{ stare makes things }
Feb 9, 2015 0:34:57 GMT -5
Post by Stare on Feb 9, 2015 0:34:57 GMT -5
hiya!
Hello dears and darlings <333 So for those of you who do not know I am Stare and I like making graphics and tables and things. They aren't necessarily good, but I do adore designing them. Seeing as it's Games season, I thought I'd open up my services to anyone who wanted something. Below are some samples of my work.
“i miss you” would be understated
memories have slowly faded
the love you sacrificed
was just another way to die
memories have slowly faded
the love you sacrificed
was just another way to die
It's Cord. I go by Cord.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
if heaven is a place you'll go
i don't know if i will ever see you
and if you leave before you know
i'll let go of all we've ever been through
i don't know if i will ever see you
and if you leave before you know
i'll let go of all we've ever been through
“i miss you” would be understated
memories have slowly faded
the love you sacrificed
was just another way to die
memories have slowly faded
the love you sacrificed
was just another way to die
They return her to us in a simple wooden box.
As they unload it from the train I want nothing more than to launch myself at them and tear my nails through their skin, to scream so loudly that my voice will echo in their ears for days. Savannah left us full of life and light and a fighting spirit that actually fooled me into believing she might make it. How dare they return her to us like this, like a toy they abused and then tossed back once they became bored with her? Instead of lashing out, though, I shrink back as they set the box on the ground, hiding in the shadows so they won’t see me and try to return the corpse to me directly. I gave them directions to the graveyard. Someone - I’m not entirely sure who - has already dug a hole for the body. We couldn’t afford a real coffin, so the box will have to do.
One of them pulls back the lid, checking on the body inside. My breath catches in my throat and I turn my face away, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen her, her skin far too pale and blue lips parted slightly, her right shoulder covered with a simple black sleeve to hide the damage done and all that she lost in the hell they forced her into. I forced myself to avoid the bottle today and I am now sorely regretting it. My stomach lurches sharply and I brace one hand against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut. A few tears leak out anyway.
Damn them. They didn’t even return her whole.
By the time I finally regain my senses and manage to make my way to the cemetery the box is already there, as well as all of my living sisters. Lucy clutches the teddy bear Soap returned. At the thought of the Victor with his wide eyes full of both pity and pain my chest clenches painfully and I turn my gaze away. The formal funeral isn’t for a half hour but people have already started to gather, drawn to the unjust death like moths to a flame. Some of them I recognize as Savannah’s old friends, but many are strangers to me. Most probably come simply because she was a tribute. Again I feel a flash of violence, the urge to scream that despite what they think they didn’t know her, not really, and they have no right to be here. But then I see the dying flowers they carry, their slumped shoulders and dark expressions, and I realize that perhaps one did not need to know Savannah to mourn her. She was, after all, just a child. Anyone can cry for the death of a child.
When the funeral begins they pull back the lid and the knowledge that this is the last time she will ever see daylight hits me like a punch to the stomach. This was never how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to stay with us and protect us until Dad was no longer a threat. She was supposed to meet someone who would love her and all her scars, a fantastic romance that would forgive all her mischief and wrongdoing. She was supposed to walk down the aisle dressed in a simple white gown because really, she never did like anything overly formal. She would have glanced at me and made a teasing face.I was supposed to be an aunt, someday. She was supposed to grow old and crooked, with grandchildren who adored her and an undying rebellious spirit that accompanied her to her last breath. She was supposed to die on her own terms, at her own time.
Instead, she’s been slaughtered at the fragile age of eighteen.
“Oh, Sav,” I whisper, staring at her expressionless face. My tone is soft, only slightly chiding, just like it was when she would come home staggering with clouded eyes and a crooked smile on her face, triumphantly holding up cash that she got from Ripred knows where. “What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?”
I am sixteen years old, wiping blood from a gash he left on her left cheekbone. She cringes away from the damp scrap of cloth but I hold her chin steady, biting my bottom lip. He was coming for me this time and I cowered in the corner, sobbing and terrified and calling for her. She’d come, just like she always does, and gotten in his way. I touch the cloth to the gash again and she sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth, jerking away. “Stop. Liv, just… just give me a second.”
