saoirse | wanderer } {fin | Hunger Games: The RPG

Avalon Retired Staff 1,291 POSTS Pronouns: They/Them last seen Oct 24, 2016 10:04:26 GMT -5 when i plant a fat ass cracker bitch i expect her to stay planted	saoirse \| wanderer } {fin Jul 12, 2015 15:30:08 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Avalon on Jul 12, 2015 15:30:08 GMT -5 Saoirse "freedom" Nineteen Wanderer odair fc: beatrice simion
	Last Edit: Jul 23, 2015 14:40:07 GMT -5 by Avalon *"solitaire something you consider rare"* credit to zoë

Avalon
Retired Staff

1,291 POSTS
Pronouns: They/Them
last seen Oct 24, 2016 10:04:26 GMT -5

when i plant a fat ass cracker bitch i expect her to stay planted

saoirse | wanderer } {fin Jul 13, 2015 2:53:22 GMT -5

Post by Avalon on Jul 13, 2015 2:53:22 GMT -5

__________________________________

S A O I R S E
__________________________________

freedom | nineteen | wanderer

"my reality is just different than yours-"

[What if we lived in a world where craziness is encouraged?
Where we could be as mad as we liked and we were applauded for it?]

My father once told me that the world is best viewed in the eyes of an artist. One who paints her way through the harsh reality, made of a blank canvas that screamed in desperation for the colors of the pure and true. My eyes do not deceive me, for it is my mind that wet washes and splatters the canvas in an array of media that hides the truth. Secrets buried deep underneath, ones that dwell in the comfort of the tight knit mind. They were never my issue, however, for secrets are kept hidden behind white lies or ass kissing, and I've never been the one to hold back the truth from anyone, no matter how unbearable. For the truth always finds surface in a sea of lies, and no matter how long you try to drown them out, they always just float back up.

"You are the truth."

"I am the truth?"

I am the truth.
A twisted, distorted truth that one only gets in the deepest pits of the mind. The truth that lies untouched by even the most tender soul, one that has been hidden away in darkness. And it's always been there. The truth that lived in the crevices for far too long to even be considered truth to those who are wise. I am false hopes. I am unfulfilled desires. I am the paradise that you wish you could escape to in your time of need. I am the world that is only dreamt up, the one that takes you away from reality, but only for such time. For I live in a world that was once told in stories, one where promises are kept and hopes and desires are finally fulfilled. A world that was once a dream came to reality ever since I stepped my delicate self out of the gates. They served as an entrance to the promise land, but never would I expect for the entrance to close and the exit to vanish and the dream world I found myself in became my reality.

"You're crazy-"

"You're just sad-"

"You need help-"

I'm not crazy. I don't need help.
[For crazy people don't realize they're crazy. Crazy people don't realize they do crazy things.]

"I know what it is that drives my heart,
I know what is right and true deep within.
And when you let that slip away,
you're left with a sore heart,
one that is too full to let anything else in."

A heart too full, only left with a ribcage that blossoms in arrays of flowers that spring with each new way the world is seen through my pure green eyes. For nothing is true, yet everything is reality in my eyes, but the world is seen differently in mine than others and it is all untrue all within itself and the reality distorts and becomes a dream. A dream that I cannot leave, for I have been trapped permanently ever since I wandered through the gates that separate me from the real world.

A world lived with my head in the clouds.
My long, ginger hair cascades like a down pour of rain that slithers and is devoid of shape along my shoulders and back. A life lived in nothing but clouds to block my path, there is bound to be thunder storms. And with thunderstorms come rain that flows from my eyes and down my face. They burn trails into my freckled cheeks, dragging the ink down with them, until they hit the edge of my soft jawline. They drip- drip- drip out of existence and out of mind, until new trails form. And they linger for a while, and with time they disappear into nothing but vague memories of times that once were.

