{Nami Shivers} district six // done

N A M I  S H I V E R S
( S H Y - V E R S )

I am fragile and thin. My bones show through my skin and they are weak. With a thin face that ends in a slightly pointy chin, my cheek bones lay higher up towards my eyes. My eyebrows are straight with hints of hair in-between them, creating a soft unibrow. I never cared enough to take care of that, you can hardly see it anyways unless you're up close. And I don't really let people that close nowadays. My arms and legs are scarred and I still don't know where they came from, no matter how many times the doctor asks. The orphanage really took its toll on me, leaving me even thinner than the average thirteen year old from district six. 

My teeth are a bit crooked and stick outwards. I've always tried my best to not smile where my teeth show but it's difficult when some of the nurses here are pretty funny. Here at the hospital, I only rotate between the gowns they provide me with but if I had the choice, I'd wear something green. I've always been happiest around green things. I asked for a green hospital gown but they informed me that the gowns only came in one color, grey. My hair used to be long, you know? It would flow down my back and was almost long enough to reach my rear end. I loved passing the time by twirling my hair into long braids. But one day, I woke up and it was all gone. Now it barely touches my shoulders and only just grazes my ears on the sides. It was butchered for sure, but the nurses and doctors tried to convince me that I had done it myself. I would never, I'd tell them, I loved my hair. They just silently shook their heads and left the room. It killed me thinking that this event confirmed their thoughts that I belonged here. But I don't belong here. 

Personality:

I like to think that I am friendly and kind. But the way the nurses and other patients look at me, I fear I am wrong. I do my best to treat everyone with respect but I can't help but feel them harboring a secret hate for me. What could I have done wrong to them? I don't even know why I'm here. These scars on my arms and legs weren't self inflicted like they say, I'm not crazy. I'm not. But no matter how I beg and plead for the doctors to just let me out of here they just refuse, telling me I'm still undergoing very important treatment and evaluation. I don't feel any different though. 

The only problem I see myself having is sometime I lose my memory. Hours from my days will disappear out of nowhere and I'll wake up strapped to my bed. Memory loss isn't a mental illness,  I don't think. I should be in a normal wing of the hospital. I don't have anything against the other kids that share this wing with me but the nurses and doctors attention should be more on them and not me. I don't need it. I say it a million times a day, there is nothing wrong with me. I'm a normal little girl and I just want to live my life but no one understands. 

I don't particularly like it here but I've made pretty good friends with the other patients. Most of them seem pretty misunderstood, just like me. If I had the strength or will, I'd help us all escape. I've thought about how I'd fare outside the district, in the wilderness. I'm not confident that I'd live very long but at least I'd die somewhere happier than this. I hate the grey walls and grey sheets and grey gowns and grey-fucking-everything. I'm not mentally ill; I'm frustrated, damn it. I think I control my anger and frustration towards this place pretty well but the nurses and doctors never seem to agree. 

History:

"Nami Shiver File --
Patient files are for doctor and nurses viewing only.


Nami Shivers, thirteen, was admitted to our care two months and four days ago. She was admitted a few hours after she went missing from the orphanage. When the orphanage supervisors found her, she was curled up in a corner with a recorded fifty-six cuts and incisions of different lengths and depths located throughout her body. She was reported to have been screaming obscenities at no one in particular. After she was diagnosed with suicidal tendencies, she was moved to the mental wing of the hospital. During our initial examination and interview, we asked Nami about herself. "Honestly? I live to wreck havoc, and leave a trail of mayhem and panic in my wake. Rules are made to be broken, so are people. I want to unleash my own volatile brand of pandemonium to district six." Following that was more words that seemed more fit to come from a reckless, impulsive criminal and then she burst into a gut-wrenching hysterical laughter. Without missing a beat, her face went blank and her eyes glazed over into a dead stare. After approximately thirty seconds she came to, confused and frightened. She didn't seem like the same person we had been talking to just a few minutes prior, even the look in her eyes was different. There was no question that she was going to be kept in our wing under close examination to record her symptoms and actions. 

Throughout our time examining her, she has exhibited signs of Dissociative Identity Disorder. We still are not exactly clear on what causes these disturbances in the brain, and given the fact that we have no extensive personal or family history to go off of, we are at a lost. We've only a few nurses who will willingly give her care because in her short time here, she's already attempted to attack three nurses. We've resulted in having to strap her to the bed whenever she changes personalities. It seems as though Nami is completely unaware of her other personality. Although, the other personality, which has started calling itself Iman, is very much aware of Nami. It seems as though "Iman" has made it's one and only goal to be to destroy the life of this poor, young girl. We have yet to fully let the details of her condition known to her. Some nurses argue that it's unethical to not inform her with whats going on in her own body but we feel it's for her best interest. This mental disorder could have come to be via traumatic childhood experiences but Nami has no clear memory of her early years. 

Pulled from the records of the orphanage: 

Nami was brought to the orphanage at the age of five. She was found wandering around the district aimlessly calling for her mother and father. We have no records of who her parents are or where they may reside. There have been signs of sexual abuse due to inappropriate sexual behavior towards other children and dolls. She also exhibits signs of physical abuse as she often goes on anger induced tirades, tormenting and terrorizing the other children. As she grew older, she starting making death threats to the other children and the adult supervisors. We've deemed her to be very manipulative, as she acts as though she hasn't committed any of these wrong doings. We do not trust her with any special privileges or to be alone with other children. We also require two supervisors around at all time. We've implemented putting extra locks on her door because she's taken on the habit of sneaking out at night. We have no way to prove it but we believe a lot of defacement problems around the district could very well be related to her.

--

Under no circumstances, should a nurse or doctor share this condition with Nami. We are not yet aware of the consequences of Nami being aware of her alter, Iman. We are also not aware of the dangers that could come from this act. Currently, we are trying to gather information on whether these two beings in this one body can coincide."