Diary of a Dead Man {Kia Development Journal}

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Death
Career Tribute

509 POSTS
Pronouns: they/them
last seen Feb 13, 2023 21:20:51 GMT -5

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's a garbage can, not a cannot.

Diary of a Dead Man {Kia Development Journal} Sept 20, 2014 15:42:35 GMT -5

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Post by Death on Sept 20, 2014 15:42:35 GMT -5

{01}

I always thought it was going to be someone else, you know? I never thought the odds would be "in my favor." I never even imagined I'd win the family competition, let alone something as huge as the freaking Hunger Games. Holy shit. And then I was reaped. They called my name. I didn't have a plan for what to do. I acted on pure impulse. Dangerous. I shouldn't do that. But I had no plan. No way of moving forward and there I was, frozen to the spot.

But, you know, it just always feels like the reaping happen to "someone else." It never happens to you. The people across town lost their son. The guy you used to go to school with got reaped. The family who lived just down the street watched their son get reaped and die. It's never about you though, is it? It's always about someone else. Until it is you. And then you have to think, "I am someone else's "someone else"." My getting reaped made dozens of families sigh with relief while my family had to bury their fear and sadness. Father always knew this was a possibility.

I just never did.

Last Edit: Sept 20, 2014 23:07:09 GMT -5 by Death

Death
Career Tribute

509 POSTS
Pronouns: they/them
last seen Feb 13, 2023 21:20:51 GMT -5

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's a garbage can, not a cannot.

Diary of a Dead Man {Kia Development Journal} Sept 21, 2014 14:57:47 GMT -5

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Post by Death on Sept 21, 2014 14:57:47 GMT -5

{02}

I think I'm looking forward to the next week of my life. It's not every day a district-dweller gets to be made-over and dressed up. I think I'm going to love it. I wonder what my stylist will be like. Gender doesn't matter but I hope they give me some fun things to wear. Maybe something that has electricity and sparks and sparkles and sequins. Porsche likes to make fun of me for wearing "girly" clothes sometimes and so I'll tease her for wearing girly clothes because she's obviously a man. Jeeze. We were so mean to each other. We couldn't just enjoy each other's company and get along. No. We had to fight like cats and dogs all the damn time.

It was kinda Dad's fault, though, that our relationship is the way it is. He put this stupid competition between us from the time were were young and just... I guess I can't blame him for everything. Bugatti and Toyota didn't really cause trouble or fight. Just Porsche and I. She's the only person who can every ruin my good mood.

I miss her already though. I miss Porsche and Toyota and Bugatti and Dad and I haven't even been in the damn justice building for five minutes. It's ridiculous.

Kinda like me! Hahahaha. Just kidding. Although, not sure how I'm going to win this thing. I'm looking forward to meeting our victor and getting some advice. I need it so badly. I guess I'm a little better prepared than most, since I've been competing with people since I was little, and I've seen all kinds of gore and shit. I'm just worried the pressure will get to me. The last thing I want is to crack under the pressure.

Death
Career Tribute

509 POSTS
Pronouns: they/them
last seen Feb 13, 2023 21:20:51 GMT -5

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's a garbage can, not a cannot.

Diary of a Dead Man {Kia Development Journal} Sept 23, 2014 11:41:16 GMT -5

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Post by Death on Sept 23, 2014 11:41:16 GMT -5

[googlefont="Reenie Beanie:400"]

Toya was so broken when she came to see me. Kept insisting I promise to come back. And that's a heavy thing to promise. I don't want to get her hopes up. Sure, I want to come back. I want to live with every fiber of my being. Winning the Hunger Games would be a nice perk to go along with living part.

My family means a lot to me. But I'm not going to lie and say that they're my only reason for living and wanting to survive the Games. I'm a selfish person. I really am. Dad used to say that to me a lot. He'd shake his head and sigh and say, "I can't wait until you grow out of this selfish, pleasure-seeking phase."

I'm sorry, Dad, but it's not a phase. Is it a crime to want to have fun? I mean, life is hella short. And I might only have these games. I may never live past next week. That doesn't mean I'm going to screw everyone who walks around on two legs. In fact, that sounds horrible. I don't want to be making passes at everyone I meet.

But I'm not going to survive just because of a promise to my family. I'm going to survive because of myself. Because I don't want to die yet.

I love my family. But that's just not enough.

Last Edit: Sept 23, 2014 11:43:34 GMT -5 by Death