My mind travels back through a vague timeline, one that never ends along an infinite spectrum. Gliding along the future that only moves forward, and a past that has been left behind. For flashes of my life hitting the ground and shattering at my own fingertips race and I am left with nothing but a loss of words and a lingering mood. There has always been moments in particular, though. One's that recur time after time after time again and again. And it flashes and stops and the play button is pressed and it begins with-

["Promise me you'll forever be my little girl."

I nod my head, for words can't form in my mind into a sentence. I've never been one to express my feelings to others. I've never been one to show much emotion, besides the involuntary happy or sad swings. I can feel my throat choking up as though there's something stuck inside and while it digs it's way trying to get through, it doesn't exist. The tears rush to find entrances and while I try to hold them back, they violently threaten to release themselves. My lips tremble along with my fingertips and I'm sent into a trance for but a moment until his arms wrap around my tender body. I keep mine hung loose by my side and it's not until I feel his tears drop onto mine that my own race along their tracks and onto him.

"I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, daddy.

Please don't go."]

And it keeps moving along, flashing through visions of celebrations, hard times, happy moments, struggles and finally stops at-

[It was as though the weather was destined to match such a time, where the world stopped and everything was still and silent. The sky had shifted from a pale blue, scattered with clouds that one could get lost for eternity in. It was a dull gray, filled with nothing but thunder that boomed and echoed throughout. The sound ricocheted across the graveyard, and I could swear it was masking up the sound of breaking hearts that threatened to split me in two. No words could form in my head as a goodbye, farewell to a man who once was my world. For words were never used to express such a feeling ever before, and they surely weren't needed now. And so I stand in silence, breathing- thunder- and rain hitting the tombstones were the only sounds that were made. As I stare down at the grave memories flash through my mind on an endless timelime of me and him, one's that were full of happy, sad, angry, shocked- for these are the moments that I will forever cherish.

"Promise me you'll forever be my daddy."]

And I am forever one to keep my promises.
It was then I packed a backpack full of clothes, knives, matches and food to last me a good while until I learned how to hunt and cook. I'd promised myself a better reality, one that would be made of dreams that were made up of a dosage of morphling. It raced through my bloodstream and twisted my vision. For I had entered a world where dreams came true and I felt happy, scared and shocked again. And I enter the gates, into a world I created all on my own.

And in this world the things distort themselves and I am left in amazement and wonder and horror and it's all worth it in the end. For the reality is cruel and while this world can be too, with the twenty feet tall men that follow me through the night and the wild thing that likes to whisper in my ear that 'I'm his'. And while I run and run and run away from these things and back to my own reality I fail to realize that this is my own reality and while others realities are cruel and harsh, the same is with mine. For the problems of poverty and struggle to them come in the form of beings that haunt me in the night, and I am forever running from them, trying to free myself from their grasp. But it's pointless.

["One cannot have their cake and eat it too."]

And I am forever lost, for the gate has closed and my fate has been sealed. And I am forever lost. Wandering through these woods that keep me ever so locked inside them for the rest of eternity.

Last Edit: Jul 19, 2015 14:16:56 GMT -5 by Avalon: fc switch

"solitaire something you consider rare"

credit to zoë

Avalon Retired Staff 1,291 POSTS Pronouns: They/Them last seen Oct 24, 2016 10:04:26 GMT -5 when i plant a fat ass cracker bitch i expect her to stay planted	saoirse \| wanderer } {fin Jul 14, 2015 5:56:25 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Avalon on Jul 14, 2015 5:56:25 GMT -5 finished!
	*"solitaire something you consider rare"* credit to zoë

анзие (Anz) Retired Staff 1,547 POSTS last seen Jun 14, 2015 16:34:46 GMT -5 probably away	saoirse \| wanderer } {fin Jul 14, 2015 18:37:32 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by анзие (Anz) on Jul 14, 2015 18:37:32 GMT -5 accepted!
	✨ made this. she is my spirit animal. basic table guide