{My Three Lost Kings* [Naveen, Day 1]

Once upon a time everything was perfect. And then life decided it should meddle with that perfect world. That's when everything turned to complete shit. From the very beginning, life had fucked up my fairytale. It started with two, stupid young people. Madly in love, needing more than a hug and a kiss on the cheek to prove it, thinking nothing would happen. Turns out, I ruined their perfect love. The guy learned the girl was pregnant and ran away, not caring about the girl he was oh so madly in love with. Little baby me was born and then got another daddy. Okay, so it seemed perfect for awhile. Two little boys got added to the family and they looked amazing from the outside and to a little girl who couldn't see anything but good. Sure, her new daddy yelled at her when she got and A- on her report card or gave her chores to do when her mommy wasn't around, but how could that little girl care? It was just her daddy asking for favors and wanting the best for her. Right? And then there is another separation and no more daddy for the little girl. Another month she cried herself to sleep. And then her mother was away all the time - bringing strange men home at night. Making so much noise that it was sometimes hard to sleep. And then the day that little girl's mommy brought her daddy home. You know, the one that left her when he found out she was pregnant with her? It was the first time the little girl got to meet her real daddy. It was when that little girl cried and ran far away - just like her daddy had. The little girl got older - getting to be not so little anymore - finding a safe haven. Something that she thought could help her, could make her feel better - friends and a home. But it wasn't for long.

The friends are only painful memories to that little girl now. Tempus is now something that only makes that little girl cry. Thinking about the good times ... There really were no good times. Not real ones anyways. Because now that little girl is stuck in a hell - that once thought to be a safe haven nothing more than an illusion. No where is safe from the likes of life.

And now that little girl is sitting at the edge of a dark, sticky, swirling river, letting blood leak into her eyes, trying to wipe it away as it mixes with her tears. The mixture reaches her parted lips, which are frozen in a gasping sob, and all she tastes is salt and metal. Poor little girl. I bet she doesn't know she is about to die. I bet she is still too naive to notice death creeping up on her.

That girl, yeah, I'm an idiot.

It hurts to breath. It hurts to think. I hurts to move. So I stay still, holding my breath, trying as hard as I can to lose consciousness and just forget everything that has happened in the past few hours. But eventually my mind tells me to take a breath and I have to move or else I feel stuck and all of my recent memories storm back into my head. I just watched Mason get his head split open. I just watched Guy get chopped up with an axe. I just watched Theseus die at my knees. More tears, hot and heavy, streak down my bloody face. My alliance, my only friends, are gone. The queen sits high upon her thrown. What am I supposed to do now with no one to talk to? Her kingdom lay in ruins. How can I even think to do anything? Her three kings lay dead before her. The laurels are still clutched in my hand. It took me lots of dodging and twisting to avoid attacks. I set the silver crowns down in the sticky mud. They all have blood spattered across them. With no one to protect the queen, her kingdom shall crumble. I let my other hand unfold, revealing the small treasures that meant something to them. A necklace - Mason. A bracelet - Guy. A rough, tattered piece of a curtain from my home - Theseus. I know exactly which crown belonged to who. I know whose blood is on each crown. The queen will weep; for her kingdom and kings have been lost to a band of monsters. I push myself to my feet, keeping my eyes fixed on the dark water in front of me. I can't even see my reflection. I guess the darkness in my soul blends with the darkness of the water's depths.

The queen shall be beheaded for the entire kingdom to see.

I swing my arms back, bending my knees, and jump as far as I can into the river. I open my eyes in the murky depths seeing nothing but darkness. I can do it, let the darkness swallow me up whole. So I hold my breath and start to count in my head. One - attack by my amazing act. Two - mere seconds to pick up a strange weapon. Three - times I watched my friends die. Four - big steps between me and death. Five - deaths I had to watch, one after the other. Six - the district I was ripped away from. Seven - letters to spell out each name: Dempsey, Peridot, Phyllis. Eight - times I have decided to cut open my tongue just so I can feel something. Nine - silky smooth rose petals I have hidden in my dress. Ten - the exact number of people I have ever told that I loved them. Eleven - How can I let those people watch me die like this? Twelve - the number of seconds it takes me to realize that I can't kill myself. I kick up, gasping for a breath of sticky air - blinking away water from my eyes. I spit water from my mouth, sending small droplets across the crowns. My three lost kings. I climb back onto the riverbank, my dress heavy across my back and my shoulders, and crawl to the glistening crowns. The tokens. My three lost kings - they can't be gone. There is no way they are gone. I can't let them die.

I have to save them. They can't go.

I push myself to my feet, looking around frantically. I feel my eyes filling with tears again and my throat aches and I can feel my stomach churning. My three kings left me here all alone. They left me here to die. Why didn't they just take me with them? Mud squelches in between my toes as I stumble aimlessly along the shoreline. Please, no, don't leave me. I can't let them be gone. They aren't gone. Because if they leave me now, I won't be able to stay sane. My sanity will drain from my blood, my bones - my entire soul.

Three lost kings? Try one lost queen.

My scream scrapes through the sticky air, shattering any peace there was in this hell. "Are you all fucking happy now!? I'm sorry!! Why can't you forgive me?!" But none of them answer. Not a single word is uttered. They are going to ignore me - they can't forgive me. I let a scream scrape out of my throat again, grabbing fistfuls of mud and whipping them into the water. I can see there faces in the ripples of water created by my mud - they only stare blankly back at me. Unmoving, not flinching in the slightest. But they won't say a word - and the silence is beginning to eat away at my heart. And even after I continue to beg them - plead for an answer, for anything - they still only cut me with their searing gazes. I pick up my strange looking weapon, slashing through the air, trying to fend off the demons that are fighting to take control of me - that are trying to take away my kings. "You can't take them! No - you can't fucking have them!" And then I swing through the air so hard that somehow I end on my back, rolling around in the mud - losing all sanity. At least if I ever had any. I fall silent again, wiping away the blood and tears from my eyes. The mud all around me is stained red with the blood from my legs but I can't help but imagine their dead bodies laying around me, slowly draining of all blood, trying to consume me in their death and suffering and slow and painful demise.

I rip off the cloth at the bottom of my dress, splitting the dirty, white cloth into three pieces. Three togas. I find sticks and worthless plants lying around the river, hidden in the mud. Small broken bodies. I find some clay, building the substance up around the sticks that I have set up into small shapes of bodies. Flesh, blood, hearts. I slip the fabric over each clay figure, being careful to place it just right across their shoulders. I don't want to dress them incorrectly - I think if I did they might get mad. They look nearly complete but are missing one thing. Their heads are bare. My three kings have no shiny crowns. Dew speckled grass catches my sight and I pull 3 long strands from the ground, circling them on the top of each clay figures heads. I smile through the tears that are still tumbling off my cheeks. They look exactly like them. Theseus, Guy, Mason - they all came back.

"You guys are sure looking handsome today."

And I watch the small clay figures, my kings, smile right back at me. Whispering right in my ears and each kissing me on the cheek.

"Love you too, Navy."