Nowhere to Run | {Elegant}

I don't know how long I've been here for. Counting the days worked for a while, yet many days went by without any notice. Time has no meaning now. The tiny shelf grows harder and harder with every passing day, and I can't help the thoughts running through my mind as my eyes remain fixed on the bottom of the shelf above me. The chances of making it out of this place alive becomes less as time passes on. How long has it been? A lot of time has had to pass by. My face is scruffy coated with facial hair. That doesn't grow in a day, or even a week. It takes a lot longer. My face has sunk in from the lack of food. My stomach eats my backbone every passing second. The sound of it begging for food has long passed by. I can't hear it anymore. It's just another sound ringing through my ears in the silence surrounding me.

Every positive thought has fled my mind, and now the lights are out. Maybe I should sleep. Rest my body, yet it's impossible. Maybe they want me weak. That has to be the plan otherwise they would've come and got me already. They would've tortured me. Beat me. Done whatever they had to do in order for me to get out of here. Even cutting my tongue out doesn't seem like a bad idea anymore. My family probably thinks I'm dead. They probably don't care that I'm alive trapped in some cell somewhere far from home. I miss her. Esme. I don't know how long it's been since she died, but I know she's done buried; she has to be. A single tear slides down my cheek, and I don't even care anymore. They've got what they want. Speaking takes more effort than I ever imagined. Breathing feels impossible - if it wasn't for my lungs moving on their own without my command, I'm almost positive I would be dead.

For a second, I feel like the world might actually crash down upon me. That my soul is lingering for some reason, and I'm ready to haunt them. To haunt everyone that's trapped me here, yet as I look around and place a hand on my chest, I realize I'm alive. My heart beats steadily shoving the blood through my body. My chest rises and falls with every breath I take no matter how much work it takes. Somehow I feel like I'm fading away. My soul doesn't want to stay inside my body any longer. And each night as the lights turn out, I pray for someone to take me away. Just end my life. Take me away for the world. Kill me. But my prayers fall on deaf ears. If in fact there is a higher being, he doesn't care about me. Why would a caring power let someone suffer like this?

You brought it on yourself. The sounds of the lights and cameras crashing down still stand out vividly in my mind. When I close my eyes, I can see them falling. I can see the smoke rolling from the justice building as a flame grows larger and larger with every passing second. None of that is real anymore. It's all in the past just like everything else. Esme. She doesn't exist anymore, at least not in this world. Her body left far too soon. And I didn't even get to say goodbye. (If only you could see me now...) Tears stain my eyes taking charge of my life, and all I can do is allow myself to break down and become a sobbing mess. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's too late for apologies though. I'm here. I'm away from my family. I tore it apart beyond repair - No, the capitol did that by taking her away; I just made it worse whenever I destroyed their precious district square.

First they came for her snatching her out of the room, and my heart dropped towards the floor. Fear flooded my veins as my eyes searched frantically for something to hold onto. My hands gripped the side of my pants as they jerked her away, and I knew soon the same would happen to me. I don't know what she did, but the peacekeepers aren't ones to mess with especially when they have a mission. (When do they not have a mission?) My heart bounds against my chest wall, and I can hear it beating inside my head with every breath I take. Every muscle inside my body shakes as they drag her away.

For the longest time, I pace the floor looking for some sort of distraction, something to take my mind off what's going on around me, but many questions fly through my mind. Many questions ricochet through my brain, yet not a one of them make sense. A hot sticky patch forms on the tip of my tongue, and I know nothing would change. Nothing would make any difference in the world, and right now I want to scream. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I beg for Esme to come and take me away. To end this war that's raging on inside me. I never meant the words I said to her as she was being taken away. I never meant to say those three dreaded words I hate you. I only hope she knew how much I actually love her, and how much I truly miss her now.

Relaxing on the metal shelf I've called my own, I stare at the one above me. The one that was once occupied by the girl who's name I never knew. The girl who tried to talk some sense into me. I don't know if she succeeded or not. I close my eyes fighting the tears that are forming because I can't cry. They can't see me at my weakest point, but that is now. My entire body aches, my stomach feasts on my insides, and a constant monster resides inside begging for more. Nothing satisfies it now. Nothing changes it, and nothing makes it better, but I take my mind off things when I try falling asleep. My face rests against the cold metal shelf for only a moment, and I can feel myself relaxing as I become comfortable with my surroundings once more -

SMASH!

The cell doors flies open slamming against the bars. My heart races pounding rapidly inside my chest. My entire body quivers as my eyes find the peacekeepers standing before me moving closer and closer. My hands plaster against the shelf, my nails dig for something to grab a hold of so they can't take me away like they did her. They can't pull me from this place, but they're so much stronger than my fragile body. They've feasted while I've been rotting in hell. An iron hand wraps around my body dragging me away from my comfort zone. My legs bounce against the ground as they force me into the motions they want me to move, but I don't resist - there's no point in it.

My legs feel like jello as I'm pushed along through the hall of the detention center. The cells growing smaller and smaller with every step I take. Fighting against them would only make things worse, yet cooperating won't do much better except lead me towards my fate a little faster. Whatever happens, I'm ready to meet Esme with my arms spread wide.

I'll fly home to her...

To the home in the sky.

Narration 664433
Thoughts ddbb99
"Hearing 997755"
"Speech bb7744"
(Other 999988)