Vino Rasoio [D8] ~FIN~

I like silence.

Even when compared with razors, knives and guns, silence is the strongest weapon. Silence is nothing but nothing can be absolutely anything. When something is silent, you don't know it's there. When something is silent, you don't know what it's capable of because it doesn't boast about its abilities and it doesn't ruin its image with a pathetic voice. In my forever open, black eyes, silence is golden and sturdy as a tree. One cannot predict the silence, one cannot judge the silence and one cannot know what the silence is thinking because it's just there.

Silence is useful in my job. Silence is the best form of intimidation, even if the person you're intimidating doesn't know it yet. When someone see's me, they know not to fuck up but if they were to hear me then the effect is weakened. Standing at an impressive, 6'3 all I have to do is stand there and tower over a lesser man or woman for them to feel afraid. I'm well-fed, we all are and that's paid off with my stature. I'm more filled out than the average man in this district, more muscular than the average man in this district and definitely much, much stronger than the average man in this district. I don't have to speak and boast about what I'll do to someone if they dare fuck up. I just have to stand there and glare at them, they get the message before too long.

I suppose in that sense, I've differentiated myself from most of the Rasoio family out there. While there are a lot of similarities, dark skin and dark hair, I'm one of the oldest and one of the better developed. I've cut my hair short, leaving so it's just about visible on the top of my head, and let my facial hair grow out to a stubble. I prefer it like that, it adds to the intimidating appearance. I don't have a pretty face at all, crooked teeth and a cooked nose aren't all that appealing, but that's not the point. I don't need to attract women and I don't need to socialise, I just have to do my job and get money. That's the cycle.

Still, despite having to intimidate family insist I still dress the part and look presentable and the mandatory hat that comes with the razors sewn in them for just in case. Personally, I would rather not have it, I don't need weapons when the gloves come off but they insist. (You're not invincible.) They tell me but I beg to differ. I've never lost a fight for the whole time I've been part of this. Says a lot doesn't it? They say arrogance isn't good but I would like to think that I've earned the right. I'll stop being arrogant when someone finally has the balls to take a swing at me and knock me out. Until then, everyone can just keep silent. Just the way I like it.

And it's not like I've exactly failed at my job. When someone can't pay for the clothes we so generously allow them to have I generally go over and have to sort them out, me and team of people. I prefer not to use the razors sewn in the caps, fists have generally been more to my liking. When we catch them I generally like to start. I'm not always hostile, I generally like to offer them a cigarette (even though I don't smoke) or a drink to lull them into a false sense of security before throwing the first hit.

After all is done and dusted we leave without a word, simple silence that's occasionally broken with groans of pain. After that the people who clean up generally tend to the mess, I've never really liked cleaning up after myself.

Honestly, the gang life is not all I do. Although, I never was good in school because I was too damn stupid. I mean when am I ever going to need mathematics in my life? Who in the district actually uses that stuff when it comes to their work; I can't think of any. Anyway, I was never good in school and always got terrible grades and I never really had any friends since I don't generally like talking. I've always preferred the silence, not only because it's a good weapon but because it's just much more peaceful. I hate noise. School was generally a shit hole for me. Although, I did enjoy taking foolish kid's money by beating them at card games. I love playing cards, sometimes I play it with associates or my brothers. If I lived by myself I probably would've gambled away everything I own, honest.

Apparently, that's the problem with me, I've got no self-restraint. Take for example when I fight someone, I keep punching and punching until someone has to pull me off them. I never know when enough is enough. Or when I gamble something and lose, that's generally a sign that you should stop but I keep trying to win it back and keep trying to win it back. Until I end up with basically nothing. I just can't leave well enough alone, I don't know when to quit. I ain't no quitter.

Although, I tend not to involve myself in drinking, smoking and drug taking. That stuff can really mess you up. Especially when it comes to drugs, I've seen too many people overdose or just die because the dealer put something weird in their pill. I've learned that you can't trust them people. I've seen the kind of things they put in that shit. Nasty. I'm paranoid, don't like to trust anyone or anything, don't like to open myself up. That's another reason why I took to the silence; if you're silent you can't say anything stupid or give anything away.

I learned a long time ago that a lot about this job is to do with appearances.

I've always been paranoid, ever since I was younger I was always paranoid; losing your mother at a young age just makes that worse I suppose. Growing up, I always watched what people were capable of, I suppose I was exposed to it. That just tends to happen when you have parents who run a gang like this. It's not like they tried to do much a job to cover it up so I watched. Made me paranoid, can't trust people because you never know when they're gonna turn around and stab you when your back is turned. Being the oldest, I suppose I just adapted to it better than all my other siblings. Besides, it was getting us plenty of food so I could grow; no need to complain.

Worst thing I probably saw was when I was a kid, about eight years old when a dealer couldn't pay back their debt to us. Of course, my father wouldn't have that and had his tongue ripped out and sent to his people. The rest of his body was cleaned up. Now what my family didn't anticipate was that the people they were screwing over wouldn't just roll over and take that. They burned our house down, root and stem. Possessions, dignity, pride and all. I still have nightmares of that day: the flames, the smoke, the screaming. We didn't all make it out, my mother wasn't quite so lucky. I cried but my father wouldn't have it. "Crying won't bring her back, stop it." He was definitely right.

Always being the biggest kid in class, when I went into my teens my dad started drafting me into the family business. He always encouraged fighting and sneered at weakness. When I turned sixteen he started taking me to meetings, showing me the ins and outs of the 'business.' He said he needed people like me and I believed him. People to intimidate, people who weren't scared to do the dirt work and get their feet muddy. People like me.

Don't get me wrong, violence isn't exactly super fun. When I go for a good 3 weeks without having to beat someone up I find myself enjoying the peace and quiet. I just like the silence, I would rather it not be constantly broken by bones cracking and groans breaking the stillness. I like to relax, I like sitting at home or sitting alone. It's simpler that way. Of course, when duty calls I have to obey because that's all I'm good for and that's what I'm best at.

Still, despite it all, I hate breaking the silence.