Your Head's Only Medicine [Twitch Boys]

Even while I have my jacket on I'm shivering. The ratty blanket they allowed in the room did nothing to warm me, and I was wondering about digging out my other clothes and trying to put those on over the ones I already wore. It was freezing in my room, (though it was more like a cell in truth,) and I wished it wasn't. The room I viewed through my bangs, which had slid to cover my eyes while I lay on my side on the very thin mattress on a very stiff bed, was bare of almost everything. The only thing in here other than myself, the clothes I wore and had stashed under the mattress, the mattress I had mentioned and the iron bed it sat upon was a small bucket which was just in my vision. In it lay pieces of glass, the edges rounded so I wouldn't be able to cut anything until I broke the piece. (As though I was going to try slitting my wrists or throat with something I was addicted to.)

Even just looking at and thinking about the glass sparked me to grab a piece. Too cold and too lazy to get off of the bed to reach the bucket with more ease, I stretched an arm out toward it, managing to hook the edge of it with my fingers and pull it closer. Reaching inside I drew out one of the pieces of glass and sat up, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders as I sat cross-legged on the mattress. I brought the glass to my mouth and crunched it between my teeth, letting out a sigh of resignation and relief. As much as I loved the taste and texture of glass, I hated feeling like I was addicted to it. The cracking and crunching of the glass was the only sound I could hear, the taste of it filled my mouth and took over my concentration. It was like I was really doing drugs, except I doubt anyone else would get the same sense of relief from eating glass. (Pica really was an odd thing.)

I didn't know how long I just sat munching my glass, but I didn't really care. (Time didn't mean anything here.) Not real time anyway. There was meal time, (which was once a day,) stretch time, (where we got let out of our cages, cells, prisons rooms,) clean time, (where the nurses and their guards came into our rooms and tidied up what little they could; checking our "bathrooms" were not getting overfilled and the like,) shrink time, (where some psychology person came to talk to us,) and finally sleep time, (where we were told to go to bed.) I guessed that we would be having either clean time or shrink time soon, so I didn't bother putting too much effort into listening, or caring for that matter.

The sound of footsteps in the hallway woke me from the trance I had fallen under as I crunched my glass, making me blink more than usual. I heard voices, the opening of a door and then more voices. I wondered if perhaps it was stretch time. (Funny, I thought that was later today.) I waited to be let out, but the slam of a door (probably the same one that had opened) told me that my guess was wrong. However, it also told me that there was probably a new guy, or girl, in the wing. (Who knew their story, a new case or a promotion. Perhaps even a demotion from a higher wing.) I was curious about the person, but I'm sure I would find out about them at stretch time. It sounded like their room was near mine, but I couldn't be sure with the way things echoed in here. A jerk of my hands sent the little piece of glass in my hands careening toward the wall to fragment into a few smaller pieces. I was nervous about the new person too apparently, and now my eyelid twitched. I hated my Tourette's.

Grumbling, I reached into my bucket of glass and grabbed another piece of glass, glad that the piece had only been small so it wasn't quite as big of a waste. My eyelid still doing its stupid twitching thing, I chomped hard on the glass, my satisfaction as it gave way under my teeth relieving some of my irritation. As I chewed I flopped backward onto the bed, instantly turning on my side and curling up to try and heat myself up. (The heat really did suck in this place.) I nibbled at my snack, (like a hamster with a seed,) searching for any kind of noise that might hint at what our next activity might be. I heard the sound of doors being opened, one by one and gradually growing closer to where I was. (Seems that stretch time was now.) When they reached my door I didn't do anything more than turn so I could watch them open it, still huddled under my blankets. I continued to gnaw at the glass, glaring at the open door as I tried to think whether the space inside or outside of the door would be warmer.