spire in the sky { percy&helios blitz

I don't let my legs tremble when Helios enters the Justice Building with his eyes, bright with worry. They are always so full of light and hope and kindness- even now, it fills me with cold envy that he never seems to see the shadows cast by the sun.

Does he see them now?

Perhaps, by the way he clutches a rosary so furiously in his hand.

"Percy," he says. "I tried to save you."

(You can't save me. I'm the savior.)

But he didn't let me down. I already knew that the false god he refused to leave in the dust had his hands tied behind his back.

"I've been damned since I was born, remember?" I almost growl, but the resentment is not directed towards Helios. The words leave a black, bitter aftertaste on my tongue. My tone, sharp, steel, does not match my insides, does not match my eyes. Moisture swells in them, blurring the corners of my vision. It burns with the rest of me. The tears threaten to brim over but I can't let them, I can't.

I want to sound brave when I say those words, the way Calypso does when she's staring down the barrel of a gun aimed at her head.

But then my lip begins to tremble.

Sobs close around my throat
and when I try to say more, only a shattered cry comes out.

Everything breaks.

"You can't just pray away your fears, Helios," I say, and a droplet from the corner of my eye unravels down my cheek. It is the spark to a wildfire- I lose count of how many follow.

"And you sure as hell can't save me."

❧

come on skinny love just last the year
pour a little salt we were never here
staring at the sink of blood
and crushed veneer