Shut up and let me go | Amerika

An umbrella.

Jack gets a really badass clay-more and they give me A FUCKING UMBRELLA.

At least it's nice-ish looking, a deep, ebony black outer layer with a smooth, silver handle reflects my expression, one of indignation. Whatever, really I'm already over it. I shouldn't have even walked out with the bitch-ass thing but I had to follow the girl, I had to follow them until I got lost like the sad little girl I am and then suddenly it's dark and the trees have swallowed me whole, and everything around me is dead yet alive all at once.

Whatever.

WHATEVER I'M OVER IT.

But I'm not- I can't be that proud little girl, I'm that lonely child who wraps her arms around her knees and throws her face into the scabbed nubs and wail as though I were already attending my own god damn funeral. I hear the groan of thunder, and the pregnant clouds look like they're ready to tear open any minute so I open the thing and throw it over my head like it's going to ruin my hair but instead of HELPING Me

FuCkInG LIGHTNING.

WHO DESIGNS THIS SHIT.

OH.

RIGHT.

Venus and Vespar.

"THANKS FOR NOTHING." I snarl to the heavens, throwing the metal aside, my eyes and ears pounding, reeling from the shock. It didn't hurt- not bad, and it was more startling than anything but who turns LIGHTNING on a LADY!?

I'm OVER IT. I'm SO over it and I don't even have the capability of crying anymore because I'm alone and no warm hands pet my cheeks, no warm fingertips braid the untamable curls. No one, even the warm memories of Jack come to mind to save me from myself this time and I can only sit here and wait for the morning.

I grab the umbrella again.

Might as well make it useful for something. With my spear in hand, I lean it behind me against the massive tree-trunk, and lean my worthless umbrella on its side, providing me with a makeshift shelter. Fine. This is it then, thank-you useless piece of SHIT.

I'm exhausted already.

Fuck it, if they want me they can come find me.


--Eckhart.