{Blind;When You Were Young;Like a lawyer} Death.

{Blind;When You Were Young;Like a lawyer} Death. Mar 4, 2011 22:01:10 GMT -5

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Post by peanutpie on Mar 4, 2011 22:01:10 GMT -5

Phoenix Medona

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((((Act 1: Blind)))

I'm sick and tired of the mess you made me
You're never gonna catch me cry
You must be blind if you can't see
You'll miss me til the day you die
Without me, you're nothing
You must be blind if you can't see
You'll miss me til the day you die

The second thing on Phoenix's mind after running from all the gore and blood, she shuddered as she recalled her own life. The thing that turned her mind upside down, and made sure that she wasn't here. She would always be somewhere she didn't want to be, constantly. She shuddered as she looked at the sky, which was crackling with anticipation. The warmth draped itself around her bloodstained shoulders like a second sweater, only subsituting for the purple one pulled around her waist in a criss-cross pattern. It looped inside the other sleeve, just trying to keep on the thirteen year old girls hips. As she darted amongst the muddy ground, she wondered what she would find in this fictionalized world set upon her. Of course, she hadn't known much before this certain moment, but now she could find the arena to be... this was a bit odd.

She rolled her head back into her shoulders as she ran, the bag she had collected bouncing along with her. She found some kind of rythm as she ran, making sure that she was skilled enough to run the short or long distance to the geyser in the distance. She had never been a very good runner, but now, as the adrenaline ran through her veins, she wondered if she was getting better. Or was it the blood loss that was encouraging her to go farther? She wondered on this for a second before looking at the arena around her. The scenery was crisp, and everything seemed to have an ominous feel to it. She seemed to be a bit distrusting in the whole situation, seeing the clouded vision around her. Of course, it was sunny, but when you had blood by your eyes, of course. The whole thing was just too horrible to ponder.

As she ran, she tried to remember things to keep motivation. Sure, she would be dead eventually, she knew that That Mentz kid seemed a little overconfident, and as she knew, the people that tended to be overconfident won at anything. Take Bear for example. The kid just seemed too confident for his own good. It explained Phoenix's slight obsession with him at one point in her life. Confidence at one point had been something she sought with bright eyes and wanted more than anything. Phoenix, oh god. Timid Phoenix. School, with its difficult teasings and Phoenix's confidence usually plummeting into a spiral. Sure, the stalking, at one point, had become something of an addiction. She had needed it, constantly. And thats why when she hadn't had it.... She was in a puddle of hot mess.

Phoenix tried to regain some form of composure as she ran across the whole amount of the grass, her feet striking each strand and squishing them against the mud. The soppy made sure that her shoes were dirtied up and that Phoenix would be considered a mess. Even to the people that she cared for. God, she never had thought she'd be in this deep.

The feeling of self pity she had in her stomach reminded her of.... Oh god. She could feel the sickness wash over her, and as she watched her hands move, one grasping the bag and the other holding the hatchet, she wondered, honestly, why was she here? She could of gotten off that stage and went away... Hell, she could of fufilled that fantasy with Bear, if she wanted to. But, no. Months before the reaping, she had been raped by the person. She had gotten what she wanted.

And with that, Phoenix's mind raced into a flood of thoughts about the person she had once enjoyed the company (secretly, actually) of. I had once even loved him. Love. An emotion I had never felt for any other human being. God, he was such an idiot. Hell, I was even one. I am such a stupid person. He was a pedophile. But, no. He was only one of those people that you couldn't help but love. Those people, with the intresting facets and dramatic remarks about something or nothing. God, he was such a person. Charisma, charm. Why am I even thinking this? Shut up, mind. Shut up. Why are you even giving me this? Please, don't. I love him. No, wait I don't. Why do I have to make this difficult on myself? Conflicted emotions fail. Please, don't try to make me this way, mind. I don't want to be so.... So dramatic. Please shut up, mind.

Phoenix finally arrived at a small embankment by the geyser. The water seemed to be a bit warm, so she avoided to drink it. Finally, she was tempted to start to shuffle around in her items, so she propped the iodine tablets inside the water jug and unloaded the rest of the bag. The gloves, the sunglasses that had been thrown onto her face into haste. Oh, how much she regretted those iodine tablets. Two or three people had attacked her, and she had felt violated. She just felt violated. Why? Sure, two had been men, but she was defending herself. They had ganged up on her. Dammit. She found herself ranting to herself once again, trying to rewire her mind into hatred. Sure, she may of felt like that, but... She shuddered and held the sunglasses in her hands, trying to find use in them. They were stupid and pointless items. She threw them to the ground in a hint of fury, watching them bounce into the water. Stupid, pointless items, flying into the water. Pleasant.

Phoenix watched as she dropped the water jug into the water, watching it scatter to the bottom of the pool of water. The iodine went with it. The gloves and the bag and the hatchet followed. The flashlight and finally the compass were engulfed in the hot water, and Phoenix smirked at the simplicity. Each and every thing she had there was now gone. She took off the jacket around her waist and threw it in. The jacket landed and floated on the surface for a good minute before beggining its decent into the water. Phoenix did the same with her shoes, her socks, her belt. Each item didn't want to sink, but eventually, they did. Sure, it may of took a few minutes to do so. Phoenix then went to work on her shirt. Slowly ripping edges of cloth from the bottom, her careful fingers pierced the fabric as they made the large noises known as ripping.

