:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin)

Kire
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Pronouns: she/her
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:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin) Feb 28, 2015 23:34:47 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Kire on Feb 28, 2015 23:34:47 GMT -5

Please note that this character performs self-mutilation as an act of art and not self-hatred. Even so, I would advise anyone who may be triggered to avoid reading this.
Thank you.

a heart made of stone
callous and bone
fracture and tear it out
to let it go

Blood and bone are beautiful. The way the blood flows and spills, the way the bones move and are shaped. I have learned to appreciate the art in the body and its fluids. Inside of everyone are miles of ruby tubes, connected to beautiful white bone. The muscles move with only the merest thought and can do amazing things. I try to accomplish all I can in each movement I make. I must make the most of what I am for it is not a long time that we all have on this planet and I must treasure every moment. For my skin is silver, my blood is rubies, my bone is moonstone, my eyes are sapphires. My body is a treasure that I keep for only a short time.

My skin is silver. Along each of my limbs are scars that I made myself, scars I use to show the beauty of pain. They are thin marks, spidery and silver like I had fine wires embedded into my skin. I take pride in each, boldly wearing them in the open. They are not flaws, they are signs of my beauty and the beauty that lays inside me.

My blood is rubies. Each cut I make I watch the stone drops fall. They patter to the ground in a pile of gemstones as I watch. They delight me, each round glittering gem that slides down my arms with the softest touch. The way they streak my skin and dye it red makes me feel like the true me is closer to the surface. I see only art over my body and I want more, I want to see so much more.

My bone is moonstone. When I catch glimpses of it, only in the rarest times when I deem it a special time, I see it glimmer and glow. It is angelic, white like wings and sturdy like stone. I have marked my bones, I have left nicks once, twice. When I was first brave enough to chase my art, and then the day I shared my art with others. I save my moonstone structure for only the most important of shows and events. Each year I turn older I place a notch in my forearm, each year I am not reaped I place a notch in my finger.

My eyes are sapphires. They are wide and innocent. I want to call them beautiful, I want to call them captivating, I want them to show the world that I am at peace. No one understands when they see me that I act in order to experience beauty. Each injury I give myself is another step closer to being the beautiful person I know is inside of me. I just have to let him out. I have to let him bleed through my skin and stain me until I finally am him.

On my silver skin are lines of iron, black and delicate despite their boldness. I have gotten images drawn into my skin along my collarbone and on my shoulders. Words and pictures that tell what I believe. Magnificent it reads. Exquisite it shows. I can speak without saying a single thing and it brings me joy. People can look at me and see who I am and what my message is. Every person is amazing, every person is wonderful, and I know this because I can see it in myself.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I a m i r o n .
I am silver. I am rubies. I a m m o o n s t o n e . I am sapphires. I am iron.
I a m s i l v e r . I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I a m s a p p h i r e s . I am iron.
I am silver. I a m r u b i e s . I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
Most of all, I am beautiful. I see the art and grace in pain and wounds, I feel the joy and the happiness in skin and bone, I hear the beat and thrum in the body and mind, I smell the iron and the copper in sweat and blood, I taste the salt and water in tears and saliva. Each piece of me, each individual part and motion, is its own instance of beauty.

and to think
i called it my own
and i would have never thought
the pain could grow

Last Edit: May 17, 2015 11:47:24 GMT -5 by Kire

On hills and waves on stormy days.

Kire
Retired Staff

2,937 POSTS
Pronouns: she/her
last seen Jul 16, 2015 21:45:21 GMT -5

thinking about thonking

:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin) Mar 1, 2015 1:25:18 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Kire on Mar 1, 2015 1:25:18 GMT -5

it's harder to know
just where to go
if only the stars aligned
the sunsets glowed

The mind is fascinating. It works silently, always controlling every moment to make each part function. Even without the physical it still works. Thoughts are their own allure, drops of a person's consciousness like the drops that fall from the eye as tears. Each glitters, each shines, each eventually leaves us. My mind acts like any others, and yet I am different. We are all different even when our basic shapes are the same. I think like no other person, my thoughts are my own. They are individual, they are different, they are beautiful. My thoughts are silver. My love is rubies. My joy is moonstone. My sadness is sapphires. My hate is iron. My mind is a thing I could never replace.

