jake brantley d1 | fin

eighteen. district one. male. Career

I guess you could say I'm an easygoing sort of guy.

It's hard for me, though, when everyone around me seems to want to hide their feelings with all sorts of mixed messages. You don't really know how to interact with people unless they're willing to tell you about things, air things out. Sometimes life deals you shit, you know? But eventually it all blows over. People really just need to stop getting so uptight about all the little things. Sure, maybe so-and-so was unfair or said something to you, but it doesn't do anyone any good to stew about things like that. Half the time they probably meant it as a joke, anyways. I'm always ready for giving advice, at least, if you want to talk.

A pack of beer and a nice heartfelt conversation clears up everything - resentment, misunderstandings, alienation. No need to play complicated mind games. I suppose that makes me not like the typical Careers, but I've gotten this far on my skill and intelligence. People seem to think I work hard, but I don't really think that's the case.

I didn't really have a typical childhood, after all. My parents were jewelers who didn't really drill the Career mentality into me, and my older sister ended up becoming an artist. I only started training from middle school when the guest speaker let us try out his weapons, and I decided I liked them. Training's fun, after all, getting to hang out with the Careers and spar together even if I'm not gonna make it to the top of the academy. It's all kind of silly, actually, people getting mad at each other for a title most of them don't really have a chance at winning.

I like talking to other people. It's fascinating how differently they think from me; like, sometimes they're completely wrong in their opinions but it's still interesting to know. Even the crazy people. I like to think I'm self-aware enough to recognize my own eccentricities, after all.

For one, I don't really look like my classmates. My hair's much longer, scraggly locks hastily tied up when training. I finally look like a grown-up instead of a kid now that I've managed to fill out my beard and mustache, and to be honest I'm probably a lot taller, though skinnier, than the other students I know.

I'd say I'm a pretty colorful person too, metaphorically as well as literally. I like wearing bright clothing with a variety of colors, and it's pretty easy to get me to laugh or smile. People say my eyes look tired, but like, that's so not true. I don't know where they get that kind of impression from. What is true, though, is when they say I have all sorts of weird expressions on my face. I am a pretty expressive person, after all.

For all that I'm open, though, I wouldn't consider myself naive. Sure, the world's a complicated place, and nobody really understands it sometimes, but mostly you just gotta set clear expectations for others and for yourself. Naivety is about not knowing how to do that or what things to say are appropriate for saying. I guess people are generally good about doing fun things, but sometimes they don't because they want to be seen as no-nonsense, which is really a shame. I mean, if I get reaped I'd want to spend my possibly last days checking out new stuff and enjoying myself instead of bitter and depressed. No point in worrying about things you can't change.

Runs in the family, dad tells me. He says he was first drawn to my mom when she said about the same thing, at their last reaping. Course, dad wasn't like those super-intense Careers either, but that's why they fit each other perfectly. Had my sister, and a few years along, me.

My sister was never into training at all. We're close enough, and I talk about things to her a lot, but she just doesn't get some of the nuances. She kept out of the reapings, stayed low, and eventually decided to move all the way across the district, even if it meant we could stay in touch a lot less than I would have liked. 

I wouldn't say I'm "into" training the way the others use the term, though. There's a beauty to the weaponry, the sparring, the focus, even if I'm not obsessed with being in the Games like they are.

There's a couple kids every year who accuse me of running a "cheating ring". Maybe they're not incorrect, but the way I see it is, I'm just helping out a few of my buddies. If they want my answers and I know them, then why not? It's not like I wouldn't have helped them too just the same. The wrong thing to do would be refusing to help when they asked, just because of some arbitrary rules.
Sure, the teachers keep telling us not to collaborate on our assignments, but who's gonna enforce that? Nobody's gonna tell the teachers about it, even if they turned me down it's just a pointlessly dickish thing to do. I guess I came close to getting caught last time, but that teacher just raised her eyebrows at us and let it slide. She didn't have any proof anyways.

Life's never really neat little morals, after all. It's about complicated qualifying statements, and you can never really say if a choice was good or bad without the benefit of hindsight, so I just follow my instincts and don't worry too much about it. Abstract concepts like justice don't really matter to me, compared to thinking about people.

I mean, I get along with just about everyone, "good" or "bad", you don't have to be so sensitive or picky about who you hang out with. If you've got something to say, just say it. What's the big deal?