my [biggest] r e g r e t s // lalia

OPENING CEREMONIESSSSSS~

Wheeeeeeeeee omgosh I <3 teh opening ceremonies! Everything is so shiny and flashy and sparkly and glitzy and blinged out and theatrical and funnn. Okay, so it's not as good as THE CIRCUS, but let's be real sugardimples, what is? Awww, it's such a good try though, Capitol. You're doing so well, your mommy must just be so proud. I am so sorry to have showed you up justtttt aaaaa littleeeee bitttttt, I just cannot help it, scandalous tiger fur dresses with sharp nom nom rawrrrrr tooth buttons is just how I roll. MY BAD, BUT DON'T I LOOK FAB. My cute lil kitty cat and I match so well tonight, he's just such an icklewicklesugarplumsweetheart. Meow meow. Yes he is, oh, yes he—

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANNOT TAKE MY ICKLE WICKLE SUGARPLUM SWEETHEART KITTY CAT WITH ME HERE? DON'T YOU KNOW WHO ARBOR HALT IS, MR. PK?! I mean, gosh, seriously. Whyyyyyy would Arbor not be allowed to attend the opening ceremonies? That's. Just. Silly. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE. Pretty kitty knows who he is. Pretty kitty is Arbor Halt. BETTA RECOGNIZE. Now if you'll just excuse us, Mr. PK, Arbor and I have things to do. Awwwww, don't roar and snap your teeth kitty cat meow meow at the confused man, Arbor, he just didn't know. PEACE OUT, YOU SILLY PK.

Oh why hello there sir. Good golly gosh gee willikers Arbor and I are popular tonight. Now, ofc I see where you're coming from, if I were you, I would desperately want to talk to me too, but WOE IS YOUR LIFE I have a zombie boy toy already and you just look a little boring in comparison, tbh, maybe you should do a little something with your hair or —

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? OH. OH, I'M FABULOUS YOU SAY? WHY YES I AM, THANK YOU THANK YOU. YES, PLEASE KEEP TELLING ME ALL ABOUT HOW SPECTACULAR MY GAMES WERE. OHHHH, YES SWORD SWALLOWING AND FIRE BREATHING AND KILLER BUTTERFLIES AND FOOT ARCHERY AND BATTLES IN MIDAIR. I KNOW, I KNOW, I DO GIVE MY TRIBUTES AN AWFUL LOT TO LIVE UP TO.

~~~~~HURR FLIP, BITCHES, YOU ARE NOW BLINDED BY MY GLORY~~~~~

Or I'm blinded, whatever, same thing. Either way, my glory is still blinding.

Ohhhh, well, I suppose my Tributes have a little bit of potential too. They are mine after all, even if they haven't quite been able to grasp the importance of being able to hold a knife with their toes yet. WORKING ON IT. SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME. There's really not much to see with them yet, butttt I guessssss something could be arranged. I'm obv not your favorite Victor for nothing. PRETTY KITTY ARBOR AND I RUN THIS TOWN, TBH. Even if my itty bitty tribbies aren't much to look at, at least you would get a little more insight into my training, ohhhhh, how fabulous for you. WELL OKAY THEN, LET'S DO THE THING.

...Beatrice tho? Ohhhhhh, well, I do question your taste in violent murder machines, but to each their own.

TIME SKIPPPPPPPPP.

Cricket answers the door in her usual corset/underwear pretty much because that's real clothing to her what are you talking about why is this unacceptable why are you looking at me funny OH I GET IT YOU MUST JUST BE DAZZLED. 'S cool. Except her stodgy escort seems to disagree and throws pants at her. ABSOLUTELY NOT I WILL SPEND THE NEXT THREE MONTHS WEARING NOTHING BUT GOLD BODY PAINT IF YOU ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME WEAR FULL LENGTH PANTS. MEOWWWWW CAT FIGHT.

Cricket's just staring at her escort like "do you not know how this works yet? GURLLLLLL, I DO WHAT I WANT. I'M MORE THAN A MAN I'M A GOD, BITCH TOUCHÉ EN GARDE" Casually plops herself down in an overstuffed armchair in the living area like it's a throne as the escort tosses clothes at her in frustration and she waves them off like pesky flies. Vinnie invites himself in at some point, but she's not really paying attention to him right now. Her tiger wanders over, lies down at her feet like an overgrown house cat, and starts idly chewing on one of the dresses laying on the ground, batting it around with his gigantic fluffy paws and purring happily over his fun new game. NOM NOM NOM COLLARD GREENS?

THIS MIGHT TAKE A MINUTE. THERE'S CHAMPAGNE IN THE KITCHEN IF YOU WOULD LIKE A DRINK WHILE YOU WAIT.