Kimia Bison D5 done

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself
I need to get around this
My words are cold

There is nothing good about this world, nothing to be proud of. Ripred just uses us like slaves, hell Snow uses us like slaves. He lest's us do all the dirty work for him and his capital resedince. He lest's us sit around the whole day working so we can feed him and his freinds, but what about us? Does anybody ever think about us? Does anybody ever think that maybe we need to eat as well? No, never, the capital hates us and just uses us for their expenses. They never have to send children in the games now do they? They never have to do any dirty work? They get to sit around letting themselves have tattoos's and what not.

Why don't we get any luxuries? Why do I have to go to school and work, to survive, why is my life so screwed up? Can anyone tell me, what I did to deserve this? No, noone can tell me that, because I don't. Somedays I just scream at the sky wishing to die and wishing to get out of this god dammed hell hole once and for all. I am sick and tired of living my life as a slave, because I don't deserve it, the only one who does is Snow and the game makers. They are the reason that we are suffering from all this pain. The pain of a hard worker that get's little money. The pain of a homeless child in 12. The pain of a single mother who has to do unthinkable things to keep her daughter alive.

Living in 5 is not supposed to be so bad, but my mother had to struggel through everything to keep me going to keep me walking. I was not supposed to be born, my mom was only 15 when she had me. Her parents coming from a very low class, she had almost nothing and sold her body to someone and well she had me. She tells me all the time, that I am the only thing she doesn't regret having. I guess I should be happy about that, but how can I when she taught me that the only way to get rid of this misery is to hate everything else. Hate the capital with your life, hate the stuff we have to do for them, and if I have the chance, make them pay for putting us in this misery. She told me that if I have the chance, that I should never let it go.

My mother died last year, right before the games, and I was sort of homeless for a while. She died of a sickness, and she told me on her dying bed that I resembled her so much, in both looks and personalty. She told me that I am able to understand the hate that she has felt her whole life. I did understand it and I was never going to forgett it or let anyone take it away from me, I am going to keep it close to my heart. I will keep her memory and her hate, which will make mine stronger and maybe one day I will have the chance to destroy Snow, for me and for her. She is the only reason I want to keep walking on this earth, I was for a while in a sort of rehab, for people that are a danger to themselves. I used to cut myself, but I stopped, because it isn't going to help me get revenge for everything that the capital took away from me.

I live with my dad now, in a household a bit richer than the one I came from, shit who am I trying to fool, it is much more richer than the one I came from. I live with my half siblings now, my mom wasn't the only one that had an affair with him, and the shok on my face was priceless, something that will never happen again, when I found out that I had so many half sisters and brothers. Before it was only me and my mother, no one else. Suddenly I was placed in a house with a whole bunch of other people, that were my family. I never wanted a family, and I never wil want one, but I have one, but it doesn't mean I will love them. Actuly I hate them, because they proabably all have had a better life than I ever will have, but who cares, when the time comes I will have a stronger will. I will be able to use my hatred angains them and I will, be able to complete my mothers work, the only reason why I still live.

My mom told me when I turned 13, that I can't let my looks get ahead of me. That I have to stay strong, and not turn self-centerd. She told me that looks can lead on astray, they can turn one into a monster. She said I looked like an angel, with my thick brown hair that ran down my back. I hated my hair it took forever to keep clean and to dry, I often got sick because I left parts of it wet. I hate every part of me, my dark eyes, make me look scary. My thick eyebrows are plain disgusting and they have to be tamed. I always have to stand infront of a mirror making sure they don't grow together. My skin is somewhat a carmel color, which makes me feel like I am a type of candy. I am not sweet and I am not a candy. When I run my hands on my skin, it feels so soft and vunerable, so easy to break and tear apart. It feels as if I could rip open my skina naytime I want, and have my dark blood flow over it.


Smiling, makes people feel as if your happy, are you happy? She asked me this question very often as a little kid and I would shake my head, of course I wasn't happy, how could anyone be happy with this type of life? Some people are, but they are all idiots. People that need to get slapped in the face by reality and wake up from their sick dream of a good life. Have they seen the games on tv? Have they seen how kids are forced to kill, have they seen the last games, where my own half-brother's tounge was cut out? I never knew him, and I probably wouldn't have liked him either. I just needed him as an example to set my anger on fire. I was ready to use him, act as if I cared about him, to get my way, to show them that we live in misery, that where we are is already hell, we don't need to die to get there.





Lyrics: take me away by Avril Lavinge
Wordcount: 1150
Plot: Bison family
FC: Luccia Cafiero