Paige Hope-D8

Doesn't it hurt, when everyone abandons you? When the person you love most dies in front of your eyes, but so far away. If you don't know the answers to those questions, it does hurt. It hurts more than you can imagine. Exactly ten days ago my twin sister, Lily, was taken away from me. She spent four days training secretly and then a day training privately with some person for her interview, and then her interview, and then five days of hell. I can do the math, ten days exactly. That was when Circe Lyon and Orion Hammerfell stabbed my sister in the eye, and she died with my name in her mouth. She would ashamed of Preston now. Ashamed of me for wanting to die now. I remember about an hour ago I was screaming at the tv screen, Preston threw something at it, and he walked out of the door.

He came back later with a fire in his eyes, and then the peacekeepers had come. They said he had burned down a house with a family inside of it. My brother had gone insane. My sister just stood there and watched the tv screen and cried. Our older siblings had been our guardian angels, but now they can't help Lily or me anymore, Preston is gone. Eva is heartbroken. I want to die.

Lily had been doing so well and I had hoped she would live, but she didn't. On day four, for a moment I thought she had died because during that day, we were triplets, but no. Lily survived. I was glad, but then a day later she killed someone. I was then terrified of my Lily, and then she died not the Lily I knew. I know the Capitol had changed her, and so like my brother, my goal now is to burn the Capitol to the ground.

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I look like Lily, but I'm not her. Honestly. Back when we were together, there was no way to tell us apart, and after Lily was reaped, people who didn't know me were surprised and were scared, as if I was another doppleganger of Lily. I have the same light blonde hair as her, same dark green eyes as her. I even have the same build as her. Like Lily I am weak and small. My body has barely any muscle on it, my arms are weak and scrawny, and I can barely lift anything because of how weak I am.

I am also very thin from a hunger that eats away my stomach slowly. The disease that infects everyone of district eight. I stand at the same height as Lily as well. Four feet five inches. Smaller than most kids in my grade. I got teased about that a lot, until Lily volunteered. Then people just walked around me quietly, my blonde hair long down next to my hips. I know as soon as I walk outside now, people will try to stay as far away from me as possible. It is bad luck to be near a sibling of a tribute in the hunger games.

There is one thing that sets me apart from Lily. On Lily's right hand, she has five fingers. On my right hand, I have six. I was born with that deformity, another reason I am teased so much. I am weird in their respects because I can't even take out a pencil without someone staring. I guess my family is cursed with bad luck, well, everyone except Eva who is blessed with perfect friends and a beauty beyond compare. I wish I was her. As beautiful as an angel, and I am stuck with the same blond hair as her, yet nowhere near her beauty with my height and the fact that my body is frail and small.

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Like Lily, I am extremely shy around people I do not know. But once I get to know them, I am a happy bouncy thirteen year old girl as I have been throughout my whole life. While my sister chose to learn to act, which she used to make the character we often shared in stories. The bad little Lily. My sister was the actress you see, I was the storyteller. I would tell stories about the dragons invading and taking over district eight. I told stories about everything really. The bad little Lily was a character I made up in one. Lily seemed to follow the story. The bad little lily was naughty. She would go naked running around the district and swear insanely, attack others and break things. I have what most people say, "An active imagination."

I am not too vain like the people in the Capitol, I don't stare at myself in the broken mirror in the room Lily and I used to share, I don't bother about makeup or other girlish things like the other girls at school. Because of the shyness I always emitted, other's would rarely come up and introduce themselves to me, so I only heard snippets of their gossiping, but it was always enough to paint a mental picture of what they like and don't like. Lily and I continued to just play games with each other even as we grew up. Who says a twelve year old can't play hide and seek for fun because their too old? In my eyes, we never grew up.

I should also mention, I am also stubborn. If I have my mind set on something I will not stop until I do it. When I was eight I was scarred for life, when I had sneaked a peak at the tv screen during a games. It was a fantasy Lily and I always shared, knowing what they were really like. Preston and Eva always stopped us at the door though, but before Lily saw it when she was twelve and cried out, I had seen it when I was eight, and I didn't tell her because I knew she was even more fragile than me, and I was proved correct in that sense when I heard her scream and cry when she saw the finale of the 69th games.

I guess I am like her, and not like her.

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When I was born, I was born in the cradle of my sister's- Eva's- arms, crying my head off. Lily was born under the shadow of my brother. I guess we turned out like our older siblings that we were born under. Me under and angel, her under a devil. She became the bad little Lily, and I became the obedient daughter that my parents loved because I cleaned the plates and did my chores when asked. Lily on the other hand broke everything as we grew up, I knew in the back of my head that she would become the bad little Lily we both had feared.

As we grew up, we grew up best friends. We did most of the same things, had all the same classes throughout school, we even giggled together at the same jokes. People teased us for being "Ghost girls," but I don't care. When we were separated during those short periods, people teased us both for being so small and weak, and teachers got angry at me for daydreaming a lot, with my head in the clouds.

As we grew up even more, we kept getting more and more angry about Preston and Eva not seeing the games or even the Recap video. But that changed when I was eight. I snuck a peak during the 65th games and saw Beatrice Birch behead and immolate someone. It felt as if my eyes were burning. I kept it to myself to not scare Lily, but I continued our usual routine of trying to get into the tv room, but I was always the one to let slip that we were outside, a cough, a misplaced toe onto the creaky floorboard, I kept Lily thinking it was all an accident, but I just didn't want her to see it. I guess I became her protector along with my brother and other sister.

But then, Lily volunteered to go into the games. I was terrified, how could my sister even survive the bloodbath? I was then surprised, hopeful she would make it through, but then the girl from district two had a knife, that flew into the girl that was once my sister's eye. I then vowed, that if either of the district two's survived the hunger games, I would make sure they got a knife in their eyes, just you wait and see.