cealey wren {d12} fin cb

Dear mother,

I wish I knew

when the rain would come

so I could tell you that I

need you

to be here for me.

Dear mother,

I wish you'd braid

my rat tails for hair again.

To feel your fingers on my dirty head

gives me security, I'm clean and at home

it showed me that you would

be here for me.

Dear mother,

I wish that one hundred gifts and

a thousand kisses against your skin

would compare to happiness

but it doesn't

but I'd still give all I have

so that you would be here

for me.

Dear mother,

I wish I was your shadow

to be there for you always

when the moon goes down

and the sun comes up

I'd be waiting for you

and I would hope that

you would be here for me.

Dear mother,
I wish that
when you looked in the mirror
you wouldn't be covered in sin
And that when you hugged me
I wouldn't have the drunken scent on my skin
but it doesn't matter, not really
because I just want you
to be here for me.

Dear mother,

I wish you didn't remind me

or define me

or forcefully deny me away

from your heart

because I just want your energy

once more

I just want you

to be here for me.

Dear mother,
I wish you knew
that I am the happiest
and saddest person
you know and you raised.
Tears fall but smiles are drawn
and throughout it all
I've been here for you.

Dear mother,

I wish you'd trace lines

on my skin like you once did

again

because it made me feel okay

and happy and carefree

but now, when I trace the lines

on your broken china

I do it because I want you to know

I'll always be here for you.

Dear mother, 

I wish I knew 

when the rain would come 

so I could tell you that
you need me

to be here for you.

I want to feel whole
with these places
these feelings
these people

but when you say
the things you say
and do
the things you do
it makes it hard
when there is less of the world
to love.