chloé deveraux : district one DONE

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Everyone tells be being different is what makes you unique. Individualism is the true way to make yourself stand out in the crowd of thousands of different yet so indistinguishable faces. I have been told I have everything to be a victorious independent women in this society. Except the only people that have ever told me that don't understand how it is anymore. As much as I wany to believe you can be successful through nothing but hard work and determination, I can't. You need money, contacts, and a big name. My family has none of those things. No money to buy the finest things you can in the district, no contacts to make business deals with or any business at all actually. All the Deveraux family will ever be is lowly people working as flyer distributers for another family's legacy. [break][break]

And whenever I get the slightest hope that my life will soon chance and be a rushing novel about danger and romance, I am shot right back to reality, realizing how childish I might really be. No prince charming is ever going to pick me up off my feet like the other girls at school dream about while sipping on tasteless tea. I watch them as they try so hard to be someone they are never going to be. Not everyone was born to fit in. Some were meant to scream at the top of their lungs, others were meant to just walk on by and make people feel like he was yelling. As for me, I just assumed I was born to the wrong people and live in the wrong place. I don't fit in with these people, my whole family doesn't. [break][break]

My alarm clock, which isn't very traditional, always comes running up the stairs five minutes after I wake up. The little feet pounding of a little girl with round blue eyes and a hint of excitement in her young life. Closing my eyes, listening to the sound of the door creaking, expect child on my side in the next few seconds. [break][break]

"Chloe! Wake up, wake up!" [break][break]

Fluttering my eyes open, I stretch out my arms really big and then grab the little sprite. She yelps trying to run from my grasp as I tickle her on her balloted little belly. [break][break]

"Good morning beautiful,"
[break][break]

"Grandpa left some papers for you on the kitchen counter before he left this morning."[break][break]

I try not to hide my disappointment from my niece. The universe did not fail its promise to keep me in the real world. Just like that I had been reminded about the real world by a three year old. At least its bouncing blonde haired girl instead of my boss. Smiling, I sit up and adjust her on my lap. [break][break]


"Thank you so much Elowen. I will get right on that... Where is your Mommy?"[break][break]

Elowen shrugs and kisses my cheek before running to her room calling behind her about her new doll she found in the storage closet. I quietly slip out of bed and dress myself before looking at the person staring at me in the dirty mirror ahead. Peoples voices echo through my brain about being skinny but not skinny enough, how my brown hair stands out in a sea of blonde in a bad way, or how I look too serious all the time. At first I try on a smile. Automatically I felt exposed. Even standing in the mirror with only undergarments on made me feel more safe then with a smile. Smiling didn't suite me unless I was at the bar intoxicated to forget my troubles. Which led to me getting home later and later. My biggest worry was soon little Elowen would have no one to tuck her in at night. [break][break]

I make my way downstairs and look at the papers waiting for me and a note signing my fathers name. Stuffing them into my bag I try to run out the door so I could maybe have enough time to meet my few friends before my shift as the public square. Routinly, I poor a glass of milk out for Elowen instead of myself and put on a hat and scarf. Right as I kissed Elowen on cheek on my way out I see my sister slowly taking her time down the street to our house. At that time I felt like I didn't need my jacket to keep me warm anymore, I had my anger.

"There is mommy!"
[break][break]

"Yeah, there she is." [break][break]


"Do you think she will play dolls with me, Aunt Chloe?" [break][break]


"I don't know you have to ask! I will see you soon Elowen, I love you." [break][break]

"I love you too." [break][break]

Exceot at that moment her little sweet voice wasn't enough to keep me from running out the door and stopping my older sister dead in her tracks. [break][break]


"Where the hell have you been Charlotte?" [break][break]


She looks at me by tipping her sun glasses down. Her hair was messy and her shirt was half way unbuttoned. My eyes pierce her chest until she rolls her eyes to button it up. She ttys to get past me but I block her from better near the gate into our house. [break][break]

"Where do you think Chloe? I was working." [break][break]

I throw my arms in the arm. [break][break]

"Working? You are honestly telling me your bar tending job went from 5:30 last night until 9:30 this morning? Who's house were you at last night, Charlotte?" [break][break]


"I might have gotten a little caught up..." [break][break]


"A little? You have a daughter to keep care of and you go off getting drunk and then hooking up with men every night! What type of mother are you?" [break][break]


"Honestly, Chloe. Elowen is fine. She has you." [break][break]


"I am not her mother! She is not my responsibility!" [break][break]

"I have other things to do Chloe, I am not going to take orders from a seventeen year old girl. I can keep care of myself I am twenty years old." [break][break]

"This seventeen year old girl is taking care of your child Charlotte! You should have thought about this before you got knocked up with some rich boys baby who doesn't even acknowledge you or her when you walk down the street!" [break][break]

Charlotte doesn't say another word but stares blankly through me towards the door. I almost say something before I see Elowen's face poking out the door. I push past Charlotte. "Just remember who tarnished our families name." I don't even look back as I hear Charlotte's voice tell Elowen she was too tired to play. The icy cold wind seems to nip on my back asI feel guilty for lashing out at my sister. I knew she didn't mean to fall in love with a boy who cared more about riches then his own child. The whole way to the office I told myself my actions were justified and Elowen was too good of a girl to be labeled as a bastard to upper-class society. [break][break]

As I made it to the office and picked up my catalogs along with handed my papers in my father left on the table, I begin a route I had been walking ever since I was seven years old. The first time I walked the route with my father, we knocked on the door of a house larger then mine and a boy in my class opened the door. I silted but he stared right on through me as if I didn't mean a thing to him. The way his father pushed him behind his shoulder and told my father rudely they weren't interested, was the first time I felt unsafe in my own skin. I felt like people were watching me with a sore eye as my father took my hand and sadly looked to his feet. He looked so belittled and I knew he was a good man. No one deserves this. [break][break]

Yet, I am here ten years later doing the same route with the same people buying or taking and then the same people not. Rubbing my hands together, I unclasp my messenger bag and take out the flyers, leaving them on the doorsteps of people who didn't have enough money to afford a catalog. Then as I got to my selling route I cringed. Here I was stepping up to the doorstep of people who despised me, watching me beg them to buy. [break][break]


Knock. Knock. Knock. [break][break]


"Goodmorning sir. I am here -"[break][break]

"And who are you?'[break][break]

"I am with -"[break][break]

"I don't really care who you are or who you are with. Go bother someone else." [break][break]

The wide oak door slammed in my face, and I am left with another x on my paper of people who don't care about me. Another door slammed in my face means another few steps backwards towards actually meaning something in this world. I can't sell catalogs forever. I just have to find my way out of this mess. At that moment in time, I realized that I wanted to slam doors in peoples faces, I wanted the power to tell people no. I was done with begging the outcast brunette with the family who almost became big. I am not my mother. I am not my father. I am not my sister.  [break][break]

I was going to take my life back. [break][break]