Freedom isn't free (jack)

I've barely been home for two days enjoying the time with my kids and getting back into my normal life when a knock came on the door. It was that kind of hard, driven knock, that lets you know right away that you'd better answer fast or you're in trouble.
There they were: The uniformed men, who can instill more fear in me and my family than any ferocious beast beyond the fence will ever manage.
I thought I'd never see them at my doorstep again but here they are.
I know I've done nothing wrong, yet my gutt drops all the way down to my knees. Peace keepers at your door can only mean trouble.

Without so much as an explanation they ask my name and tell me that I'm under arrest for trespassing.
"But I've had paper work, I mean official permission for the trip to district 11." I object loudly while my mother appears behind me in the door frame.

The peace keepers don't give a damn about my objections but tell me to turn around and put my hands behind my back. I know better than to object or try and run away, so I only tell my mother to take good care of my children and tell Faith. I offer her a smile although I feel like crying and cursing.

Soon I get walked down the dirt road passed all of our neighbors houses into town with my hands tied behind my back like a criminal. I catch the odd movement behind the curtains.

After a long trip we reach the place I dread the most. The detention center. With its high unbreakable grey walls and the massive Iron gate. No man or woman has ever managed to escape.
I'm not stranger to this building. A lot of men will never see the light of day again but I did. Will I be this lucky a second time around? I sure hope so since all this is just a big mistake.

After being processed in I get pushed into a small, dark cell. It looks and feels just like the one I've been in before. Small, cold, dark with only a little light coming from some air holes in the wall.

Frozen I stand there when the iron gate closes behind me and stare ahead into the darkness but a second later I whirl around, wrap both hands around the bars and yell. "Stop, wait, I need to talk to somebody. This is a mix up. Please, let me talk to the person in charge!"
There's no cracking in my voice, no desperation, not like last time, at least not yet.

For a while I wait and holler but of course nothing happens. Just like last time nobody tells me what I've done wrong so I can only hope that I'm here for my recent trip to district 11.
It could get much worse but I won't allow myself to think that way.

Finally I turn around to look at the small cell with the shelf that serves as bed and the sink. only then do I notice that there is somebody else in here. The guy has been so quiet that I wasn't even aware of my company.
I squint at the darkness and ask. "Hello? I'm sorry. I didn't notice you."

Judging by his posture the young guy is scared shitless, which I can't blame him for. I'm pretty shaken up myself. My hands are sweaty and my heart is racing.

Taking a few steps towards him I see a few tears glistening in the bit of lights that's coming in.
Obviously he's overwhelmed by fear, which makes him less dangerous for me. He's probably just another victim of the system.

Slowly I sit down on the bed and groan. "How long have you been in this hole?"

As if this place wasn't bad enough the guy in here with me shrugs me off like I was some fly. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me because he's too shaken up. I can see him start crying again and can't help but sigh. "Oh my."
He's the kind of guy they can break so easily. He's basically already done before they lay a hand on him. Who knows, maybe they already did.
His hands start trembling. For some reason this pathetic looking kid makes me want to scream and at the same time I feel sorry for him.
"C'mon, man. pull yourself together."
I try to give him some edge, which he clearly doesn't have.
Then I notice the helpless gestures and looks that i can barely make out in the half-dark.
"What? Are you not going to talk to me? Have they forbidden you to talk to me?"
I confused and most of all upset, angry...because they took me from my family with no right whatsoever.

So I return to the bars to see whether I can see or hear a guard.
"I want to talk to someone!" I holler again as if anybody here would care.

My attempts to get anybodys attention are in vain, just like last time I was here so I resort to pacing the floor for a good five minutes.

Slowly the adrenalin is wearing off and I relax a little and get used to the idea that this might not be a mistake. Maybe they want me here. After all me and my family have given the capitol quite a run for their money. Maybe this time I won't be set free after a week or two.

I try to brush that thought off and get my mind off it by walking over to the other guy and trying to talk to him.
"I'm Jack."
I offer him my hand.
Of course I noticed the way he was struggling and shaking his head instead of answering. Before I was too preoccupied with myself to put two and two together but now I do.
It reminds me too much of Devroux to go unnoticed.
"Are you an avox?" I wonder. The walls here have ears so I don't let him know that a close friend of mine is an avox, who ran away.
"Can't talk? Just nod or shake your head."

Why on earth he can't talk and not be an avox is beyond my grasp but it doesn't matter. I doubt he'd be playing games with me in a situation like this.
The kid barely dares to look at me. Maybe I need to make it clear to him that I'm not the thread. The ones out there are.
"You've not been here very long, have you? I've been here before. It's hell but we'll get through it!"
My eyes try to find his but he doesn't look at me, so I try a different approach.

"I have a friend like you. I'm not trying to intrude into your personal space but ..what's your name?"
I hold out my flat hand with my palm up and explain. "Write it in my hand slowly letter by letter. I'll understand."
Patiently I stand and wait for him to accept my proposition and encourage him.
"Gp ahead and try."
For some reason this weird kid is probably my best shot to keep my sanity. In here we have to get along and at least he can't get on my nerves or insult me. Plus he looks so damn scared that he wakens my fatherly instincts.

I can tell that the young man is very weary of me. He has no reason to trust me, nor is he in a place that helps a friendly conversation so I don't blame him. Doybtfully he tries writing the letters into my hand using his index finger and I spell them out one by one. "X Y L A N...Xylan? I've never heard that name before."
It's clear now that he can't speak but he claims to be no avox, which I find bewildering.
Holding out my hand I let im know. "Whatever you want to say to me, write it into my hand, okay?"

"How long have you been here and why?" I guess I'm being very bold but what do I care about formalities. They can all kiss my ass. I don't belong here and just like last time I won't let them break me although I must admit that last stay her left a deep scar that I will most likely bare for good. The screaming, the darkness, never knowing what's going to happen, whether you'd get whipped or shot. It's tough on the mind.
"I'm not even sure why I'm here. I think it's a mistake because I didn't do a damn thing."
Getting a little more desperate I run my hand over my face and start pacing the floor.

The minutes go by, hours go by and nothing is spoken between us. We have both gone to follow our own thoughts laying on that very uncomfortable bunk.
For days I've been out on that cattle drive to district 11 thinking that the only thing that could happen to me was some wild creature attacking us. In the end it was actually I guy trying to rob us who has left me with a nice shiner and a couple more bruises. Was it him I was here for? Because I let that scrawny kid go and didn't report him? He was starving for crying out loud. How could I not have any mercy? I really wish I knew why the reunion with my kids only lasted a few hours.

My guess is that the peace keepers weren't informed that Brian and I had official papers that allowed us the trip.

It doesn't make being whisked away from my family any better, even if I know that they'll get by without me.
I wish I could have spend time with Faith and told her how I actually feel about her, like I had planned. Now I don't even know whether she'll ever find out.

Sighing in desperation I close my eyes. It's almost pitch black in the cell now so staying awake makes no sense. Then I fall into an uneasy sleep accompanied but the odd scream, groan and crying somewhere down the hall.