lost in skies of powdered { gold } // danny v. kite, day 7
Mar 26, 2016 14:47:31 GMT -5
Post by Stare on Mar 26, 2016 14:47:31 GMT -5
[googlefont="Quattrocento:400"]
The world appeared as if she were looking at it through a fragmented lens, images shifting in and out of focus and blurring into blackness at the edges of her vision. Her footsteps were frenzied, water splashing up her legs and soaking through her shorts as she struggled to find footing. Something was distinctly missing, and it took her a few minutes before she realized that it was Basil’s weight and his arm around her shoulders. It was strange, how a few days of companionship could make her feel so off balance now that he was gone. Her heart clenched at the thought, body reeling abruptly one way before she managed to steady herself.
They were away from the body of the brother. Of the Miristioma boy. Oh, how Eleven must hate them now. How Kirito must be cursing their names. She tried to focus on that feeling of bitter regret and anger and helplessness, tried to use it to propel herself forward, but it only dragged her through another few minutes. Finally she halted abruptly, dropping down and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes as images of blood and dead eyes flitted across her vision. “I need - to stop,” she gasped out, hating herself for her weakness, for the heavy fatigue that was quickly dragging her down. “Just for - a little - bit.”
She didn’t have time to hear Ezero’s response. Sleep came quickly, regardless of how unwelcome it was.
Her dreams were bizarre and twisted. She saw Eryn writing notes on the walls of her house back at home while Alex recited fairytales beside her. Danny had the feeling she needed to ask them something important, but when she went forward to speak Kite grabbed her arm. He told her only he could read the writing on the walls while Ezero nodded behind them. When Danny tried to ask how Kite could read anything, a pair of arms wrapped around her. The grip was so tight she thought for sure it was Death, but when she turned around she saw Basil’s familiar face. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, and from there her dream dropped into sweet darkness.
Hours later, she woke up abruptly and all at once, her eyes snapping open. Night had fallen and the rain had stopped. When she looked up she saw a sheet of stars winking back at her. Danny scowled, remembering the words of another District Three female. Just a projection. Realistic, though. She was sure if she looked hard enough she would be able to pick out the constellations her father had shown her, once upon a time.
Instead of searching for false patterns, her eyes shifted to where Ezero sat not too far away. Her eyebrows drew together, one hand reaching out to feel where she’d dropped her knives next to her. They glinted beneath the stars, bloodstained and deadly and ready for use. Knives were Ezero’s weapon of choice, too, and it was a knife that he driven into Iain’s throat to end his pain. The boy had been dying slowly, and Ezero had taken mercy on him when Danny had been too weak to do so. Her eyes flickered back to her ally, and she felt a defiant spike of frustrated despair.
Why hadn’t he granted her that same mercy?
She rummaged around in her bag until she found the rope. Even small movements were beginning to ache, but she ignored the pain and instead studied the bloodstains in the dim light. She didn’t need her locket to think of Aiden, wondering if he was watching her now. If he was even still alive to do so. This story, she was beginning to realize, had no possible happy ending. Even if there was a cure, even if she did win, there would always be ghosts haunting her. It took a payment of twenty three lives to save her own. Originally she’d planned to be a part of that debt, not the one who owed it.
“What am I doing here, Ez? I was never supposed to make it this far.” Her grip on the rope was so tight that it burned into her palm, but she didn’t dare let go or look away.
“I… Danny, if anyone can make it out of here, it’d be you.” He surprised her into glancing up at him, but only briefly. His words sent her head spinning and it was too much for her to hope that he was right. Too much for her to believe in the fairytale that Aiden had planted in her head.
Paper and glass. That was all wishful thinking really was.
“I was never supposed to make it out,” she insisted, as much to herself as to him. Surviving had never been a part of the plan. “What the hell do I have to live for?”
Alex. Aiden. Her parents. A cure, however horribly it might be won. Love. Catching fireflies. Picking black raspberries. A wedding in her backyard to a boy she had fallen head over heels for. Kids. A future. But that had all been taken away from her long before the Reaping. Who was she to ask for it now?