I have to swallow hard to force back the tears. I won’t cry. Not in front of her. I bring the cloth back and dip it in the bucket of water at my side, not meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
There’s a pause, and I can hear the confusion in her voice. “For what?”
“For not being strong enough to face him on my own.”
She doesn’t answer for a long time, and I’m forced to raise my eyes to meet hers. Her expression is soft, almost curious, as she regards me. “Protecting you is my job, Liv. I’m not going to let him mess up that pretty face of yours.”
“But - “
“Stop.” She cuts me off firmly, frowning. The action causes more blood to ooze down her face. “I do a whole lot of things I’m not proud of, okay? But looking after you guys is a good thing, and I’m not going to quit for anything.” She smiles crookedly then. “Besides, I’m a fighter by nature. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have something to punch every now and then.” She leans forward and nudges me playfully. “I’m always going to be there for you, whether you like it or not.”
I sniffle a little, dropping my gaze back down to the bucket of water. “Always?”
“Always,” she repeatss firmly. “Forever and ever, until you’re sick and tired of me.”
“I have something to say,” I blurt out, surprising myself. Dozens of heads lift and turn toward me, and I get the feeling I interrupted something. Somehow, staring at my older sister’s dead body, I can’t bring myself to care.
I approach her slowly. She looks peaceful but that's wrong because she was never a peaceful person. She was violent and raw and brash in the very best way. Forever and ever. “She was beautiful,” I say after a moment. “And strong. And spunky. And funny, and loud, and brave, and instinctive, and smart, and protective.” Dead silence meets me, but I don’t turn around, too afraid of what I’ll see if I do. “She’s broken now, but that’s okay. I still love her.” I choke on the words, swiping at my face. “It was too soon,” I manage after a moment. “Just… it was too soon.”
And then I spin on my heels, shove my way through the crowd, and flee.
It doesn’t take me too long to find a nice, abandoned alley where I can curl up and cry. They’re loud, messy, body shaking sobs that leave me gasping for air and leaning heavily against the brick wall. Forever and ever. She promised. She promised. On instinct I lean back and lash out, my fist making contact with the wall. The pain in my fist is blinding and I feel blood pushing out through cuts on my knuckles, but the sense of release is blissful. A memory of Sav flashes through my mind. She used to shadow box, dancing lightly on her feet and striking at the wall. I suck in a deep breath, blinking away my tears, and draw back so I can strike the wall three more times. My hands begin to swell. Two more punches and I’m actually smiling. Five more and I’m laughing.
Savannah is dead, probably buried in the ground by now, but I’m laughing anyway.
I fall back against the wall and drag my hand through my hair, feeling freedom for the first time since Willis Keeni struck down my sister. I’ve finally found a way to be in control. I’ve found a way to step up and take charge, just like Sav always did. And, for the first time in ages, I know.
We’re going to be okay.
As they unload it from the train I want nothing more than to launch myself at them and tear my nails through their skin, to scream so loudly that my voice will echo in their ears for days. Savannah left us full of life and light and a fighting spirit that actually fooled me into believing she might make it. How dare they return her to us like this, like a toy they abused and then tossed back once they became bored with her? Instead of lashing out, though, I shrink back as they set the box on the ground, hiding in the shadows so they won’t see me and try to return the corpse to me directly. I gave them directions to the graveyard. Someone - I’m not entirely sure who - has already dug a hole for the body. We couldn’t afford a real coffin, so the box will have to do.
One of them pulls back the lid, checking on the body inside. My breath catches in my throat and I turn my face away, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen her, her skin far too pale and blue lips parted slightly, her right shoulder covered with a simple black sleeve to hide the damage done and all that she lost in the hell they forced her into. I forced myself to avoid the bottle today and I am now sorely regretting it. My stomach lurches sharply and I brace one hand against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut. A few tears leak out anyway.
Damn them. They didn’t even return her whole.
