D3// NOLAN ALDER {DONE}

It wasn’t too long ago when I had two parents -I had both a mum and dad. They were happy bright people. Yeah, I know what you’re all thinking. It’s Panem, most kids have no parents. Most parents had stupid ridiculous deaths. Or their parents decided to ditch them. It’s always some outrageous story on why there parents died or left them. Mines simple. So simple I could say it in three words. They got sick. Yeah. They got the cold, and in District three the doctors don’t really care about colds, they have much more depressing matters. So their colds got worse, and the died. It was nothing heroic or some gruesome fight. They just got sick like normal people, and one morning they decided to never wake up again.

My mum got sick first. We both shared the same deep brown eyes. Yes I mean deep. They aren’t so much as dark, but when you stare into them, you feel like you’re looking into deep water, from which you can’t escape. Her eyes were always warmer than mine. Mine are more cold and distant. Once when I looked in the mirror to me it felt as if all the joy had been sucked out of them, all happiness and warmth. They were just two pools of icy water. The only other thing I know we both had was the same nose, it was quite a sharp nose, but on her it looked perfect, on me I feel like an eagle. It juts out too much, but it is one of my only two reminders that I have of her. Death makes you truly love the little things in life.

After my mum fell sick my dad spent all his time with her. And because they were so close and he wouldn’t leave her, he caught the bug and died shortly after her. Him and I we were so much alike. We both had the thin lips, so pink and full, a face with high prominent cheekbones. Ears that seemed to be just perfect. We both had brown hair, with a blonder streak here and there. It was always messy and sat like a mop on top of our heads. I was my father’s son. We both had a tall, and strong build. I was at first shocked that his strong body had been unable to fight the sickness, did that mean, my body was just as weak? Was it just looks on the outside? We were both strong men, muscles bulge from our arms more so them anywhere else. Unlike my own my father’s eyes were a unsettling blue. They were kind of like ice, but with the merest fleck of green in them. They were not good looking eyes. That was perhaps why he would always wear sunnies. I could never wear glasses or anything over my eyes.

I was a bit of both of them.

I don’t know honestly where I got my personality from. Both my parents were people who believed everyone around them was equal, just as my cousin Surge did. I don’t think that. No one is equal in a world, if we were all equal there would be no Panem, No president Snow. No Hunger Games. But that isn’t so. Others believe that they are high then everyone around them. So do I. I know I am a better person then each peacekeeper or all those snotty nosed stupid career tributes. I am so much better than them. My parents didn’t think so. They always thought some of us never got a choice at what they could do or had to become. Some people are forced into decisions. Not me. Everyone has a choice. No one gets anywhere by just being there. It is your choices that you make who determine who you are. They make others better and others worse. We aren’t equals.

My parents however always said that the one thing that they loved about me the most was my gentleness. I would always scowl and glare at them whenever they said that to me. But then one day I began to take notice. Whenever I was around a small child I would always… I was gentle. It would always be soft kind words, a gentle touch. A kind word. Anger, rage and hate where never in the equation when I was around children. But it didn’t stop there. I am always respectful towards an old person. When it comes to the elderly my eyes soften, and my mother would always say that they got that special glow that made her eyes so special. But it would only ever sho when I was with her or people who needed me. People who needed my protection. I just felt like I needed to protect them. They couldn’t defend themselves, so I would. But being like this doesn’t stop me from being a selfish pig. I’m a contrasting person. I don’t know who I am.

I’m actually a really smart guy, or so I have been told, but to be popular you can’t be smart. So I act dumb. Popularity is really important. If you don’t have a high social standing then you don’t get the good questions asked, so you don’t make the right choices. You need social standing to make right choices, otherwise you’d be lost. Even though I am selfish, and I know stuck up, I was told enough times by my mum, I am actually a really honest guy. I tell the truth. Well, actually I don’t tell the truth if I don’t feel like it. Especially to girls. Man I hate girls they piss me off the little wimps. I mean I’m not gay, sure I dig girls, I just think they are big wimps that are scared of everything. They need to man up and grow some balls. I don’t know why, but I am really rude to girls.. oh wait. I dunno know why. I just in a way like seeing their faces when you call them fat or ugly. Oh My Ripred and when they start crying? I just can’t stop laughing.

But then when my parents died I cried. I didn’t laugh. And even though I knew what true sadness felt like I still find myself laughing at girls. Just for the pleasure of it.

When my parents died I started hanging out with Surge a lot more. It hurt just as bad as when my parents died as it did seeing, hearing his name get called out in the reaping. He was all I had. I was never close to the other side of the family like he was. He was always closer to them. He knew Genie so much. I watched her cry that day. And it hit me how close those two really were. During the games I would often visit them. I slowly started talking to genie a lot more. Not much, but a lot more then I had ever talked to her before. Well to be honest I had actually never talked to her before the games that Surge was thrown into. I think she suffered a lot seeing him naked, and his skin being dyed purple. It showed us just how much the Capitol could change the people you love. How weak we are against them. I don’t really know, but I think when his head got cut off, it was maybe the breaking point to her.

When my parents died I lost the two people I cared for the most in my life. When Surge died I lost everyone I cared for. The I stopped and looked at who I was. I realised something. Everyone in my life who was dead had only one person to blame for their death. President Snow. If he wasn’t such an asshole I would still have my family. He has ripped everyone from me. I did something I never thought I would do. I went over to my cousin’s house. I found my family. I found people who had lost a great person, they needed someone. I had found a broken girl. She needed someone. I only have one thing to say, if I ever meet president Snow. ”Fuck you!”