My thoughts are silver. They shimmer in my head, each individual strand traceable like the scars on my skin. One leads to another until I don't know where each ends and the next begins. I am a string of beliefs and ideas that form what I say and do. I think of the good in the world, the divinity that surrounds me and that is in me. I always aim to keep to the right side of my mind. The silver is right, the iron is wrong. Silver heals, as my thoughts heal me from the things I don't understand about others. I know myself, but I do not know other people. They do not understand me.

My love is rubies. Each gem glimmers when I hand it off, a part of my heart that I will never get back. I love to give myself away, to show others how to love. I love myself, for how else would I be able to embrace the beauty and the art of my own self if I couldn't see past the flaws. That is love, and that is what I show people. I give myself beauty because I love myself, I give others love so they can find beauty in themselves.

My joy is moonstone. It shines and it reflects the smiles and the sun. I bring the light with me, night or day. Moonstone is strong, it withstands the shifting of the earth and the heat of the sun. Water doesn't wash it away but instead polishes it and makes it more beautiful than before. I have to be like moonstone, so everyone can see the beauty in life.

My sadness is sapphires. Stone by stone they fall to the floor, glittering hard until they shatter on the ground. I keep them hidden away, a greed I never speak of, for I must only bring moonstone and joy. Blue is so beautiful, and yet unhappy. I can't let my sapphires go or else everyone will want their own.

My hate is iron. It is heavy and brittle, but it hurts. It is stiff and unbending, cruel. I wish it were soft. I wish it were light. I try to push it, to drag it, to drive it away, but it weighs too much and I can't budge it once it's set. I try to forget, I try to leave it behind, but it is attached to me on a chain. A chain of iron.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I a m i r o n .
I am silver. I am rubies. I a m m o o n s t o n e . I am sapphires. I am iron.
I a m s i l v e r . I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I a m s a p p h i r e s . I am iron.
I am silver. I a m r u b i e s . I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
Most of all, I am different. I think like no other, and that makes me refined. We are all angels to someone. I want to believe I am one, I want to believe I bring moonstone to those with sapphires, I want to believe I can break the iron that clasps so many. If I am me, and you are you, and we are different, then we must be special in the other's eyes because neither of us had seen someone like the other before. Each one is important, each one is individual, each one is its own.

i don't need
a calm in a storm
or something to scream about
with empty lungs

Last Edit: May 17, 2015 11:48:28 GMT -5 by Kire

On hills and waves on stormy days.

Kire
Retired Staff

2,937 POSTS
Pronouns: she/her
last seen Jul 16, 2015 21:45:21 GMT -5

thinking about thonking

:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin) Mar 1, 2015 1:52:52 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Kire on Mar 1, 2015 1:52:52 GMT -5

right now
never want to leave this place
and right now
see it in a different way

The past shapes us, changes us, makes us into who we are. Each person is different because each past is different. It can be horrible but it can be wonderful. I was lucky, I had a lovely past and I have a lovely present. I lived it easily, I watched each moment of my life fall into place like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle, like each bone fits together to create a skeleton. An important part of this is family, and an important part of this is experiences. My experiences are silver. My mother is rubies. My sister is moonstone. My brother is sapphires. My father is iron. Without the past, without my family, I would not be me.

My experiences are silver. They are solid and they rest in me. I can never remove them and they lace my skin like my scars do. I am woven in their silken threads. I remember school, I remember training, I remember playing and having fun. They are moments that sit with me always. Inlaid in my flesh for all time, to remove them is to remove my own skin. When I open my flesh I let more experiences in so I can be more and know more. I will always rely on them to guide me, I will always know that I am who I am because of them.

My mother is rubies. She is rich in self, and she gives herself for us. Every time she hands me a piece of herself I give her part of me in return. She is the one I trust with anything, she is the one who knows what I do is what I must do. She understands, she cares. I remember when I was small, she always taught me about how the body worked. I would ask questions and she would always answer. I will always be open, like my mother of ruby.