By the time I finally regain my senses and manage to make my way to the cemetery the box is already there, as well as all of my living sisters. Lucy clutches the teddy bear Soap returned. At the thought of the Victor with his wide eyes full of both pity and pain my chest clenches painfully and I turn my gaze away. The formal funeral isn’t for a half hour but people have already started to gather, drawn to the unjust death like moths to a flame. Some of them I recognize as Savannah’s old friends, but many are strangers to me. Most probably come simply because she was a tribute. Again I feel a flash of violence, the urge to scream that despite what they think they didn’t know her, not really, and they have no right to be here. But then I see the dying flowers they carry, their slumped shoulders and dark expressions, and I realize that perhaps one did not need to know Savannah to mourn her. She was, after all, just a child. Anyone can cry for the death of a child.
When the funeral begins they pull back the lid and the knowledge that this is the last time she will ever see daylight hits me like a punch to the stomach. This was never how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to stay with us and protect us until Dad was no longer a threat. She was supposed to meet someone who would love her and all her scars, a fantastic romance that would forgive all her mischief and wrongdoing. She was supposed to walk down the aisle dressed in a simple white gown because really, she never did like anything overly formal. She would have glanced at me and made a teasing face.I was supposed to be an aunt, someday. She was supposed to grow old and crooked, with grandchildren who adored her and an undying rebellious spirit that accompanied her to her last breath. She was supposed to die on her own terms, at her own time.
Instead, she’s been slaughtered at the fragile age of eighteen.
“Oh, Sav,” I whisper, staring at her expressionless face. My tone is soft, only slightly chiding, just like it was when she would come home staggering with clouded eyes and a crooked smile on her face, triumphantly holding up cash that she got from Ripred knows where. “What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?”
I am sixteen years old, wiping blood from a gash he left on her left cheekbone. She cringes away from the damp scrap of cloth but I hold her chin steady, biting my bottom lip. He was coming for me this time and I cowered in the corner, sobbing and terrified and calling for her. She’d come, just like she always does, and gotten in his way. I touch the cloth to the gash again and she sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth, jerking away. “Stop. Liv, just… just give me a second.”
I have to swallow hard to force back the tears. I won’t cry. Not in front of her. I bring the cloth back and dip it in the bucket of water at my side, not meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
There’s a pause, and I can hear the confusion in her voice. “For what?”
“For not being strong enough to face him on my own.”
She doesn’t answer for a long time, and I’m forced to raise my eyes to meet hers. Her expression is soft, almost curious, as she regards me. “Protecting you is my job, Liv. I’m not going to let him mess up that pretty face of yours.”
“But - “
“Stop.” She cuts me off firmly, frowning. The action causes more blood to ooze down her face. “I do a whole lot of things I’m not proud of, okay? But looking after you guys is a good thing, and I’m not going to quit for anything.” She smiles crookedly then. “Besides, I’m a fighter by nature. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have something to punch every now and then.” She leans forward and nudges me playfully. “I’m always going to be there for you, whether you like it or not.”
I sniffle a little, dropping my gaze back down to the bucket of water. “Always?”
“Always,” she repeatss firmly. “Forever and ever, until you’re sick and tired of me.”
“I have something to say,” I blurt out, surprising myself. Dozens of heads lift and turn toward me, and I get the feeling I interrupted something. Somehow, staring at my older sister’s dead body, I can’t bring myself to care.
I approach her slowly. She looks peaceful but that's wrong because she was never a peaceful person. She was violent and raw and brash in the very best way. Forever and ever. “She was beautiful,” I say after a moment. “And strong. And spunky. And funny, and loud, and brave, and instinctive, and smart, and protective.” Dead silence meets me, but I don’t turn around, too afraid of what I’ll see if I do. “She’s broken now, but that’s okay. I still love her.” I choke on the words, swiping at my face. “It was too soon,” I manage after a moment. “Just… it was too soon.”
And then I spin on my heels, shove my way through the crowd, and flee.
It doesn’t take me too long to find a nice, abandoned alley where I can curl up and cry. They’re loud, messy, body shaking sobs that leave me gasping for air and leaning heavily against the brick wall. Forever and ever. She promised. She promised. On instinct I lean back and lash out, my fist making contact with the wall. The pain in my fist is blinding and I feel blood pushing out through cuts on my knuckles, but the sense of release is blissful. A memory of Sav flashes through my mind. She used to shadow box, dancing lightly on her feet and striking at the wall. I suck in a deep breath, blinking away my tears, and draw back so I can strike the wall three more times. My hands begin to swell. Two more punches and I’m actually smiling. Five more and I’m laughing.
