Don't Look My Way{Ry,Kia,July,Emery}

July felt as if she was slowly losing her mind, after the horrible chariot ride last night. She had always pitied the victims in their awful costumes, but last night one of those forced into the dreadful garb was her. She'd been dressed up as a stupid tree. Not that she didn't like trees, but, she didn't want to be dressed as one. At least her costume didn't leave her naked or nearly so.

The roaring crowd was even worse: every one of them eager to see her and her fellow tributes die terribly, and it nearly made her puke to have to fake a big smile and wave to them in a desperate bid to court sponsors. She hated them so fiercely it felt as if something hot and fierce were gnawing at her from within; July could not help that despite the phony smile, her eyes were glaring by the end.

The District Seven girl wished she'd had an axe then, one of the right kind to throw. She didn't, of course, and nothing happened other than the horses returned them to the underground staging area, her and the boy, Barnabas. If nothing else, she had gotten through the whole wretched mess without a single tear, and that would have to be good enough. Damn if she was ever going to cry for these bastards.

What had surprised July was that she had easily fallen off to sleep afterwards, something she had been sure she'd never be able to do. All too soon it was morning, and her door was being pounded on; she went to wrestle with the shower, and after, dressed in one of the provided training uniforms. Then she came out to eat breakfast, and it was overwhelming, all the choices, but there was some of the hot chocolate she'd discovered on the train, so she poured herself a big mug and sat, picking up different exotic looking pastries and eggs and bacon and eating some of everything.

All too soon it was time for the next ordeal. Training. She could only do certain things well, and she hated to show any of it off in front of the kids who were going to be trying to kill her, she was thinking as she walked in, though she quickly found herself migrating over to the station for edible plants, thinking that would be a good thing to know. She spent all of that first day at the survival stations.

At lunch, July was friendly and spoke to whoever was willing to talk to her; not the careers, they wouldn't give her the time of day, but some of the other district kids were willing to exchange a pleasant sentence or two, and July wondered how she was ever going to kill these people, now. Earlier, the thought had not bothered her much, but now, it was starting to. And yet, if she wanted to return home, she would have to do so, despite how she felt; she tried to shove that reluctance deep down inside where it would not be able to hurt her, but with only limited success, the thought remaining to weigh heavily upon her.

Now, later, another day in training, she found herself watching as the District Twelve girl threw knives at targets. She was pretty good, too. July felt herself smiling as she saw the blades slide home, and she said, out loud, "That was really good!" She said it spontaneously before she even thought about why she shouldn't praise another tribute, but for that reason it did sound authentic and sincere.

July wondered if she could do the same: she could already throw one sort of weapon, why not learn to throw another in the remaining time left to her? So July added, "I think I want to learn that too. Could you show me?" She expected the girl to say 'ask the trainer to show you,' but she thought she'd ask, because being friendly was just in her nature, and it suddenly felt as if she was overwhelmingly alone. If she could connect with another tribute even briefly, maybe they could become, if not friends, possibly allies - possibly less alone. Actually, it'd be great just to have someone to hang out with even just for now.