it's clear someones gotta go||Pogue

"Oh, no"

I try to pull my wrist free as Aurora drags me along towards the hand-to-hand combat station, my feet pushing against her pull slightly and me myself trying to wrench out of her grasp.

Damn, she was actually stronger than I would have guessed.

I'd discovered things about myself in such short time at this place, this luxury filled and wondrous place that housed 24 children, all waiting, training to be put into an arena in which most would die. I'd learned so much about myself. I'd learned that trapping was most definitely not something I was good at (the amount of times i'd nearly chopped my finger off with some trap at the station was terrifying). I'd learned that I was both horrible and great at sword fighting. I struggled to even get in the correct stance, and it had taken me several hours to even learn how to hold the sword the right way. But yet, I had continued to win most of my spars with the teacher, due in part to the fact that I could just swing a sword really, really fucking hard. I'd learned that I had a knack for first-aid, something I was proud of myself for learning. It would come in handy, hopefully.

I'd learned that I could actually be social.

In District Ten, I was a complete asshole. My main skill had been ignoring others (If that could be shown off to the gamemakers I probably would have gotten a perfect score). And yet, this artificially lit and sweet smelling Capitol building had taught- forced me to be more social, to talk to others because I needed a chance at survival. I needed to mot only gain their trust, but I had to keep it. I needed allies, I needed people to help me get my life back.

But yet, it seemed that it hadn't just taught me things, but it had brought forth new traits in myself, ones that I didn't like. My eyes stare down at Aurora's hand as it locks around my wrist, the girl refusing to let go even though I was obviously trying to make her. Touch No one had ever laid hands on me, never grabbed my wrist except for my mother, and I hated it.

When we finally reach the station and she let's go, I immediately snap my arm back, tightening it into a fist. "She wants a punch, i'll give her a god damn punch." And then she speaks, with a fake child's voice and standing on her toes as if she's trying to weasel something out of me.

Home.

Thats what it reminds me of. Home, my family, my sisters. Anna would always do the "baby voice", as our family called it. She'd do exactly what Aurora had just done and i'd tell her to stop, i'd dismiss her with a wave of the hand. And yet it still cut deep in me when Aurora had done that, enough to make my eyes falter and drop to the ground, to make me slowly un tighten my fist and stare at Aurora with blank eyes. I used to tell myself I wouldn't die for my siblings, for my family, now I wasn't so sure.

After a quick sigh I speak. "Fine, okay. You want to hold your fist like this. Thumb out. No, out... Here, like this. See?" I make an example of what she should be doing out of my own fist, showing her.