Savannah is dead, probably buried in the ground by now, but I’m laughing anyway.
I fall back against the wall and drag my hand through my hair, feeling freedom for the first time since Willis Keeni struck down my sister. I’ve finally found a way to be in control. I’ve found a way to step up and take charge, just like Sav always did. And, for the first time in ages, I know.
We’re going to be okay.
if heaven is a place you'll go
i don't know if i will ever see you
and if you leave before you know
i'll let go of all we've ever been through
i don't know if i will ever see you
and if you leave before you know
i'll let go of all we've ever been through
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
dirty your hands
tearing my heart into pieces
if this is the end
then we whisper the wind
and release it
{ elements }
tearing my heart into pieces
if this is the end
then we whisper the wind
and release it
{ elements }
how can i learn how to trust you?
hiding away, how to get though
no, i can't take it, i can't take it
the devil, it keeps, the devil, it keeps it all
hiding away, how to get though
no, i can't take it, i can't take it
the devil, it keeps, the devil, it keeps it all
I see her face projected against the stars long after we have left her blood behind. I didn’t speak with her back in the Capitol. I can’t even remember her name. I add her to the list, though, of the many people who now hate me, along with the rest of her alliance. My arm protests with jolts of pain that almost blind me when I lay down, but Lyric and Soap healed it well and the bleeding has stopped. I just have to hope now that it doesn’t become infected. If I’m lucky, I’ll be dead before it has time to.
I can see the stars from where I stretch out upon the ground. My everything aches, muscles sore and skin bruised, so I trace patterns in the projected sky in order to distract myself. There were people back in Eight who claimed they could read the stars. When Nora and I went out into the fields, we pretended we were like them, pulling stories from the pictures we saw. She was far better at it than I was, spinning tales of great men conquering monsters and then throwing their remains to the heavens. I try to remember some of them as I pull Teddy from my pack and tuck him under one arm, my eyes fluttering closed.
I fall asleep a child, and I awaken a monster.
When my eyes flicker open, I’m angry. My body thrums with rage, every inch of me suddenly alive with the fire that has only ever been there during fights. My fingers curl in alarm, teeth gritting against the urge to grab my axe and lash out at something. I rise slowly, glancing at the others. There was once a time when I was preparing myself mentally to kill them in their sleep, before the Games began. Everything has changed. Now I fight for their lives not because I have to but because I want to. I’ll go to hell for all the sins I’ve committed in the Arena for them and for myself, but I’m not alone in my crimes.
I guess we’ll go to hell together, then.
We keep moving. It seems that’s all we ever do. Keep moving. Keep stumbling upon new threats, new killers. New things we have to murder. We never can catch our breath for very long, and those heartbeats once filled with laughter and distractions are now thick with darkness and a deep mistrust of any joy we may experience, however fleeting. The Gamemakers have ensured that our hearts harden over into something colder, stronger, and I’ll never forgive them for it. Perhaps I deserved such a punishment but my family did not. It makes me angrier than ever because I know there is nothing I can do about it. Soap, Lyric, Claude - they all belong to them. The Gamemakers can take them away from me just as easily as they took my arm.
I find myself running my nails down the pads of my fingertips, swinging my wrists around, chewing on my tongue. I’m restless, anxious, the lack of release for my newfound anger eating me alive on the inside. I need a drink. My dreams have been becoming more haunting, with the four of us growing up together, sharing childhood memories, enjoying each others’ company until we grow old and die. There’s always alcohol in them somewhere - we’ll be sharing drinks at a bar, or out partying late. Last night I dreamed that Claude carried a very, very drunk Lyric home while Soap and I sang off key behind them. It’s maddening, thinking of all the things that will never be entwined with the remedy I’ll never have. There’s only one other thing that comforts me like the bottle, but it scares me just as much as it heals me.
I’m angry, and I crave blood.
They come like a flood, like a pair of summoned soldiers. I blink at their presence - don’t they know to avoid us? don’t the realize that we killed their kin? - but then I understand. They’ve been sent to challenge us. We are the champions, the group that has managed to overcome every obstacle thrown our way. They want to see us crumble, to see us fall. They want to see us shed blood or die ourselves. They want us to fight.
