Nikko/Capitol/FIN

Name – Nikko

Age -26

Appearance – So apparently people say that I am attractive. I have never really noticed, but then again those around me tend to have a different perspective on life than I do. I have always been on the taller side, I stopped growing around 6’ 2” in early college, and my skin is a natural olive color. This combination apparently makes me “Tall, dark and handsome.” Add that with my dark, longer, hair and grey eyes and I suddenly become “exotic”. I mean, I was born in Panem, how can I really be exotic? They tend to ignore my bumpy nose and heavy, thick eyebrows and focus on my naturally high cheekbones. They loves to say that my jaw is strong and that my beard is “such a turn on”. I always thought that my beard made my lips look even thinner than they are, and I thought that my cheeks were too hollow. But again, people have very different perspectives when they look from the outside.

I think that I am on the thinner side, but from my constant gym time over the years I have developed a set of abs people say I should be proud of. It’s not like I made my body into this shape for the purpose of being someone else’s eye candy, I just enjoy working out. I always thought my muscles looked a bit, contorted, and almost forced into position, rather than having natural growth which I would prefer. My arms and legs have a nice smoothness to them that suggests that they have muscles, but they don’t scream at you like my torso does, which I enjoy the subtlety they provide, it is a nice reprieve from all of the unwanted attention. All in all people say that I am hot I just do not see it in myself

Persona – I stare at the world, pondering on the thoughts and emotions of the people around me. The bustle of it all is quite confusing to me. Everyone seems to only care about the superficial, and never the intentions or the meaning behind their actions or thoughts. They go around chasing the next new trend or screaming over each other over events that lie outside my range of comprehension. It is not that I cannot understand the reasoning behind their actions, it is simply because I cannot hear them. Silence fills the air around me, I just watch their mouths move and their faces dance with expressions. They usually do not notice the silent guy sitting on the park bench waiting for the public transport to come. But what is unique about my situation is that I can see everything around me in almost perfect clarity. Being left out allows me to analyze the world as it moves across the universe. I have become an observer of the world around me

That’s not to say that I don’t become lonely at times. It can difficult at times being in a room full of hearing people because I try to read so many lips at once that I tend to lose track of the conversation. It becomes emotionally exhausting and frustrating. I have a device that will speak for me even then I still feel ready to give up. There’s only so much that I can do on my end to include myself. While it sucks to be left out I know I will always have those people who will include me, or at least make an effort to. When I am included I become a very outgoing person, one who is warm and engaging. I can laugh just like normal hearing people, I still have a sense of humor. I enjoy engaging with others and really listening to their thoughts and feelings for the day. I truly and deeply care about those around me and I work and keeping my friendships for as long as I can, but every relationship is a two way street.

People call me weird for being athletic in the Capitol, they ask me why I willingly tire myself out for a “sport”. They say that I should “relax” and “enjoy the comforts of the Capitol”. I get too bored just with sitting around and withering away in my couch while these people ramble on about the latest gossip. If I’m going to have a conversation with you it needs to be real and deep, not that I’m against small talk as well. I work out to keep my stress away, to keep my blood pumping and to ensure that I don’t get bored. I get bored way too easily, going to the gym and learning the different types of sports really help me out. Basketball and swimming have so far been my favorites but there is still so much for me to learn.

History –I naturally lost my hearing before I became a full toddler, at least which is what my mom used to tell me before she became silent. She always blamed herself for something out of her control, digging herself deeper and deeper into herself. My dad left because he was not even sure that she wanted to be helped. I started to feel the same way. When I would try to talk with her and she would only reply with a blank stare, I could not handle it a lot of the times. It was hard enough being the only deaf person but to feel ignored by the one who was supposed to care and love you was hard.

My twin was always there for me. He learned to sign alongside me, he has tried his hardest to integrate me into normal conversations. He has pretty much acted as my interpreter for most of my life. He still pretty much is my interpreter whenever we go out together, people assume that I am his Avox until he becomes my voice. It has gotten me into some trouble when people assume that I am an Avox but my brother is always there for me, either explaining to the Peacekeepers or explaining why I am wearing civilian clothing and not the Avox uniform. I know there’s a way I can repay him for everything that he was given me. We still live together but buying the groceries every other week is no meaningful enough.

People assume since I am deaf that I do not have a job, or that I am incapable of even having something remedial as an assistant. Some people do not know that I’m actually a senior manager at an accounting firm, one of the youngest in fact at age 27. I have had to work my way up but my efficiency with numbers was bit unprecedented, even for me. Work provides me with an interpreter so even when employees of mine do not know or understand sign language I can still easily communicate with them on a daily basis, I’ve had the same interpreter since when I started as an intern in high school, but he has easily become a great friend and ally. I have been lucky enough to have some great people in my life, and I will always do my best to keep them.