“I don’t… I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore. But you? You’re the kind of person who deserves to survive this.” Ezero and Kite. She was holding out for both of them - her book boy and the blind volunteer who’d stumbled into the girl’s bathroom while she was changing. Was it only a week ago that they had only been those things? The Arena had changed them - all of them - and she supposed there was no going back to everything they’d been before.
Ezero seemed to sense her thoughts. “I don’t know if I do anymore, if I ever did.” He always had, but when Danny looked up to tell him so he was glancing over his shoulder, away from her. “I’ve let down so many people.”
She swallowed hard, looked back down. Basil’s grin as they spraypainted the training center walls flashed through her mind. “We both have.” If she won, if Ezero and Kite died, then all the people she had ever cared about in the Arena would become a part of the sacrifice. That thought killed her more than her wounds or bruises or bloody noses. “I never - I wasn't ever supposed to have a future. When I volunteered, it was for a faster death. Not some cheap shot at life. It's not... how could it ever be worth it?”
It couldn’t. The silence of that truth hung between them for a long time.
“That’s something one of us is going to have to find out the hard way.” Danny bit her lip and selfishly hoped that one was Ezero as his face tilted back, toward the sky, and seemed to search for something there. She wondered if his father had ever shown him constellations. “One of the remaining eight.”
Her heart lurched, and she felt treacherous tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. She’d already given the Games her tears once, though. She wouldn’t do it again. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go - ” She came so close to saying home. But she’d given up home when she volunteered. Wanting it was a privilege she didn’t have anymore. “I just want to go.”
When he turned to look at her she thought fleetingly that he had finally caught on and was preparing to kill her. But then he stretched his hand out toward her. “Me too.”
He was all she had left.
She shifted toward him and grasped his hand in her own. “I’ll stick with you until the end, okay? Whatever end it may be.”
“Okay.” He squeezed her hand. “You know I’ll be here with you too, ‘til the end.”
She took a deep breath, looked away.
It would all be over soon, one way or another.
“Okay.”
The next day, she woke up and found herself alone in a giant cage.
It was for the best. She kept telling herself that, an endless mantra of new lies that made the old ones seem all the more bitter. Her book boy was better off without her, anyway, so why should she care if she had to face the end by herself?
She cared because they had promised. She cared because he was her book boy, and she’d failed at protecting every other person in this damn Arena. She didn’t want to fail at protecting him.
But she already had, hadn’t she? She had failed when Delta caught fire and there was nothing any of them could do to save her.
And now she would face the end of this story alone, with only her lies lingering over her shoulder as a twisted reminder of everything she had already faced and the sacrifices that had been made to buy her these extra hours. For some reason she thought fleetingly of the mute girl she’d saved. Had she been worth the sacrifice? Had it even been a sacrifice at all, or an act of cowardice on her part. She wanted to ask Ezero all these things, to pour her emotions into him as she had the night before, but Ezero was gone. She had never in her life felt more alone.
But maybe the worst part was, she wasn’t alone. She had Aiden hanging from her throat and Basil in the paint still staining her hands and Eryn in a little ink stain on her finger and Delta lingering in the ashes in her hair and the ghost of Ezero’s palm against her own.
And she was so, so tired of making sacrifices.
And then, as she moved forward, she saw a familiar figure before her. Heart heart leaped into her throat, then sank and clenched painfully in her chest. Kite. And all she could think was not him, anyone but him, because he was Kite and he’d already refused to kill her once. He was too nice, too kind, and a part of her was scared that he would deny her death for a second time.
He didn’t understand. He was the only person she trusted with killing her.
So she did the only thing she could think to do. Tears pricking at the backs of her eyes, she silently lit her knives on fire. As she approached him, she didn’t call out his name. Didn’t say a word. She tried to make her footsteps sound heavier, tried to mimic Ezero, then one of the puppets, then just any tribute that wasn’t herself. She kept her distance from him so that he couldn’t reach out and feel the truth as he had once before.
Then she lunged forward and struck him, hoping desperately that not knowing who she was, he would spin around and strike back.
