{ putting my fingers to my head } // { odile dp }

You are going to die.

You. Who is "you", exactly? Me? I'm Odile. Odile Quintanilla. I'm seventeen. I don't remember my birthday. My mother hated me, my father died, and both are my fault. I have never known friends, or love, or how kind life can be before now.

Paige, Jeq, Leo. Three friends. Maybe I wasn't friends to them, but they were friends to me. Four of us thrown into a terrible situation. Fought together, lived together, died alone. Died. Death. I wanted to die before I came here and realize just how permanent it is. There is so much beauty in life, so much, and I didn't know until it was too late. Now I am staring at the morning sky, my weapon dropped too far to reach for, missing sound in half my head, and I need more time.

"Not yet.." I choke out, eyes darting around for somebody to listen. A metallic taste makes it way past my throat and onto my lips. Every inch of me is on fire, too many wounds to count, too many to single one out and tell a doctor "Hey, this hurts, fix me". There is no fixing, not anymore.

"Fuck," I mutter, using all my strength to wipe the blood from my mouth. "Guys.." I call out. My voice is too weak, too quiet. "Guys!" I yell, which was a mistake, as I instantly break into a cough. God, I have never felt pain like this before.

I have never been a firey girl, filled with passion. I was always empty, searching for my purpose, or at least more booze. But today, I am on fire. It feels like I've been tied to a stake and set aflame. The fire rages on, even after the coughs subside.

My throat hurts more now, the pain in every inch of my body becoming worse and worse. I silently pray that Jeq and Leo are still around. Perhaps they have already left, hoping to save their own skins. I wouldn't blame them. I would want to save my own skin, too.

"Guys.." I begin. Even if they are not around, even if I cannot see them, I will speak. It hurts to talk, to move. To live. But I will speak. "Tell my mom-" Another fit of coughing. "Tell my mom.. 'fuck you.'"

Everything disappears. The pain is gone. I am numb. I rise onto my feet, like being raised into the arena. Slow, steady.

My surroundings, flashing into sight, are the same. A forest, thick with trees. The lush green grass is still beneath me, no longer stained with my blood. I swear, beyond the tree tops, I see the sun shining bright.

And then I see myself.

Her hair is not matted, skin not sickly pale. She has both ears! She wears makeup, even. Dark pink lips and heavy brown around the eyes. She smiles. "You made it."

Oh. I know exactly who this is.

She holds out her arms for an embrace. I grin at her, walking slowly at first, then quickening my pace. As I'm getting close, her smile falls as she sees the rage in my eyes.

I punch that bitch square in the face.

{ end. }