L i l a c B a r d s l e y | D i s t r i c t T w o | F I N

She was your crutch, but here you are, falling into oblivion's grasp like a child fresh out of the womb. Who were you to even say what it felt like to lose a sibling, though? After all, she wasn't your sibling- she was your other half. What a pity, all the same. To lose a part of yourself is the most dastardly of crimes; It limits you with it's venom, a snake that never bit but left its mark like a birthright. It crushed you without even touching you and left you scarred without even so much as a word.

Truth be told, you knew who left you so blistered and burdened. They haunted your every waking hour and then, once you were situated in your bed, fast asleep and dead to the world, the visions would haunt you there, too.

Your greatest enemy is yourself.

But you would never admit that, now would you? Your mind works on, like a clock with it's tick tock tick tock pow and it's swish swoosh swish swoosh swang. However, no matter how many hours you put into fixing it up, it never quite works the same way it did when you first got it. Maybe you've broken it for good, but what use would it be of then? The correct answer is : it wouldn't.

Sometimes, when nobody is looking, you'll pull at your luscious brown hair and scratch at your porcelain skin; you'll bite at your voluminous lips and pick at your sickly thin thighs. Like a doll, like a doll. Like the sister you never had, like the sister you never had. Except you had anything and everything you could have wished for.

You had a face impervious to flaw, you had a body similar to canvas, you had a sweetness to you that made your attitude glow with personality. Everyone loved you except for yourself because  E v e r y t h i n g   w a s n ' t   e n o u g h .

Then again, you were just daddy's little girl following orders like a soldier. Boom, boom. How ironic, seeing as you've been the one with blood on her hands before. It stained your nails a grotesque red and every inch of it made you seethe with a fire you had never yet experienced. You hadn't even touched her within weeks before her death, yet her screams play on loop in your head.

Lilac !!

Lilac !!

Lilac !!

Sometimes your own screams play on loop in your head,

Bambi !!

Bambi !!

Bambi !!

But then she drifted away like a leaf in a stream and suddenly you were a stranger. Even you didn't know who you were, but then again, who truly did?

True or false : You killed Bambi Bardsley

False.

True or false : You killed Bambi Bardsley

F a l s e .

True or False : You killed Bambi Bardsley

I   d  o   n   '   t     k   n   o   w .

Maybe it was because she looked like you and it was your natural instinct to defend what you thought was yours. But how could that be why when she wasn't even yours to begin with? Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days and days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months but she still wouldn't speak to you. It wouldn't matter if she had made such a quick change in heart anyway, because she was dead dead dead g o n e .

You were like a batter in the game of life, struck out one too many times and is now on their way to the bench with no return in sight. You would be so lost if it weren't for that little strand of sanity left in you. Swear up and down all you'd like, but you will never be half the woman that  B a m b i  B l o s s o m   B a r d s l e y   was. She had one thing that you would never get your hands on and that was dying in peace. You would always know that it was you who had shoved those words down her throat like the venom venom venom of a snake, that had pushed the stake through her heart hard enough to kill her, that had given her the knife and told her to end everything now.

E n d i t
E n d i t
E n d i t

But she couldn't. She wouldn't. So you made her.

But nobody would know it was you because the one thing you were the best at was lying.

The thing was, was that the thing Bambi was best at was telling the truth.

That box she had hidden under her bed, that you gave to your dad without a care in the word when you were looking through her belongings after her "suicide"? That would be your downfall. You were never one for looks, though, now were you?

You were daddy's little princess, after all.