Sitka Lavena-Centaura 13 Done

Sitka Marie Lavena-Centaura

I remember tears streamin down your face
when I said I'll never let you go
when all those shadows almost killed your light

{8 years ago}

I always knew my parents weren't quite right in the head. What other parent locks their children in a small room for days without food or water? What parent torments their children with sharp things? I cry out in dismay as dad locks the door to my shared room from the outside, locking me and my two older siblings inside. My older sister Moth pounds on the door. "Daddy, don't leave us here" she pleads. I hear my fathers laughter on the other side of the door and I curl up on the huge bed we've made in the center of the room. My small hands pull my knees to my stomach as Moth gives up and comes to sit next to me. "Hawk, stop pacing, you're making me nervous" Moth says to my older brother who's pacing the room without stopping. He stops and looks at the two of us, the glazed look in his eyes frightens me and I curl against Moth. She puts her arms around me like I imagine a mother would and we sit there in silence.

I remember you said
don't leave me here alone
but all that's dead and gone and past tonight

As I lie in the bed, squished between Hawk and Moth, I can hear the rustling of rats behind the walls and the sounds disconcert me. I feel a chill run up my spine as I hear them scamper across the cold bare floor and curl closer to Hawk. He's my guardian, my protector when I'm scared. "Hawk, I'm scared of the mice" I say. He rolls over so that he's looking at me. "Don't worry, Sitka, you'll be alright" he says soothingly. I nod, my eyelids heavy and I slip softly into unconsciousness.

Just close your eyes
the sun is going down
you'll be alright
no one can hurt you now
come morning light
you and I'll be safe and sound

I open my eyes to find the room mostly dark apart from the pale, thin beam of light that shines through the tiny window. My stomach growls but I remind myself that there could be no food for a while. I've gone almost a week without food so a few days I can handle. Getting out of bed, though, is hell. I feel so dizzy and lie back, daydreaming about the food we will hopefully have when this is all over. That is how it works here, we go for a while without food then when dad finally unlocks the door, we feast on anything we have in the house. I look for my siblings and see them still asleep. I need to sleep I tell myself this but it's easier said than done. I can't shut off my mind because I'm hungry and I need to go to the bathroom. Thankfully, our parents aren't cruel enough to not instal a bathroom. I get up shakily and walk over to bathroom, relieving myself before going back to bed.

Don't you dare
look out your window
darlin everything's on fire

It's almost four days before dad comes and unlocks the door. By this time, I shake like a leaf and I'm weak. He leads us into the kitchen and my mouth waters as I see the food in front of us. It doesn't take long for all of it to be gone. Feeling full, I wander back to our room. I sit on the cold ground, allowing myself to enjoy the sensation of a full stomach before suddenly, I hear a scream. it's Moth. I sit bolt upright and run down the hallway to the kitchen. My sister cowers before dad, who's got a knife raised. What happens next, I never want to see again. He cuts my sister, hundreds of times. Blood spatters on the bare ground like flowers against the desolate background and all i can hear are my sisters screams for him to stop. I hear Hawk yelling at dad but all that does is make dad even angrier. He continues hacking at my bloodied sister and I feel silent tears drip down my face. Hawk hurries me into the room and he gets out two back packs. One he tosses to me the other he starts filling with his things. "Hawk, where are we going?" I ask, frightened. He hugs me tightly to him, smoothing my hair. "somewhere far from here" he replies. I nod and pack my things.

Hold on
to this
Lullaby
even when the musics
Gone

We leave in the middle of the night, silent as the mice that scurry across the floor of our room and slip out into the district. I haven't seen much of it, most of my childhood has been spent in that wretched room. It's beautiful but Hawk and I both know we can't stay here. We have to leave the district to be safe from dad. He leads me to the fence and shows me a spot where the fence is never activated. We slip under it, him helping me shimmy under it into freedom. "Now what?" I ask, looking at him with my green eyes. "You've heard of district thirteen right?" he asks. I nod. "That's where we're going, hopefully, the people there will help us" he says. I nod and follow him into the forest.

Just close your eyes
the sun is goin down

{Present}

I stare into the mirror, my reflection not one I really want to see. My hair is ashen blonde, a trait from mom who is no doubt dead. I know dad killed her, just like he killed Moth. The hair reminds me too much of her. I want to cut it all off, let the memories fall away and tossed into the trash where it belongs. Hawk would kill me if I do that though. I know why, it's because I remind him of Moth and Moth wore her hair long so in order to keep the memory of her alive, I wear my hair long. It's almost down to my waist, which was where Moth grew hers to. I meet my often glazed green eyes in the reflection and a sad smile plays at the edges of my pale lips. I miss Moth, everyday her death haunts my dreams, taunting me and making me feel powerless because I couldn't do anything to stop dad from killing her. I turn away from the mirror, staring at the wall as images from that day play through my head over and over again.

You'll be alright
no one can hurt you now

I wander into the dining hall and find the place almost completely deserted. I wear my hair up, keeping it out of my elf-like face, and walk over to where a friend of mine sits. Lucille looks up at me, her dark eyes looking at me with an intelligence that always surprises me. "Hey, Sitka" she says cheerfully. I smile, grateful for a distraction from my dark thoughts. I sit across from her and listen to her mindless chatter, trying to keep my mind focused on her but it soon wanders back to that day. Focus, Si I tell myself, tuning back in.

Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

My delicate hands trace along the stone walls of home, my fingers tracing the small details that make each tunnel different. I allow my thoughts to wander and instantly wish I didn't. The images come flooding back to me, making my eyes fill with tears. I can't do this for much longer, I can't push them away for much longer. I bury my face in my hands, ignoring the schedule on my arm, I know I'll pay for it later though. Probably extra duties either in the kitchen or extra training. I hear footsteps, my sense of hearing sharper than most, and I see Hawk walking towards me. He takes one look at my face and hugs me to him. "hey, are you okay Si?" he asks, looking down at me. I feel the tears fall down my face as the images flash past my eyes. I hate the memories, of Moth, the terrified look on her face as dad slashed at her. I cry against him for a little while before calming down and going into my assigned room. I fall asleep, not caring about what my schedule says.

Just close your eyes
you'll be alright
come morning light
you and I'll be safe and sound

Notes:Done
Codeword: odair
Other: Nope