kristian ognyanov · district nine · fin

He's surrounded by hundreds of people with hundreds of stories, those stories being so great and mighty, so breathtaking that he feels as if he can be considered close to nothing compared to them. He wants to learn all about those stories, gathering around in a circle around the story teller where all attention would be given towards them; the only sound able to be heard is the world surrounding them and the person telling their story. Kristian would pay attention closely as they would pour out all their memories as if they were to be wringing a wet shirt out.

He believes that he's nothing compared to the stories they've told; the mighty tales that they had of themselves. What is he compared to those-- small? Weak? Useless? All of the above would be a good answer, as he feels small and weak, he feels useless due to how much they've done in their life and Kristian has done close to nothing in his life that's useful.

As a child he always liked talking to people, learning about them and figuring out what makes them churn and figuring out what they strive for in life. Happiness, success, romance? What do they desire to achieve within their lifetime and what has made them want that goal so much? Why do they do what they do? The male's older sister was his biggest role-model, playing the largest piece in his puzzle of his own story, his own wondering mind of what does he want to achieve in life; what's the purpose of his heartbeat to continue, his purpose of a joyful life for him. 

Filing through emotions is a tough thing for him, almost like he were to be trying to find a needle in a haystack. It's not a pleasurable thing for him to try and figure out what the other is thinking, he's too nervous about himself and if he's doing anything right. Taking a hit at whatever is happening in his life and not thinking about it until it has been said and gone, to leave him in a panic of did he say something right? The fear of saying something wrong or stepping on the wrong line for a conversation horrified him. He's scared of many things, this is something that most people couldn't tell from his most odd personality of changing from shy and conserved to loud and talkative when they're around someone they know well.

Growing up, he's had many friends with many things that could be told. Kristian loved their stories as they unfolded with him, earning more and more to tell later on in their lives to other people of the memories they had. One of his friends was very special to him, not in the way of romance, but in the way of inspiration.and something that was a life lesson-- a treasure that most things would fly out of his head almost as soon as they entered it. Her name was Dakota, this friend of his that gave him a lesson in life creating a new theme for his story- you're perfect in your own way, do not let others describe it for you. Perfection is found in each single one of us, why else would we be breathing? We're perfect for being human, perfect for being something even if it doesn't seem like much.

He finds this as something everyone should follow, but he himself doesn't. The male has crowned himself with shuns and insults towards himself as the crown, not believing anyone or any sort of compliment that's thrown towards him because he's afraid of growing attached to them like he had with Dakota. She was one person in his life that he didn't talk to much, but when he did it would almost be always filled with joy and happiness. A smile always planted upon both of their faces as they talked and socialized with each other. Something they enjoyed doing, getting to know each other.

They had grown apart as they grew older slightly, but her direct impact on him never flew away through their small time of separation. During that time, she had been pounded, stomped on, wailed on about her looks and her personality. It seemed that she kept her head high throughout all of it, trying to fight her way through all of the insults that'd be thrown towards her as she walked throughout District Nine. Nobody seemed to have respect for her. He thought this was never going to get to her-- she had been fighting her battle for a long time.

And every moment after it was an actual living hell.

Every intake of breath was one where she wasn't there.

Every time he let it out, he'd be wishing that she would be standing right next to him, making him enjoy every moment he has with her because she had so much energy that it would last decades.

But all of that is broken and stomped into dust by society.

If any of his belief that she'd be able to live through that fight were to be true, she would have been breathing still. The girl that was so bright and a huge ball of energy inside the area of the district he lived in. Dakota took as much of the abusive words that she could until it couldn't be taken anymore and her breathes had suddenly counted down to one where blade would meet skin where the body that belonged to it would never live again and fall limp onto the ground as their heart stopped beating.

As the stars would rise and take place for the sun, there was no questioning as the stars told their own stories. They might not form an astrological sign like his mother always spoke about-- which he found himself seeking most of the time; they tell their own story through how big they are and how close together they are, the small with the big, the big with the small, collecting all in one congregation where they'd be giving a show to the people watching as they'd stare up at the sky and see the beauty that is uncovered at night. A sunset that could be sold as masterpieces as paintings would be the last stage of the sun before the moon comes around to show it's white color, illuminating the night.

Brown hair covers the top of his head, scattered across his forehead and not meaning much as he looks into his mirror that all he sees is failure. He's about average weight for his height, being 148 pounds and 5'10" tall. He has big lips resting under that nose of his, almost forming a triangle of sorts with the shape it owns. Kristian has small ears that would explain easily his everlasting refusal to take any compliments, as they mean nothing to his ears and they're all just lies.

The male normally stands in a self-endured stance as he would be staring at the ground or his hands that have been wrapped by his sweatshirt sleeve to never want to let go; reminding him of how much he doesn't want to let go of all the memories that he holds close to him and all the people that he's met and is so thankful for, even though he isn't even sure if he's worth it to keep in contact with anyone. Kristian never wants to release of the little bit of self-belief that he has inside of him after all of these years of realizing that everyone's so much more bigger than he is.

Let's just say he's holding onto his life just like the friend he had used to own.

Though this time, he's going to stay strong. He'll build a wall that nobody can break through and he won't trust anybodies belief because it's all wrong. The only ones allowed in are the people he knows and trusts already, the people that he wants to keep close to him through his driven mind of never trusting someone.

He writes down in the journal in his hands, finally thinking of something to start the story about himself.

"God, help me."