give my gun away when it's loaded | calypso/phoebe [blitz]

phoebe.

Like a broken string on a violin my heart pulls at my chest. Without constraint I will tumble. I no longer had anyone to catch me because I was in this very moment alone. Calypso..the enforcer of the code. I crumble beneath its boot, because I deserve it. I deserve it more then anything in this world, my knife has cut too deep, my rivers run too wild. My lips fester with the burning wounds in my lips, my hear still rings from the sound of my drum bursting beneath the sharp edge of that knife.

I was brought her to be made a fool of, Calypso was ruthless, she only wanted to make me pay a heavier tax, and I deserve it, because the code says so. Because she says so. I feel her presents in my room, she was hear to pound her chest and puff her cheeks. I have never felt this fear before, it indulges the core of my heart, forcing me to ache. I sit up from my bed, wrapping my fingers around one another, I bow my head for no one can deny the enforcer.

"Phoebe...I'm Sorry" she says.

I stare to her in disbelief she has stepped down, her guard now fallen dead. I feel all of my agony brim to the edge of my glass and it streams over ever so gently. My tears begin to fall, and I feel shame for showing my weakness. I cover my face with my bruised hands, and I feel my shattered rips poke at my skin. Each breathe bringing me torment. My voice was taken by a wicked sea witch, for I could not speak. I simply reach out my hand, longing to feel her touch and longing to feel a love that I so wrongly deserve.

phoebe.

I could feel the heat of her breathe hissing above my head. Her shrills of distress, she wanted me so badly to let sound echo from my lips but I was incapable. I feel the stiffness of my body, as if a thousand bees had just driven the end of their abdomen into my flesh. 

My hand falls back down to my side, she denies me the pleasure of feeling her warmth, she refused to assure me the love that I long for, the love that stabbed me so viciously in my back. 

"You didn't leave me with much of a choice," she stutters out. I feel my fingers cluster. I wanted so badly to be angry, to shout out that she is at fault, and that she could have changed the rules, but in reality that was my own stupidity. I broke a set of rules that I knew almost too well. I betrayed those that I love most, and I had known the consequences. I was at fault for my own pain, my own suffering. I was poison the the sisterhood. 

I rub my fingers along the wounds that still fester upon my lips. I reach out forcefully taking her hand, and shoving it painfully against my mouth. I let out a slight grunt because the force sends a shock threw my face. "I did this, I don't want you to hold the blame. I am going to ruin the bond that us sister have. I deserve to be destroyed." I say, my voice coming out much louder and full of guilt then I had fully intended. 

I cant help but feel rivers of water snakes slither from my tear ducts. I watch as they collide with Caly's hand, the burn of salt so familiar with my cheeks these past few days. I close my eyes shivering with the idea of walking out of that door, of never seeing my sisters faces again. Though all of this I rightfully deserve.