{Inhale My Soul* [MS - Day 4]

Flames know that we cannot escape them, and thus burn toward the destruction of everything. It has been my only fear in life, to see a spreading fire and never be able to stop it. I like to have control. I want to create the chaos, and maybe be a part of it as well, but I also desire to control it. If I lose sight of what is mine and what the plan is, then I lose sight of my game. And this little demon cannot take any chances I have to grow into the hell that I'm building slowly and surely. And soon everyone will join me there. In those inferno's that I can make. In those flames I control. No chaos is too grand for me. I don't want this anymore though. Do I?

You will be the death of me
Yeah you will be the death of me...

I wake from a strange dream. Remie was there, telling me a story over and over and over... no the story just wouldn't end. It kept going and going and the pages in her book seemed so endless. And I told her, I wished for her, to please stop the insanity but all she would do is tell me to hush while she read me a story. The story has to end somewhere, doesn't it? I lick my lips and look around our camp, which seems oddly emptier than I remember. What is going on? Where are the others? Am I still dreaming? No, I remember waking and feeling the sweat on my body. It felt so real... I had to hope the world would stop spinning and that the lights would finally end. Spinning... I'm spinning... I don't remember spinning. No the world is still but throwing me around. I have to be dreaming, I have to still be dreaming.

I'm small again, a little boy in my bedroom tucked in some covers. They're tight, holding me down and pinning me there. No, the bed is in camp. I'm still small. Remie's in a chair with her story book. Her eyes... they're as black as coal. They're empty, soulless, something I've never known her to be. Why can't I get out of these damn sheets!? I struggle against the thread, feeling some tears well in my eyes. I'm a boy again, of course I would cry at a time like this. I'm scared, terrified. I was never in the games. It was all just a dream and now I'm back in reality. With the real demon. My sister... And she opens the book. She smiles. Her teeth... they're so sharp...

“Would you like to hear a story Damion?”

Bury it, I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out

I scream. As loud as I can. She's not my sister, no where near being her. Her voice is in three different pitches, as though someone were messing with those vocals of hers. Her hair is moving on its own, as though reaching out toward me. And those eyes, those coal eyes, don't reflect any emotion. I can't understand her. I want to. No, this can't be happening! It's not happening! I cry out for help from Remie, for Remie, I want her to save me from herself. And all she does is keep reading and reading, more and more, those words are getting scarier by the moment.

“Remie, please, help me! I can hear my own voice, still an teenager. Not a child. I've grown. This isn't real, it can't be real.

I break from my bindings and give out a loud yell, feeling my regular form come back to me. Whatever this nightmare is, I need to kill it before it does anything else to me. And I'll be damned if it does something. I feel the spear tight in my hand, Dory still waiting to be quenched. Don't worry little weapon of mind, we'll rid of these nightmares so they won't be bothering us anymore. And then we'll be back with Remie, back with the real sister. I raise the spear and lunge out.

[dice=4]
[Phyllis Roman]

[Damion lashes out with Dory]
[dice=200+3000]
[Shallow Cut in Neck - 4.0]

I hit her, I hit the demon that has been following me! Won't you forgive me Remie, won't you just let me live this once? Stop the nightmare, please? I don't want to have to fight you Remie, I just want your story to end. Won't you stop reading your story Remie?

won't you?
Won't You?
WoN't YoU?
WON'T YOU!?

Remie had stumbled back after I attacked her, and her eyes were changing back from that bad coal color to a new one. She was silent again, mute, as though she were looking for something out in the wilds. She was pointing, I didn't understand at what, because there was nothing there. There was nobody there. What the hell are you pointing at Remie!? My head tilts to the right and my hair falls over my face. The id is speaking once again. He wishes for me to just abandon her and does as I please, especially since the nightmare is over. Maybe I'll hunt them down, those who left me out here alone. I told them they would get no where without me. And they knew that. So why would they not be here anymore. It made no sense!

“You best start making sense Remie...” I shake my head, motioning toward the spear while looking at her. “I don't want to have to hurt you again.”

My head centers, the ego tries to hear both sides of the mind. What will we do with her? Why is she so scared? What could be scaring Remie so bad? She wasn't wrong in finding this new girl for us, and she wasn't wrong in guiding me this far. Why was she being so frightening? Something was wrong. This was a nightmare but worse. What was going on? Remie can't say a thing though, without her voice But the world is dark. Maybe there is something out there that I can't see. Something that is still haunting me in this nightmare. And it's still affecting my behavior, making me look mad. No, I am mad. I'm the maddest of them all. My head falls back to the id, and I let it command my every action from here on out.

