Insight (Fight; Dice vs. Noelle vs. Larae)

Noelle opened her eyes, waking up from sleep. The world was empty, wavering in front of her. Noelle instinctively sat up, warmth embracing her. She could see no light, yet darkness did not appeal to her senses either. There was nothing. Noelle blinked, wondering if she was merely stuck in one of those ironic, semi-conscious moments; she wondered if her eyes merely needed some time to adjust. Besides, she still felt the moist ground, still heard the winds whispering, and still sensed the soft smell of life. Though, even when she blinked, she saw nothing.
The world was still blank.

It took a few minutes for Noelle to comprehend anything of what was going on. She started blinking madly, waiting for her vision to return to normal. It’s alright, she told herself. I’m just a little out of it at the moment. I’ll be alright. But she wasn’t, and she realized that in only a matter of time.

She couldn’t see, no matter what she tried. Her vision had scuttled away from her, and was ultimately nowhere to be found. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek almost placidly. She began to rub her eyes, blinking much too many times to count. Though, rubbing and blinking did nothing except make her eyes feel slightly irritated. Noelle was too overwhelmed to wonder how her loss of sight had come to be. She had no desire to think, but rather to act. Devastating fear crushed her insides: it swam through her nerves so quickly, like a spreading flood. She didn’t even try envisioning her surroundings; she knew it was no use. She spread her hands across the ground, trying to grab hold of something, trying to get a grip on herself. More tears started trickling down her cheeks, and Noelle coughed, trying to stifle the sobs that were wedged in her throat. Moss, along with moist grass, peaked beneath her fingers, yet she could only feel it. She could not see the color of the sky, could not tell what time of day it was. Only the sounds, the smells, the feelings, could tell her. The little things like the lack of crickets chirping, the unique smell of daylight that she hadn’t been aware of before, and so much that she had previously missed being conscious of. Having no sight was yet too much, though.

Noelle continued to let the tears trickle down her face, too afraid, too unstable, to wipe them away. She let her hands sweep vigorously across the ground again, her thoughts swirling too much to give her any sense of direction. She half-crawled a few inches, unable to figure out where she was going, nor what was in front of her. Once she had a sense of direction, she tried standing up. She got to the point where she was able to walk a little ways, with her hands out in front of her, until she crashed back down again. She tried to remember what the world looked like, but slowly, her memories of past visions and sights, started to slip away. She tried to snatch them, but they were like soap bubbles wading through the air: the moment she tried to grasp them, they popped. She let her quiet sobs free, her face still drowned in tears. She continued trying to get up, trying to feel her way around, trying to see without her eyes to help her.

How had this happened? She tried to remember everything she had witnessed, everything that had happened. The bloodbath: nothing had happened there that could have caused this. Then, the marsh: she had run into a few slugs that had tried to attack her when she entered, though she had gotten them off of her before they could cause any harm. How could they have been the reason? They had barely touched her before she had run from them, shaking them off. Then, she had hid in the tall grass, waiting to enter the fight that Dice and Ali were caught up in; nothing could have harmed her then.

Maybe it was one of the plants she’d picked. Were there any plants that caused blindness with a single touch? Noelle had many doubts about that; it was extremely unlikely. So, what if none of these things had been the cause? Then, one of her allies must have done it. How? Noelle had no idea. She tried to remember: who had been on watch? Dice. He had been on watch that night. Noelle shook her head, afraid to put her belief in that single possibility. She had trusted Dice; she had trusted both of her allies. It was hard to believe either of them had done it. Had they really betrayed her? Somehow blinded her? Why not just kill her? Maybe it was someone else…maybe her allies were actually dead.
By now, Noelle was up on her feet, walking as carefully as possible. Fear swept through her again, as she thought of everything she would never see. Never again would she see the trees that she knew so well, the color of the water that she purely loved seeing, the sunset as it spread its arms across the sky. Never again would she get to see the visions she put into her artwork, her paintings, which were still hidden beneath the floorboards, under her former bed. She wouldn’t get to face death seeing her killer’s face; instead, she would be forced to die with only her memories of the sounds, smells, and feelings around her.

However, it wasn’t just the fact that she had no sight for her surroundings that bothered her. It was the fact that she had just lost her confidence, almost completely. She was weaker than she could have imagined now, trying to push her way through these games. There was nothing she could do for herself, without relying on others, without losing her natural independence. Every move would be a risk, if she didn’t know where she was going; every action would have an outcome created by pure chance. Noelle brought the back of her hand to her face, trying to wipe away the tears that just kept coming. She wanted to cry out to one of her allies, but she was too afraid to open her mouth, too afraid to call to help that would never come. Who was she kidding?

This was the arena: she had no allies. Not anymore. She knew that if her allies would turn on her the moment it came down to it; they didn’t care. Everyone in this arena was merely an object; no humans were left in this seemingly fictional, but shamefully true world. Noelle did not know where she was anymore. Was she walking in circles? Had she been the one to wander away from her allies? Where was her hope?
That’s when she realized it: she had nothing with her. Her satchel, her longsword, and her water jug had been right next to her on the ground where she had been sleeping, and now, she had left them both, out of fear, out of lack of reasoning. She quickly dropped to the ground, feeling her way around. Her items were her life out here in the arena. She crawled, trying to keep her sense of direction, but losing it quickly. Finally, she felt the handle of Dice's whip and she let herself relax a bit. It was better than nothing. She managed to get the strap of her satchel over her head, with a firm grip still on the whip. She missed her longsword a bit, but she didn't have much time to think about that. She couldn't find it.

She felt her heart beating quickly against her heart, her breath heavier by the second. She finally felt enough strength to say the words, to call out for help. “Dice!” Noelle cried out in fear. She stumbled to her feet cautiously. She wanted to see. She needed to see. The desire to know what was going on, kept creeping up on her, forcing her into insanity. She heard no response from either of her allies right away. She wished she knew the District Ten girl’s name; though, she had been too preoccupied the day before, to ask.

“Dice!” She called louder this time, her words muffled by more tears. She had never remembered being this afraid before. At least, when she had entered the arena, she knew what was going on around her, and she knew that even if she was being hunted down, her attacker would always be in her line of vision.

Noelle kept her balance, standing still, her ears listening for a response. She kept the whip raised, not that it would be much use to her, but just in case someone else was there, ready to attack. Noelle was finished with trust. She still hadn’t had the sense to know how she had become blind in the first place, but she didn’t linger on that anymore. It was mostly the fact that she hadn’t heard her allies answer her, that she couldn’t see them, that insanity was starting to replace fear. Confusion swept through her just as fast as fear had, making her feel unstable. She felt that insane, deathly feeling overcoming her again. She needed to attack; she needed to kill, before it was too late. Maybe if she killed...if she got it over with...she wouldn't feel as confused, or as bad. Common sense drifted quite far from Noelle's mind, as she flipped through her thoughts. Confusion and fear were the two worst things when it came to compatibility. Noelle was rarely afraid, and usually far from confusion, so the feeling of them combined, was almost new to her. All she needed was a bit of insight: insight without sight, perception without visual instinct, to get her through.

Yet, instinct told Noelle that she was ready to attack whoever came near her. Too much fear was building up, overcoming her, while she had nowhere near enough insight to get her through the moment.