ |
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #11 on Nov 25, 2011, 4:12pm » | |
It's definitely better. Unfortunately, I think that you need another paragraph of personality as well; sorry for not catching it earlier Dx
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 378
Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #12 on Nov 25, 2011, 10:55pm » | |
Ok I put it up.
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shrimp
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What's this... Geometric breakfast grid?
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Karma: 7 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #13 on Nov 26, 2011, 2:19pm » | |
Hi!
Looking at Mylee's personality, here's what I can gather:
- quiet
- calm
- independent
- sweet
- occasionally violent
- creative/imaginative
I'd like you to give her another negative personality trait, for I feel that she has too many positive traits in ratio to her negative trait. Besides, negative traits help make a character more interesting :DD It's so much fun to mess around with things and see what you'll get!
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Mylee
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[M:-1350]
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Joined: Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 378
Location: Riding a Unicorn :3
Karma: -88 | | Re: Mylee District 12
« Reply #14 on Nov 26, 2011, 8:07pm » | |
There you go!
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~{Skip Ronan~District 4}~ |
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