Id pulls the tip of the spear to his mouth and licks it, tasting the fresh blood on the blade now. I can tell it gives me fury, and more will to drive against the forces around me. Id knows what he can do as well, and how to get the enemies to fear him. How to make the masses bow at his feet in fear. Yes, Id knew it all He was the chaos within me. And id could see what I could not, for off in the distance, where Remie was pointing, three boys were heading our way. Not just any boys either. I can remember them like it was yesterday. Yes, just from the movie. Id reminds me. It's the boy from District Ten. This is the one who killed Remie, and now he was coming for her again.

Why were there three?
Does it really matter?

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I raise my weapon in offense to him, look at each of them as they slowly head to Remie, each with different weapons. A flail. A knife. A spear. He always had a spear. He had that the day he attacked Remie. He would be the one that would strike her down. How smart id was. So then, if I got rid of him, I would be rid of the problems that were happenings with Remie. She wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. I would just take her worry and end it. That's what she wants anyways. For all of this to end for you little Damion. Id knows what Remie wants.

[dice=4]
[Phyllis Roman]

[Damion lashes out with Dory]
[dice=200+3000]
[Deep Gash on Right Arm - 8.0]

The Dory hits him in the arm, and I know it's enough for he's stopped moving. But then again, the boy from District Ten seems to be changing. His features are becoming something else. I can actually recognize him as someone else. Someone I know from here, in the arena. Here and now. My head lifts up and toward the left, the childish tears of superego welling up. No, I didn't... It wasn't me... I'm a good boy! Remie has grabbed my arm and is trying to pull me away, pull away this mass of hysteria and balling, childish being. I have just killed Phyllis Roman. Phyllis... who would follow me to the ends of the earth. Phyllis who was so sure that I would protect her. Only I have ended her life here. With my own hands. These stupid hands I let id use. Superego can't handle this. This isn't what he wanted. He was hoping for something bigger and better. For them to make it farther. They were better than the career's... weren't they?

I grab her, looking into those empty eyes. “Phyllis... Phyllis please say something... sister says something is wrong with you...”

I know what's wrong
The ego just won't allow it

And I know who will suffer the most from this... Riker. Riker was the one who was supposed to love her and care for her. The whole ploy for the television. But no one would tune away from this. They would watch it over and over again. The id is whispering sweet tidings in my ear. They'll have it on record. So that you can watch Phyllis die again and again and again... No! This isn't what I wanted at all. The glory of the games, the pain of everyone else. Superego's tears are too hard to contain. The world was going to remember me for doing what I wanted when I wanted. Now the Gamemarkers were just toying with us, I was sure, and somehow orchestrated all of this. All of this horrible... horrible downfall. Our friendship, our role in the world, it was slowly fading.

I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Remie would have stopped me.
She was trying to stop me.

Now that you know I'm trapped

I remember her tugging on me to let go, but I'm not done yet, no. She deserves more than what has happened to her, despite those weak emotions of hers. Phyllis was the better of us, the one who fought for her child and could control that rage. I could just imagine her now after all of this, instead I'm the one who was slain by her spear, and she would still smile. For she was much stronger than me. I depended on others. Like Remie. Like id. Like superego. They were the ones I needed but instead she was dead when she could depend on herself. I have to make it look real though, don't I? They have to see me as the monster I am. The world has to understand me. I have to show that I am still me and not these other people.

I bend down to Phyllis, picking up three things that I will not be keeping for they are not mine to keep. I don't wish for a remembrance of this moment. I grab her water bottle, something simple and plain. I grab her laurel, those stupid things that the Navy girl has on her. And I finish with her token, her district's token. These are all the things that represent Phyllis and who she was, right? That's right, so says superego. and the person who needs them is Riker. I walk to him, show no emotion. This isn't the time or place. I can let these things ride on in District Ten. Back where I may be human.

“You... need these,” I say, keeping my voice as steady as possible. “I-I don't know how close you two got, and I don't gi-gi-give a horse's ass, but these should be yours.

I break away from him. In a few hours, I will be strong again. I'm sure. And I walk away to leave him with her. He will understand, right? I wasn't the only one in a nightmare, was I? This only means that things are getting worse by the minute. These emotions, the ones that Lydie gave me. They're evolving. Where are they coming from?

I turn to see Remie and Phyllis standing together, smiling toward me. She will haunt me from this day on, won't she?

[Puts on magical sandals]
[Takes Phyllis' Water Bottle]
[Gives Bottle to Riker]
[Will edit to make it rather dramatic]