And, like a good little puppet, I will obey.
The anger courses through me and I leap forward, suddenly not entirely myself. My mind goes blank, leaving plenty of room for instinct. Survive. Protect. Kill. When my dad would come home in a drunk rage, I would stand between him and my sisters. I do the same now, positioning myself in front of my allies and widening my stance. This is my family and these beasts will not take it from me. Not now, after I’ve lost an arm for them. After I’ve realized just how far I’ll go to save them.
One comes near and I bear my teeth, fingers tightening their grip around my axe. I may be missing a limb but I am far from weak - every part of me screams at the sweet release as I launch myself toward my target and swing my weapon around, seeking blood.
SAVANNAH attacks APPA 1 with AXE
AE|lCbsKaxe
AE|lCbsKaxe
my heart is a worthless game
what the hell you expect me to say
when i can't take it, i can't take it
the devil, it keeps, the devil, it keeps it all
what the hell you expect me to say
when i can't take it, i can't take it
the devil, it keeps, the devil, it keeps it all
don't tell me the truth
tell me that it didn't happen
there's been a mistake
there's been a misunderstanding
tell me that it didn't happen
there's been a mistake
there's been a misunderstanding
The world around me swings and I stumble like a young child, crying out at the jolts sent through my body. "I - I can't," I pant, hating the words as they slip from my lips. It's true, though. The fight has all but completely left me, replaced by this blinding pain that blooms at my core and spreads outward in waves. "I c-can't keep - ah." I gasp as another jolt sends me crashing to my knees, the world disappearing in a bright flash of white.
Suddenly there's a pair of arms wrapping around me, pulling me upright. I want to collapse all of my weight on top of them so they can drag me away, but force of habit causes my feet to scramble for their own placement, taking off some of the weight. As the pain recedes slightly I catch a glimpse of a familiar face and force a smile. "Blondie," I manage to gasp out. A part of me aches to pull myself away from her and make my own way, but I know if I do that I'll only end up collapsing again. I'm so unused to relying on someone instead of having them rely on me, and guilt blooms in the pit of my stomach at the thought of being such a burden.
They could leave me to die here. They could flee and see me dead, crushed by the attacked of this beast, and no one would blame them. I wouldn't blame them. And yet here they are, dragging me along. I am crippled and weak and broken, but they continue to support me just as I continue to support them. I suppose that's what family means. Even when one of us stumbles, we pull them through because we can't imagine life without them. Today I am being carried. Tomorrow I might be the one carrying them.
Theirs is a weight I would gladly shoulder.
Lyric helps me away. I stumble slightly and I feel her shoulders go tense as my weight falls against her. Our surroundings all blur together and suddenly all of my focus is dedicated to the next step, to bracing myself against the next jolt of pain. When we stop I grimace as I lay down, curling my knees to my chest and gritting my teeth. "Soap," I say after a moment, waving away the medical supplies she digs from my pack. That can wait. My allies can't. "Claude. I don't want f-first aid. I want them."
we don't have to know
we don't have it all worked out
we can just keep walking
blind
(Savannah performs First Aid on herself for -3)
(Savannah uses needle and thread for -5)
(Savannah uses one bundle of Medicinal Plants for -2)
(Savannah uses 5ft of bandages for -1)
(Savannah eats her bento box)
we don't have it all worked out
we can just keep walking
blind
(Savannah performs First Aid on herself for -3)
(Savannah uses needle and thread for -5)
(Savannah uses one bundle of Medicinal Plants for -2)
(Savannah uses 5ft of bandages for -1)
(Savannah eats her bento box)
yes I know these are like all Savannah graphics shhhh she was the last trib I had okay?Anyway, as you can see I love trying out different kinds of graphics and tables. I've actually been toying with the idea of some BB specific tables so if anyone wants those (hint hint) please feel free to ask.
None of my stuff is going to cost anything, I just want to makes things <333 However, I am going to have a limit the number of orders I'll take at one time to three if it ever gets that high, so please be aware of that. If you want something, just post below giving me the details (graphic or table? FC? text? any other specific things you want?). Other than that, it's pretty open. Thanks dears! <333ORDERS:
1. Dars
2. open
3. open
axe�unarmed