Hoping deeply, recklessly, that he would kill her.
lost in skies of powdered gold
caught in clouds of silver ropes
showered by the empty hopes
as i tumble down, falling fast to the ground
caught in clouds of silver ropes
showered by the empty hopes
as i tumble down, falling fast to the ground
The world appeared as if she were looking at it through a fragmented lens, images shifting in and out of focus and blurring into blackness at the edges of her vision. Her footsteps were frenzied, water splashing up her legs and soaking through her shorts as she struggled to find footing. Something was distinctly missing, and it took her a few minutes before she realized that it was Basil’s weight and his arm around her shoulders. It was strange, how a few days of companionship could make her feel so off balance now that he was gone. Her heart clenched at the thought, body reeling abruptly one way before she managed to steady herself.
They were away from the body of the brother. Of the Miristioma boy. Oh, how Eleven must hate them now. How Kirito must be cursing their names. She tried to focus on that feeling of bitter regret and anger and helplessness, tried to use it to propel herself forward, but it only dragged her through another few minutes. Finally she halted abruptly, dropping down and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes as images of blood and dead eyes flitted across her vision. “I need - to stop,” she gasped out, hating herself for her weakness, for the heavy fatigue that was quickly dragging her down. “Just for - a little - bit.”
She didn’t have time to hear Ezero’s response. Sleep came quickly, regardless of how unwelcome it was.
Her dreams were bizarre and twisted. She saw Eryn writing notes on the walls of her house back at home while Alex recited fairytales beside her. Danny had the feeling she needed to ask them something important, but when she went forward to speak Kite grabbed her arm. He told her only he could read the writing on the walls while Ezero nodded behind them. When Danny tried to ask how Kite could read anything, a pair of arms wrapped around her. The grip was so tight she thought for sure it was Death, but when she turned around she saw Basil’s familiar face. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, and from there her dream dropped into sweet darkness.
Hours later, she woke up abruptly and all at once, her eyes snapping open. Night had fallen and the rain had stopped. When she looked up she saw a sheet of stars winking back at her. Danny scowled, remembering the words of another District Three female. Just a projection. Realistic, though. She was sure if she looked hard enough she would be able to pick out the constellations her father had shown her, once upon a time.
Instead of searching for false patterns, her eyes shifted to where Ezero sat not too far away. Her eyebrows drew together, one hand reaching out to feel where she’d dropped her knives next to her. They glinted beneath the stars, bloodstained and deadly and ready for use. Knives were Ezero’s weapon of choice, too, and it was a knife that he driven into Iain’s throat to end his pain. The boy had been dying slowly, and Ezero had taken mercy on him when Danny had been too weak to do so. Her eyes flickered back to her ally, and she felt a defiant spike of frustrated despair.
Why hadn’t he granted her that same mercy?
She rummaged around in her bag until she found the rope. Even small movements were beginning to ache, but she ignored the pain and instead studied the bloodstains in the dim light. She didn’t need her locket to think of Aiden, wondering if he was watching her now. If he was even still alive to do so. This story, she was beginning to realize, had no possible happy ending. Even if there was a cure, even if she did win, there would always be ghosts haunting her. It took a payment of twenty three lives to save her own. Originally she’d planned to be a part of that debt, not the one who owed it.
“What am I doing here, Ez? I was never supposed to make it this far.” Her grip on the rope was so tight that it burned into her palm, but she didn’t dare let go or look away.
“I… Danny, if anyone can make it out of here, it’d be you.” He surprised her into glancing up at him, but only briefly. His words sent her head spinning and it was too much for her to hope that he was right. Too much for her to believe in the fairytale that Aiden had planted in her head.
Paper and glass. That was all wishful thinking really was.
“I was never supposed to make it out,” she insisted, as much to herself as to him. Surviving had never been a part of the plan. “What the hell do I have to live for?”
Alex. Aiden. Her parents. A cure, however horribly it might be won. Love. Catching fireflies. Picking black raspberries. A wedding in her backyard to a boy she had fallen head over heels for. Kids. A future. But that had all been taken away from her long before the Reaping. Who was she to ask for it now?
“I don’t… I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore. But you? You’re the kind of person who deserves to survive this.” Ezero and Kite. She was holding out for both of them - her book boy and the blind volunteer who’d stumbled into the girl’s bathroom while she was changing. Was it only a week ago that they had only been those things? The Arena had changed them - all of them - and she supposed there was no going back to everything they’d been before.