My sister is moonstone. She is bright, she is pretty, she is tough. I can rely on her to know what I do and not cringe away. She tells me how to be safe, she teaches me all she knows. I remember when she saved me when I made a mistake, I remember when she protected me while the older boys made fun of my scars. I will always be caring, like my sister of moonstone.

My brother is sapphires. He is innocent, he is handsome, he is honest. He watches out for me, he tells me the truth of the world. I tell him the beauty and the grace, so he doesn't see only the bad. I can rely on him to always think things through. He shows me how cruel the world can be. I remember when he cried when his favorite tribute dies, and when he cried when his bird died. I will always be truthful, like my brother of sapphire.

My father is iron. He is tough, he is steady, he is immovable. He doesn't understand what I do, he fears it. He is from a time long ago and yet still in this time now. I am too much in the present for him, I am too far ahead. He is stuck and I try to help move him but I can't. I can rely on him to be solid, to be there to fall back on because he will catch me. I remember when he told me he was proud, when he told me that I was a good son to have. I will always be steady, like my father of iron.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I a m i r o n .
I am silver. I am rubies. I a m m o o n s t o n e . I am sapphires. I am iron.
I a m s i l v e r . I am rubies. I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
I am silver. I am rubies. I am moonstone. I a m s a p p h i r e s . I am iron.
I am silver. I a m r u b i e s . I am moonstone. I am sapphires. I am iron.
Most of all, I am me. I am who I was created to be. Each influence changed me towards who I should be. I am shifting and changing each time I take a breath, each time I take a step, and I don't ever want to stop. Time runs on and we can only hope to run along with us until we lose our breath. I want to run a marathon, I want to run with time for a long while. I want to grow to be the person my father wants to see, to be the man my mother wants to see, to be the brother my siblings want to see. Each side of me is important, each influence behind the making of me is crucial. I am important.

And so are you.

so right now
even if you take me on
i'll stand the lonely
stand the lonely

Last Edit: Mar 1, 2015 2:31:05 GMT -5 by Kire

On hills and waves on stormy days.

Kire
Retired Staff

2,937 POSTS
Pronouns: she/her
last seen Jul 16, 2015 21:45:21 GMT -5

thinking about thonking

:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin) Mar 1, 2015 2:53:27 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Kire on Mar 1, 2015 2:53:27 GMT -5

so i'll break it
knowing what you said
the pain is what you make it

I am silver. I seek to heal those I come near. I reach with open hands for those who need someone to turn to. Each person has to see the beauty of life and it is my duty to show them. With my knife I split my flesh to let the ruby red run in rivulets for all to admire. With my eyes I cast my sapphire stare to shine and shimmer so others might see that someone understands. With my hands I mend cuts made with the wrong understanding, I hold closed wounds both visible and invisible to the eye. With my heart I tell people that they are important, I share my message with feeling and with purpose. With my brain I reason, I try to understand everyone so that they might understand me.

I know that there must be a balance. In order to be loved, you must love. In order to be believed, you must believe. In order to be understood, you must understand.

I hope you know now too.
I am Cruor Hughes. I am from D i s t r i c t t w o. I am Seventeen. I am male.
I am Cruor Hughes. I am from District two. I am Seventeen. I a m m a l e .
I am C r u o r H u g h e s. I am from District two. I am Seventeen. I am male.
I am Cruor Hughes. I am from District two. I am S e v e n t e e n . I am male.
Most of all, thank you for reading.

Lyrics {Anthem of the Lonely by Nine Lashes.}
Face Claim {Sterling Beaumon}.
Odair

sadly you are so mistaken
i will take you with a grain
and step into the changes
throw away the empty heart

Last Edit: Mar 5, 2015 15:58:20 GMT -5 by Kire

On hills and waves on stormy days.

Rosetta Retired Staff 1,872 POSTS last seen Aug 5, 2020 8:28:28 GMT -5	:: Cruor Hughes :: District Two :: {trigger warning} (fin) Mar 5, 2015 16:07:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Rosetta on Mar 5, 2015 16:07:21 GMT -5 Accepted!
	^^Made by the excellent Shrimp!