a fallen star { riots last words }

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, 

How I wonder what you are. 

Up above the world so high, 

Like a diamond in the sky. 

My star had shone so bright, it has been the biggest one in the sky. I had been so sure that it would burn forever, that it would remain the center of attention, but now, now as my blood forms a halo around my body, painting the white earth red, I know that it is dying. I watch as it climbs out around me, like a slippers web, sinking beneath the snow, but not fading. My blood would never fade- it might from the snow, but would it fade from their minds? Their memories? Would my blood haunt them, I sure hoped it would. I hoped that the girl from six would remember what it felt like to drive her blade into my body, I hoped that she would remember what it felt like to take away a life, to know that it was by her hands that another person would not wake to see another sunrise, I hoped that my face would be engraved into the back f her eyelids, I hoped, out of everyone here, she would not forget- diet she owe me that much?

When the blazing sun is gone, 

When he nothing shines upon, 

Then you show your little light, 

Twinkle, twinkle, all the night. 

Isn't this the part where memories that make me smile are meant to dance around in my mind? Ins’t this the part, the part where the darkness slowly creeps in, those memories a supposed to set me at ease, to make me accept death? So why? Why is my mind blank? Maybe I should start, start with this times my mother did all those great things- but what great things did she do? She didn't tell me about my father, I knew nothing about him, so I could not hold onto his smile, or his love because it never existed. Did my mother know that I was dying, was she hurting? Should I want her to hurt? All these questions slip through my mind and I begin to panic, tears welling in my crystal blue eyes as I try to climb to my feet- but my body wont move, it is like my limbs are made from lead, so heavy, so very heavy.

And there is only one thing I can think as Jordan’s arms wrap themselves around my body: I don't want to die.

Then the traveler in the dark, 

Thanks you for your tiny spark, 

He could not see which way to go, 

If you did not twinkle so

A scarlet path leads the way. A path of red, a path of blood, my blood. I want to tell Jordan to stop, to leave me because I was dead, but I dont- you know why? Because I am selfish. I don't want to be on my own. I want these people to be around me, to hold me, to save me from the wretched darkness that was eating away at my limbs. I could no longer feel my left foot… wait, thats right, I didn't have a left foot anymore, no wonder why I can feel it. That bitch cut it away burring the bloodbath. Silent tears run down my face, each tear a prayer to keep my heart beating.

And as those tears fell, I can only think one thing: I don't want to die.

In the dark blue sky you keep, 

And often through my curtains peep, 

For you never shut your eye, 

Till the sun is in the sky. 

My vision is blurry, Quartz’ blonde hair so bright against the blood which painted her skin. I didn't really know the girl, but I knew, that today, she had given it all she had to protect people she barely even knew, to protect me as well, and that was more than even my mother had given me. I wanted to tell her thank you but the words cant form properly in my mouth so instead I just stare at her, hoping that she would do what I couldn't and protect both Jordan and Jeff from the unavoidable: death.

And as I watch her blonde head bobble in and out of my vision, the only thing I can think is that I don't want to die.

As your bright and tiny spark, 

Lights the traveler in the dark. 

Though I know not what you are, 

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Blinking my eyes travel over to the boy who was dragging my body through the snow, followed by Jeff. I look at them both, somehow my lips able to spread into a smile and despite how heavy my arm is I am able to reach out, my fingers grazing Jeff’s arm and Jordan sets me down. With my other hand I manages to cling to the torn material of Jordan coat. “Death Buddies, right?” I manage to say, blood beginning to dribble from the edge of my lips. I remembered that dinner all to well. that dinner where the tension had been so hot that even I myself had not managed to kill it with my stupid jokes. But then I remember how Levi and Jordan had managed to put aside their differences, and how we had all decided then and there that we would stick together, the unlikely alliances.

“Death buddies, till the end, right,”

And even as the words slip past my lips, even as all the pain is numbed, I think to myself desperately, thats I don't want this to be the end of Riot. I don't want to fucking die.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

How I wonder what you are. 

Up above the world so high, 

Like a diamond in the sky. 

My eyes close and my star falls. It plummets towards the earth, it light fading, its life ending. But it doesn't reach the earth surface as it fades, it becomes nothing, and just like that star, my heart fades too. It takes it last beat, my mind in sync but my heart ignores my pleas to live. One last beat and silence. One last beat and Daphne Riot is dead. Just like her star, faded into the mind and memories of those thats she touched, to no longer be remember, but to fade away into history. A forgotten word in a long book.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

How I wonder what you are. 

How I wonder what you are.