Speechless [Cassie/Shadow Day 3]

well you only need the light when it’s burning low
only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Now was not the time to hold back and be afraid. If I got stuck here, to this, we were both completely vulnerable (I mean we already were pretty vulnerable but this would make it even worse). I made the motion once again, trying to get him to understand this had to be done, no matter how much he didn’t want to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to do this either, but do we really have another choice? No, but if I was overlooking some alternate route that could’ve prevented what was about to happen, I would most likely be pretty angry. Not that I’d be able to say anything about it of course. The realization just hit me I wouldn’t be able to talk, even though I hadn’t really said much. What would we do? Grunt? Write in the dirt like little kids? Oh wait.

What would Cole think of me right now? “That’s my sister! The one stuck to the ice cube!” Yeah, not so much. He’d probably be shaking his head in disappointment, while everyone else around was laughing. Laughing at the girl who was too ignorant to not know where to stop. But they had reason to laugh, since I probably looked quite stupid. If I got off of this thing, and made it through this day that had lasted far too long already, I would try to make my brother proud. I would try to make my parents proud too, even though they really didn’t care, and probably didn’t even know what was going on. Were they even watching? Had they even cared when I got sent into this whole mess?

What were we doing here? Fighting to live one more day, just another twenty four hours and wishing that someone else will die, that another cannon would be heard. But why? What were we living for? Human nature. All we want is to survive, even if we say we don’t want to live. So because of that pathetic thing called human nature, I tried my best to plead with Shadow, begging and hoping that he would figure out this was the best thing to do. The only thing to do, really. If I wasn’t stuck to a giant ice cube at this point, I would’ve just walked over, picked him up, and sat him down beside me. So naturally, I did the next best thing, I motioned at him to come over, so that maybe, just maybe, he would see there was nothing else that could be done.

only know you you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

well you only need the light when it’s burning low
only miss the sun when it starts to snow

The pain that immediately flared through my body was almost more than I could take. Don’t scream, you can’t scream. It took all of my power and control to not cry out in pain, but even then I realized, I really couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to speak and I wouldn’t be able to scream, and that terrified me more than just the pain. Had I really just spoken my last words? I felt the blood rushing into my mouth, and not having anything to do with it, I spit it onto the ice by my feet. I tried to swallow to rid myself of the taste of blood, but that only hurt and made the taste worse. I looked to Shadow, who honestly looked more petrified and hurt than I did, and at that point, the only thing to do was hold my arms out and hope for a hug.

Luckily, he had no problem with the idea, and for once, I did feel comfort. It was the type of comfort that was small, warm, and most of all loving. His embrace was so light against my body that it was almost hard to tell he was there, but I knew he was. The last time I had felt the embrace of a hug was back home, with Cole, when he told me he would carry me through this. Would he still want to carry me now; his broken, beaten sister who was now clinging to a boy she had known for a few weeks? I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to. I wouldn’t want to.

So we just stood there, holding onto each other, and hoping that no one would find us. We had to stay low and out of the way if we wanted the chance to make it much further. I finally let go, and put my hands on his sword, trying my best to ask him if I could use it for a moment. He didn’t make any moves to stop me, so I took it from him and (watching my step this time) made my way back over to where I had just stood a moment ago and looked at the tongue, my tongue, that was still attached to it. I lined up the sword and cut quickly, taking off a thin sheet of ice with the tongue, and watched as it fell to the ground. I looked at it for a moment before quickly picking it up and putting it into my bag. Maybe it will come in handy or something.

[uses Shadow’s sword to cut tongue off of ice cube and then gives sword back to him]
[picks up tongue]

only know you you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
only hate the road when you’re missin’ home