(((Act 2: When You Were Young)))

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

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Phoenix tried to remember something from home. Nothing related to Bear, nothing connected to stalking. She tried to remember the happy times, was there something that she could rememeber from her family? When they were something of a normal people, before her Mother went homicidal, and before her Father had died from her Mother's homicidal tendecies? She touched her hand to her feet, now bare and touching the muddy banks. Her other hand was still gripping the ripped fabric, her eyes darting one way, then the other. She finally tried to recall something about her father.

A man with dark hair and large framed glasses sat at a kitchen table, his pale and long hands grasped around a cup of coffee. The blue mug had a tea bag dangling over one side. The long string was something Phoenix could remember toying with the hour before, before the tea had gotten cold. The smile of the man, the man that Phoenix vaguely remembered. The person that had once called Phoenix sugar-scoot. God, she remembered now. Sugar-Scoot, the man had called, in his echoing voice, the one that seemed to fill the whole house in something of a daze. Oh, that glorious voice, with the rationality she had craved in a voice for so long now. The deep voice that seemed to echo against the walls, reminding Phoenix of home. Homeward bound. And this whole scenery had a tile floor, black and white alternating tiles. Black and white, black and white. The slick tiles would feel good if you were to run a piece of paper under your feet. Childhood memories. The precious things, the perfect things. The socks on the feet of little Phoenix were pink that day, and when her Father picked her up, Phoenix's little legs scattered around.

That's when Phoenix saw the similarity between her and her father. The same patient eye shape, the hair that was an odd shade. The nose that never seemed quite perfect. The only thing that was noticibly different were that they were different genders and ages. Phoenix had never really thought about this before, especially since the only non-mental memoir she had to her father had been an old black and white picture that had been taken with a shaky hand. But, for sure, if you were to dig into your memories, you could really take something from it.

What Phoenix took, laying in the grass down by the banks, was quite sad. Shaking her head, she finally just felt... disturbance. She was being watched. Phoenix breathed in, trying to catch her breath on the sad and pathetic squalling that probably was going to come out of her mouth any second now. The pathetic warble and the demonic yell. She would probably be a blubbering idiot by the time she died, then. Forever deemed the girl that just cried. And with that, Phoenix just smiled and started to patiently explain everything that she wanted to say. Everything.

"My name is Phoenix Medona. Pathetic Phoenix, the hyperboles would say. they taunted. I honestly wished that I could get out of this mess that I call a district. I wanted to run away with the person that raped me. Well, before he raped me, but still. I guess I should start at the top with my confessions. When I was four years old, my Mother killed my father. I just recently regained any form of memory of him, and honestly, I just figured out that I look like him. How she killed him, I don't know. Probably poison. She was convicted of it, just never sentenced. I ask that everyone responsible for having my Mother in the outside world be put to death after this broadcast, and most possibly, my own death. Thank you capitol. Now, whatever else... She has killed at least eight other men and has gotten off spot-clean. Yeah, admit that is fair, capitol. Please do."

"Now, continuing on. When I was about.... eleven, I think, I started to follow Bear Keeni around. Yes, Bear Keeni. A man, approximatley six feet eight inches high. Dark hair, brown eyes. Can't miss him. He's in the detention center right now, at my last thought. I haven't been following his every move since the incident. Yes, the incident. I was in the woods, he found me. Lets just say I got what I wished for, technically. He raped me. I was then terrified of men for a very long time."

"I even aimed for all the men in the bloodbath because I needed to be even. And when I chopped off that kids hand, I was actually quite pleased with myself. Being happy is being happy. I guess you could call it sadism, but I was only happy when it happened to the opposite gender. I liked this, honestly I did. And now, that I insist that you give Bear Keeni more jail time, please. Or at least sentence him to a day more, I don't care. You could chop off his head if I demanded it, I would. But for just a little rape might not be fair to him. Hell, I still hate him, but honestly. Why would I want a man to die? Wait, caught my tounge then. Kill him, I ask you to. Now, if you have any more questions for me, just shoot me in the head, please. Just shoot me. Because my confessions, laying here in the mud and showering the possessions I have into the water is quite intresting. Leave me alone. To die. Now."

Phoenix finally ripped off the cloth completley. Holding the ripped cloth in her hands, she wondered why in the heck she was doing this. Shedding posessions, of course.

(((Act 3: I'm like a lawyer)))

Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself this sick in the head
Cause I know how the words get you {off}

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

Collect the bad habits
That you couldn't bare to keep
Out of the woods but I love
A tree I used to lay beneath
Kissed teeth stained red
From a sour bottle baby girl
With eyes the size of baby worlds

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

The best way
To make it through
With hearts and wrists intact
Is to realize
Two out of three ain't bad
Ain't bad

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
(Honeymoon)
Setting in a honeymoon
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I wake up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I wake up next to you
(Honeymoon)
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And as we bid farewell, do our wishes fufill themselves?

Now, as we end the tale of Phoenix Medona, just remember, be careful what you wish for. Because you just might get it.