The Claws of Insanity {Surge Day 2}

The sand just looked awful against his purple skin. Surge was on the brink of tears. He was purple and he didn’t understand why. He had left the Heather Field; he had ended the fight that had caused him the use of his right wrist. He had left the place of the first person he had ever killed. He looks shakily down at himself again; down at the body that he had known so well for years, Surge knew all his strengths right to the limit, right to his breaking point. At the forge you had to know what you were capable of, of what your body could handle. Surge’s father had once told him just how powerful he was, just how strong he was. Surge was stronger than his father. Well… he used to be. Right now Surge looked weak. Surge felt like a disgrace. He felt like nothing more than just a toy. He knew they could kill him in an instant. He smiled bitterly he was more than sure that the Capitol had got their laughs from seeing a purple naked guy fight and idiot with no weapon. Surge laughed coldly, there was no humour. There was nothing good about the laugh. Surge felt hopeless, he was nothing more than a shame to his parents… Nothing more than a nobody. He would even understand if his parents denied him, even if they told everybody they didn’t know him. Surge didn’t want to know himself.

All of this, all of it was pushing Surges mental sanity. He knew he was close to being pushed off the cliff and into the swirling waters of madness, maybe it was a good thing. Maybe being insane would help; maybe it would make him more interesting. More of a freak. More of those idiots in the Capitol, more like those twats and stupid high pitched idiots that laughed at kids being murdered. That was it? Wasn’t it? If he let himself sink and drown in insanity he would be like them. Everyone he loved or cared about would be dead to him. Everything about him would change. He wouldn’t be Surge, he wouldn’t be true to himself. Yet it felt so much easier just to fall of that cliff rather than turnaround and face everything that was behind him. Nothing easy either turned out good. You can’t shortcut life, without no pain and struggle what is life? You lose who you really are and everything you value. Surge couldn’t do that. He was standing now, in the middle of the sand. A mental battle raged within him, part of him screamed to do it, to let himself fall, but there was a fight, no matter how small it was. Part of him told him to take a step forward. To do what was right, right? Yes, right for himself and who he was.

All his muscles were tense and his eyes were fixed on… nothing, he wasn’t seeing what was around him, he was seeing nothing, but what was going on inside him. His father, mother and cousin kept flashing across his eyes, they said sweet things like “Goodnight.” And “I love you.” They were things he missed the most, the little things meant the most. ”Be strong, no matter what you do we will always be with you. You are my son.” Those had been the last words his father had said to him the morning before the reaping. Surge hadn’t seen them before he had left. He hadn’t wanted to. Now he regretted it with everything in his heart. Surge wanted to see them. He lifts his eyes to the worl around him, new determination shone in his eyes. Slowly he took a step forward. Forward towards the future and the only way he would make his parents proud. Not giving up. With each step he felt more confidence flow through him. He might be naked and purple, but this-at the moment-was who he was. He didn’t care a damn what others thought about it. As if on queue a small parachute floats down from the sky. It lands in front of Surge. A water jug. Surge grinned with the most happiness he had felt for a while. Someone still wanted him alive, he thought.

Surge shoves it into his bag, now intended on getting water and staying alive. Trying to find his home, trying to see all the people he loved. Slowly the insanity fell behind him. It floated away with each step he took away from the cliff.

[Surge has fled the sand, he now has a water jug :D]