Let's Pretend We're Not Alone (Arrow)

August Millory

No more tears, no more pain,
No more crying in the rain.
No more tears. No more tears.
Not again.

Leaving was the hardest part. They came to say good bye, both completely broken. My mother's face was tear stained, wide eyes staring at me and wondering why would I do such a thing? My father looked hollow, his eyes empty as he hugged me, yet his grip was strong, as if he could anchor me to District Eleven if he just squeezed tight enough. My mother then took a necklace out of her bag. I had recognized it immediately- it was the one thing they found with me, hidden away in one of my pockets. One would have thought that the thing would bring joy to me- a piece of my past. A clue, perhaps. But instead, it frightens me. Whenever my parents would ask about it, my eyes would widen and I would shake my head, because something about it seems forbidden, like I shouldn't have it. Instead, it should be thrown in the nearest lake and forgotten. After a while, they stopped trying, and hid the necklace. When she revealed the piece of jewelry, my eyes widened, and I shook my head. It's a beautiful thing- a gold chain with a beautiful green stone that has a stream of light shooting through the middle. But still, it's the kind of beautiful that seems to hide something.

My mother begged me to take it, and so I did, my fingers trembling as I shoved it into my pocket. I had already started crying by that time. We all were. And then, all too soon, they had to leave, and I was left feeling like someone had thrown a rock at me- I became a shattered thing, uncertain and jumpy and terrified. I stayed in my room for most of the train ride, hiding underneath my covers. They were soft and silky, like the ones I had at home. But they were also to crisp and clean and new, so I found it impossible to forget as I closed my eyes and buried myself under the blankets.

It was only a day ago, but that day feels like a lifetime. I just can't believe that yesterday, I was normal and happy, and now I am someone totally different. Am I losing my mind? I can't lose my mind. Not yet. I have to at least try in these Games, although I doubt I'll even make it past the first few minutes. I chose the wisest stations I could, and now all I can hope for is that they will come in handy in this mysterious Arena. Once again, I wonder what it will be like. Will water be easy to find, or will the entire place be a big desert? Will there be an ocean? A lake, perhaps? Will it be warm and humid, or cold and dry? The possibilities are endless.

As lunch is called, I look up, watching the other tributes begin to slowly move into the Dining Hall. Sighing, I follow, gazing at all the others cautiously. It's so hard to tell who will be a threat and who will be a friend- I haven't even considered allying with any of them yet. Trust is a difficult thing for me- I've never trusted anyone because no one ever trusted me. And now, in this world so foreign (the Capitol has so many lights and colors, so unlike the constant green in District Eleven), and with no one knowing my secrets, I find myself confused and uncertain. In the Hunger Games, trust never lasts, but even the shortest of alliances are valuable. But who with? My mentor warned me against choosing someone small and weak- they will either be useless to me, or will betray me the first chance they get. But she also said that the strongest aren't smart, either. Those are the ones who would do anything to win.

I sit down at a table and consider what to eat (my apetite was left behind in District Eleven- I only eat to build strength for the Arena). I randomly choose some bread that looks like it's from our district, and begin eating, my thoughts quickly wandering. I wonder what my parents are thinking right now. What about my district? Have they gotten over the immediate shock? Are they now glad that I'm gone? Or do they regret treating me the way they did? They are the only ones who know. None of the Capitolites know, which I am thankful for, and the other tributes probably wouldn't care if they did know. The rest of Panem sees me as just another tribute. I am just one of twenty four faces.

And I will keep it that way for as long as I can.