Insanity begins...

Estelle Havenporth

I swear, im going to scream. My body pulses and rushes, throwing temptation out the window. My blood thumps within my veins, flowing quickly in and out. Tears escape my sorry eyes, sobs escape my chest. I finally gasp awake, sit straight up and prop myself on my elbow. Just a dream, Estelle. Just a dream. I gasped in and out, and surveyed the room surronding me. Plain white walls with curtains and a dressing room, a bathroom and a small kitchen. I shake my hair out, peering at the mirrored nightstand that makes me look wild. Its still dark out, the streetlights still on, so I appear in the mirror a ghost, a shadow of my former self. I checked the clock, which claimed that it was three thirty, in its neat, square letters. I wrapped myself in the blankets, looking at the ceiling. Lately, I was having a hard time falling asleep, which was pretty unusual for me. Even before I was on the train, reaped, sent to die. I was having a hard time falling into sleep, I was restless and easily distracted, even though they intesified since I heard the reaper call my name in simple, plain letters. "Estelle Havenporth" I remembered the rage, the dissapointment. It made me want to puke. Suddenly, I just broke out crying, my tears swelling the pillow. I hit the pillow hard, sobs escaping my mouth. Hate the people who owned this pillow. President Snow, the prep team, the mentor, the gamemakers. Instead of sobbing over a hot chocolate, I started to piledrive the pretty room. I smashed the silk flowers in the vase, which shattered onto the ground. I looked at the mirror and took a ketchup bottle and started to write on it. I turned the room upside down, the fear and anger rolling through me. I hated them all so much, so much rage was directed at those people. They were going to kill me. Take my life from the reaches of my hands, dangle it by a thread so some eighteen year old boy from district 2 would rip it down and devour my soul. For the will to stay alive. What vile, repulsive, disgusting pigs of people. The anger flooded me, and I retaliated against the clothes in my wardrobe. I smeared honey in my hair, and a pillow broke, leaving feathers adorning the honeyed hair. But, by the time of eight o clock in the morning, it went into a permenat mess. I didnt care. I put on the first thing I grabbed from the floor and walked out, hair and all.

I got there about the same time as most of the other teenagers, who were adorning the stations with skills of magicalness. I know, its not a word, but it is. I immediatly headed towards the one place where I knew I needed to go: I needed to head towards a station called self defense. Something I would need. The trainer, a petite woman with eyes the color of cream looked at me. "Oh honey, you came to the right place!" She said, her black and blonde hair bouncing behind her. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, and she smiled back at me. What was with this smiling, I would not know. All I knew that I needed self defense class. Like, now. I looked at the tributes who were with the weapons, and shuddered. I needed this. So, the woman, who I learned whos name was Delilah, taught me how to kick and punch, and duck. Of course, this was unusual for the games, but something I thought I needed. If you wanted to win in the arena, I would have to have defense. Against the evilness that lay in the gamemakers hands. Suddenly, I just swung back into a savage move. When Delilah tried to attack me, instead of defending at her, I took a swung at the woman, who ducked right back. Anger swelled my face, and I attacked her, pounding on her legs. She eyed me, and kept on dodging my moves, which made me even more inferior. I was in the zone. I disobeyed all the rules of the class. I fought back, to someone who was stronger than me. I hit, I attacked, with no peril mercy. Nothing to motivate me to stop. I was a savage beast, trying to attack the woman that made me so mad. And suddenly, it stopped. A calmness washed over me. And I fell to the ground, crying.

There was something wrong with me, I was sure.