purposeless? {greenbeads} // blitz

One of my favorite hobbies is avoiding any kind of work possible. I should be on trash clean up duty right now but you what? A man's got better things to do then clean up other people's messes! I don't even clean up my own messes. Taking a corner I stop in my tracks, eyes sliding over the girl sitting on a bench before me. She was gorgeous little thing, brown hair, big eyes and man what a figure. Well, what I could see of it with her sitting down and all.

The girl suddenly threw a book looking thing onto the floor screaming "Fuck this" well that is my cue. Walking up in front of her, I kneel down so that I'm closer to her level. After offering the girl my hand I set my mouth into the most charming grin I can muster. "Don't mind if I do," punctuate with an eyebrow wiggle and scene.

It never is easy is it? Why can't a girl just fall into his arms at least once? Geez, what was with these District Thirteen ladies. I heard tale of District Six skirt that sooner lift them up than say hi. Now that is something a man could get used to.

"Now wait I'm confused- are you asking what fucking is? Or what kind of fucking you would like to do with me? Because I have a short pamphlet for each one in my room if you follow me," I say, slipping an arm around the girl's shoulders and try to steer her down the hallway. I always have to lie about things, why can't they see that my personality is just so fabulous? Also I could, for sure, steal them oysters from the kitchen. I must be in the top three of most eligible district thirteen bachelors.

At least she was honest about it. Now this right here is the dream girl I've been looking for my whole life- the kind that gives you specific instructions how to get into their pants. Fairly easy ones too. This here must be a queen or something. She bends over to pick up her journal and, as per usual, I take the opportunity to check out the queen's lands.

"You know, that can be arranged. I work in the kitchens and it wouldn't be too hard to slip a bottle of spirits off a shelf," suddenly the thought of getting what I have striven for fruitlessly for years seems almost odd. Shouldn't she be slapping me or something? Or screaming, that's what the others do.

I can't help it, my jaw drops. Despite her rough wording, it was an acceptance no less. Oh god, am I nervous? Oh yeah, I'm sweating. Palms wet, brow shiny oh no oh no oh no.

"Well, um, right this was ma'am," I say, swallowing hard. Leading the girl to my room I fumble with the key before getting it into the lock. I've never made it this far before, what do I even do? Oh god, this is probably a terrible time to admit I've never actually... done the do, if you catch my drift. Oh god I'm gonna die.

Once we get in my room I manage to knock almost everything off a shelf trying to reach the bottle of liquor I hide up there. Once I had the glass in my very sweaty fingers, I passed it to the girl.

"Uhh I'm Will, by the way and you are?"

I wonder if I have enough time to look up "how to sex" in a book while she's drinking all my alcohol.

Anymore? That was quite a lot of spirits for even me and now she's downed it all? This girl is a heavy weight. Still, I'm unsure what to do with myself. There are all kinds of butterflies in my stomach and I can feel the heat on my cheeks.

"Tyler? Oh, that's pretty. My brother was named Tyler... I think," come one Will, having a girl in your room is the single thing you have worked for during the last few years and now you're gonna go and screw it all up?

No. I am a man. A grown man who can... can do the do just like any other man.

"Alright, Tyler prepare yourself for 'Kachoo' Denton," I don't think I meant to say that out loud and I don't really move after I say it. Just a tiny half baby step towards the bed Tyler is sitting on and then maybe a millimeter after that step.

Finally get a chance to touch some boobies and I chicken out.

Oh no oh nooooo she caught on. This girl is like a wild dog- they smell fear. Swallowing hard, I find myself scratching the back of my neck. Come on, you can cover this up Will. You're a wordsmith, a genuine god of sex and faking it.

"Done this before? You mean the sex? HA Of course I have hahaha, I mean I'm a pro. Eleven out of ten points, if ya know what I mean," perfect, now for the actually doing of things. Should probably kiss her first, or tenderly caress her face? They do that in the novels, don't they?

Taking a deep breath I, Will "Kachoo" Denton, fling myself across the bed and Tyler eyes closed, lips pursed ready to get my freak on.

Oh god she slapped me. Did I do something wrong? Usually people tell me I go too fast and now she's telling me I'm going too slow? NO ONE IS EVER HAPPY. While the slap's impact is still stinging my cheek, Tyler grabs my shirt and suddenly we're kissing. Like real kissing. Like I think I feel tongue. Oh my God I'm kissing a girl. A girl with the same name as my brother, but still a girl. My lips feel all tingling and I can't feel my kneecaps. Suddenly we're apart and I'm trying to suck in air that I was able to breathe during the infinity it felt like while we were kissing.

What do I do know? Do I take off my clothes? Her clothes? You know what, I'm going with my gut on this. So I take both my hands and placed them right on top of Tyler's breasts.

"Hehe, boobs."