Alec Costello District 4 FIN

The Auto Biography of Alec Costello

(not really just my journal so STAY OUT)

002329 - Narration
002913 - Thoughts
002921 - Other's
00282A - Self
002B18 - Lyrics

Gender Male

Age 18

Thursday July 24, Year of the 66th Hunger Games

I begin to write this upon the soft yellow and brown sands of District 4, my average fingers stroking the rattled pages of my journal. The sky is a kaleidoscope of such warm colors with the pinks, and oranges and reds, mixed in with the cool purple as the day turns to twilight. I wear sunglasses that protect my dark, soil colored eyes as I lay under the shade of a nearby cliff wearing only a pair of navy blue swim trunks and a loose white shirt with a plunging neck line that reveals the top on my well-muscled chest. My 6’1” frame lies out in the sand in its entirety as long, muscular arms sprawl out towards my journal; my pencil lays lazily in my hand while my toned legs swim in the sand. I begin to ponder the day as I write my first sentences. Usually my face is so deep in a book that I tend to miss out on the events of the day; it’s a joke that my nose is bent down because of all the reading that I partake in.

The side of my face lies in the sand as my abnormally large forehead rests upon my still unwritten pages of my journal. My almond shape eyes glare out over the ocean, which I never tended to enjoy. I know that I am lucky to be in the District that has the ocean but I don’t like knowing what’s on the other side. There could other land formations, maybe a different continent. Maybe there could be a whole other country with its own culture and we just don’t know it! I spring up at the thought of a new world out there, revealing my face to the hastily sinking sun. The light hits my cheekbones, making them appear high on my face, which they already are and the fading sunlight reveals my angular jawline. To go where no man in Panem has gone before, oh the adventures I would have! I think to myself, a grin dancing across my normal lips. Oh the fantasy of it all reals me in.

It would be just like one of my books, a strapping, courageous young lad goes off, facing his fear of the unknown worlds beyond home. Along the way he meets many new friends, some enticing vixens and wolves to tempt him from his path of new discovery and eventually finds the home he was looking for in a peaceful new world. “Oh how romantic it will be”, I whisper to myself, “only to come back to this distasteful reality.” I despise the situation that I currently reside in, left parentless since a young age, forcing four children to fend for themselves. “How could you be so fucking selfish?!” I scream in anger as I throw a handful of sand into the blue undulating abyss. The answer will never come, they’ll return to answer it, my so called parents. We all used to be happy once, my parents and my family. The six of us used to have fun we used to do so much that the normal families of Four did, and yet they left.

Why did you leave us?

The tears roll down my face as the silent question rolls around in my head. I can’t think about it for much longer or else I’ll lose it, so I turn back to my fantasies. They’re my favorite escape, and perhaps the least exhausting, working out takes a toll on you. At least that’s what I tell myself every day, better than getting high or sitting in a deep depression. I can’t help but look at my surroundings and wonder why they can’t be like the ones in my head. They are far more enticing and much more vivid than the dreary, bland world like I live in. It’s so… disappointing, even the Games which are supposed to be such “marvelous spectacles for the glory of Panem” are entirely fake. One can easily see that everything that they do is a replica, no matter how hard they try to change our sad world, they can’t, and no one can.

I collapse onto the sand, exhausted as the onslaught of tears continues. They’re hard to stop them once they start, but I can’t say no to a good cry every now and then. It’s a nice release of emotions; I can’t bottle them up forever. See unlike most people I find, I’m not afraid to show my emotions, how I feel. What’s the point of keeping them locked away in some tiny little box only to have it explode on you like Pandora’s own box. It would be bad to have everything spilled out at once. As I sit here on ponder at just the meaning of life, because why not, I start laugh at myself for even thinking that I could go somewhere else, I would be too afraid to. As much as I hate this place, I can’t imagine life without my brothers and sister. They’re the only ones who understand what I’ve been through and they understand me. As much as we squabble I will always love them, and I don’t I can handle losing one of them. And I begin slipping into another fantasy.

I realize though that today however, I was actually needed in reality, which is always an unfortunate thing. It is to be a “family dinner night” which always is an interesting sight and is to begin at just before nightfall. As I no longer have any parents to call for me, since they left us at a young age, I have to teach myself these things. I’m usually always late for dinner and I usually never say word that is any verbal words. I haven’t spoken much to anyone since my parents left, I sometimes forget the sound of my own voice, which is perfectly fine by me, or at least I tell myself that. I would rather Sign more than anything, and I’ve had plenty of practice for my sister Avalon is deaf, had been since she was born. I grab my journal and pencil and walk up the sandy beach towards our seaside abode.

I mentioned earlier that I was a part of a set of quadruplets; however we always set out five table settings. We gained a surrogate younger brother not too long ago, actually I don’t fully remember when he came. I was probably too busy reading to escape my emotionally destitute reality. Stallion will always be a valid member of our family though, even if he doesn’t share a last name, he has had a similar experience to us. His parents are out lost at sea, which means they could be anywhere or in any situation. So he can easily relate, he’s been an easy addition to our family.

I am yet again late yet the last person before me just sat down. I put down my possessions on the stairs and join my siblings for dinner and again I eat in silence. Silence like the word upon our parent’s search, silence about the past, yet he prefers it that way. It took time to adjust without parents to show them the way, to help guide them and to make them better people. There have been times when Alec needed his parents help, but it has made the bond between siblings stronger throughout the years. Even though they are all screwed up, at least they’re screwed up together.

(ooc- odair)