Where this is no Heaven there is no Hell [day 1]

Nothing means anything; there is no way to tell about any of this. At one moment, I am just walking around, and the next I see a tribute. Then we kill her, and more come along. I end up attacking the weak tributes ally. I get in a good attack on her that should cause some damage in the long run, and I really don’t mind if it ends up festering and he dies.

The District One female, Stark Harper, is again in one of our battles. It seems she has a nose for danger and the likes of it. Yet she knows not to attack Mahlah, Elon, Jae, and me, she wont go one against four for no reason at all. She does really good damage too, so even though she is just an accidental ‘hunting’ partner, she is a really good one to have.

After Stark took that tributes life, I forgot about the formalities and attacked, but now I realize how stupid that was. I’m not a killer, no matter what I am not a killer. I do not kill; I just injure people who mean to harm me. That guy, I think he was from District Five, he had no ill will towards me and was most likely going to leave. In fact, he must have been turning to leave right when I decided to put my spear into his back. It’s a cowardly move, but maybe it will make Jae and Elon think that I don’t care.

In reality, I do. I do care.

Everyone who saw me attack a fellow tribute just trying to run away will call me cowardly. I didn’t even try to get him to turn around. Sure, everything is fair in the Hunger Games, but there is a sense of pride I should have, being nearly a man. I no longer deserve to have that pride.

My father, up in heaven, he probably is calling me a coward. Everything up to that attack on the male tribute from District Five was necessary; it was either attack or die. I very much like living, so those attacks were and will always be justified. This one will always haunt me.

Though Elon isn’t in this clearing by the river, Jae is, so Mahlah is definitely looking up to him. I have to try to take the lead, take charge, make it seems like I deserve respect even though I really do not. After all, respect is the only reason alliances are formed, at least that was the case with Jae, Elon, and I.

”Jae, Mahlah, let’s get out of here! No need to stay in this loud place!”

They leave, and I am intent on joining them in just a few seconds.


But then all hell breaks loose.

The boy who we nearly killed in the bloodbath comes bursting through the bushes stupidly. Stark, seeing his many injuries, attacks him, but she misses

I’m stuck. My allies are leaving so I am alone with an idiot and a tribute much more skilled than I am, so I really should turn and run from this stream and get back to safety. But then there is the idiot who is so close to death even LeBlanc can sense it. I hear his nose twitching. Killing this tribute is necessary; it brings these games one-step closer to the end. I’d be doing this guy a favor, I really would. Besides, what is a little more blood on the blade of my pike? Even more important than that, I want to do it…

I really want to do it…

I want to kill this tribute.

I never expected anything to be like that, never. I thought it would be a cold realization like the 59th Hunger Games’ arena, or a burning sensation that wasn’t so nice, maybe the feeling of rocks piled on top of my body, or just like the impact of sprinting into a concrete wall.

I feel none of those things.

In fact, the realization feels nice. It’s Comforting.

With my body full of ease, I show no mercy and thrust my Pike at the soon to be tributes chest.

[Attacks Fallstreak w/ Pike]
[dice=200+3000]
[Deep Gash on Chest| 9.5]

Before the spear goes in, I know my victim is going to die.

A cannon fires.

That one sound only verifies the change that has taken place in me. It isn’t a change of me living to dying, but it shows the world just how different I am on the inside. I didn’t need to kill that boy right now, I could have let someone else kill him or could have just killed him later, but no. I sat, pondered, and then decided that I should take this boys life. I think LeBlanc is fine with it too, he didn’t even move in the backpack when my spear dug into the male tribute from District Eleven.

As my pike digs deeper and deeper into his chest, and the life saps out of him, I feel empowered. I feel stronger than before, like killing him makes me better. Deep down I know it’s wrong, I really do, but yet I still sense joy from this kill. It might be battle lust, but I’ve never felt that before, it might be pure adrenalin. Or, I could just be an evil and terrible person.

I’m not a bad person, I just wanted to see his life slowly break from leave his eyes.

Most of me wanted to see the look on the boys face when he knew it was over, the look that asked ‘why?’, but would never be answered. As I keep my spear in my fellow tributes chest, I stare into my first kill’s eyes. I don’t know what he is telling me, but I know I have the power. I could have decided to let this boy live, or let somebody else kill him. No, I couldn’t. He was my kill from the time we were lifted into the arena. That I can tell.

As I take the pike out of the boy’s chest, I turn around, surveying the area around me. It appears some more idiots who thought they were from Districts One, Two and Four heard the commotion and decided to come running. If my allies were here, I would slaughter them just like we did with the two tributes dying around me, but it is just Stark Harper and I. The three idiots pay me no attention, nor do they attack Stark, though she seems willing to get a shot on one of them.

There is no reason for me to stay, so I wipe the blood of the two victims from my weapon onto the side of my shirt. I then put on my sunglasses, massage my knee from getting pushed down in the bloodbath, and turn away from the clearing and into the woods, grabbing a few branches off the ground for firewood.

Only one thing stays in my mind as I try to catch up with my allies, that one thing is the feeling of killing. I can’t help but to feel excited for the time when my next kill will come. The pure unadulterated joy that comes with taking somebody’s life is unmatched.

Maybe I could kill my allies.

No. Never. I quickly get that thought out of my mind. Without them, I would be dead right now. I couldn’t even kill them if I wanted to. They are nice, and I’m sure somebody else will get them before I would have to.

So no, I won’t kill my allies. But I do stay alert for any unfamiliar human noises even after I join back up with my allies. Even the faintest sound makes me reach for my weapon, instantly excited to get on the hunt again.


OOC: Walker Flees, performs first aid on himself bringing him down from .5 to 0 damage, and collects one more amount (i guess) of firewood, bringing him to two.