Ezero seemed to sense her thoughts. “I don’t know if I do anymore, if I ever did.” He always had, but when Danny looked up to tell him so he was glancing over his shoulder, away from her. “I’ve let down so many people.”
She swallowed hard, looked back down. Basil’s grin as they spraypainted the training center walls flashed through her mind. “We both have.” If she won, if Ezero and Kite died, then all the people she had ever cared about in the Arena would become a part of the sacrifice. That thought killed her more than her wounds or bruises or bloody noses. “I never - I wasn't ever supposed to have a future. When I volunteered, it was for a faster death. Not some cheap shot at life. It's not... how could it ever be worth it?”
It couldn’t. The silence of that truth hung between them for a long time.
“That’s something one of us is going to have to find out the hard way.” Danny bit her lip and selfishly hoped that one was Ezero as his face tilted back, toward the sky, and seemed to search for something there. She wondered if his father had ever shown him constellations. “One of the remaining eight.”
Her heart lurched, and she felt treacherous tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. She’d already given the Games her tears once, though. She wouldn’t do it again. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go - ” She came so close to saying home. But she’d given up home when she volunteered. Wanting it was a privilege she didn’t have anymore. “I just want to go.”
When he turned to look at her she thought fleetingly that he had finally caught on and was preparing to kill her. But then he stretched his hand out toward her. “Me too.”
He was all she had left.
She shifted toward him and grasped his hand in her own. “I’ll stick with you until the end, okay? Whatever end it may be.”
“Okay.” He squeezed her hand. “You know I’ll be here with you too, ‘til the end.”
She took a deep breath, looked away.
It would all be over soon, one way or another.
“Okay.”
The next day, she woke up and found herself alone in a giant cage.
It was for the best. She kept telling herself that, an endless mantra of new lies that made the old ones seem all the more bitter. Her book boy was better off without her, anyway, so why should she care if she had to face the end by herself?
She cared because they had promised. She cared because he was her book boy, and she’d failed at protecting every other person in this damn Arena. She didn’t want to fail at protecting him.
But she already had, hadn’t she? She had failed when Delta caught fire and there was nothing any of them could do to save her.
And now she would face the end of this story alone, with only her lies lingering over her shoulder as a twisted reminder of everything she had already faced and the sacrifices that had been made to buy her these extra hours. For some reason she thought fleetingly of the mute girl she’d saved. Had she been worth the sacrifice? Had it even been a sacrifice at all, or an act of cowardice on her part. She wanted to ask Ezero all these things, to pour her emotions into him as she had the night before, but Ezero was gone. She had never in her life felt more alone.
But maybe the worst part was, she wasn’t alone. She had Aiden hanging from her throat and Basil in the paint still staining her hands and Eryn in a little ink stain on her finger and Delta lingering in the ashes in her hair and the ghost of Ezero’s palm against her own.
And she was so, so tired of making sacrifices.
And then, as she moved forward, she saw a familiar figure before her. Heart heart leaped into her throat, then sank and clenched painfully in her chest. Kite. And all she could think was not him, anyone but him, because he was Kite and he’d already refused to kill her once. He was too nice, too kind, and a part of her was scared that he would deny her death for a second time.
He didn’t understand. He was the only person she trusted with killing her.
So she did the only thing she could think to do. Tears pricking at the backs of her eyes, she silently lit her knives on fire. As she approached him, she didn’t call out his name. Didn’t say a word. She tried to make her footsteps sound heavier, tried to mimic Ezero, then one of the puppets, then just any tribute that wasn’t herself. She kept her distance from him so that he couldn’t reach out and feel the truth as he had once before.
Then she lunged forward and struck him, hoping desperately that not knowing who she was, he would spin around and strike back.
Hoping deeply, recklessly, that he would kill her.
making waves in pitch black sand
feel the salt dance on my hands
raw and charcoal coloured thighs feel so cold
and my skin feels so paper-thin
feel the salt dance on my hands
raw and charcoal coloured thighs feel so cold
and my skin feels so paper-thin
Xk7kYNhOthrowing knife
1-50
lights knives on fire
attacks kite with throwing knife (1)
result: deep gash on thigh, 8.0
fire: +2
attacks kite with throwing knife (1)
result: deep gash on thigh, 8.0
fire: +2
[/presto]
