Just Close Your Eyes {Oneshot} {Trigger Warning}

I was told that after a while, I would just be numb to the pain. For the longest time, I believed what they said. I thought that if I just let it happen, that it would eventually go away, or that I wouldn't feel the pain anymore. The verbal and physical abuse never ended, and it continues to hurt. I would never know what I did wrong to cause the pain to be inflicted on me again, but I thought I had to have done something. Almost all of my life, I didn't believe that people would punish you or harm you when you hadn't done a thing wrong. I soon realized that I was wrong. Some people were just cruel for no reason.

When I would wake up in the morning, I'd get yelled at for being up too early or too late. I'd get dressed into clothes that I thought looked nice, only to be told that I needed to try harder. After preparing breakfast for myself, I was told that I should have thought of the rest of the family and made it for them, too. I'd head out the door in the morning, only to be told that I was going to be late because I was pathetically slow. I'd return home, and be scolded because I was thirty seconds after curfew. Maybe once in a while I did do something wrong, but it felt like I always did, even when I knew I hadn't.

It wasn't very common for me to feel loved or cared for in my life. I had very few friends, and the one person I felt comforted by was Marina, my closest friend. She was a few years older than me, and was one of the nicest people I had ever been lucky enough to meet. She didn't experience the same home life as I did, but she was always there for me. She knew it was hard for me, and that I didn't feel cared for by anyone aside from her.

Despite the difficulties I face, I'm always kind to others. I wouldn't be able to bare being the way my family is to me. If I acted that cruel, I wouldn't be able to deal with myself on a day to day basis. I may be frail and weak, but I still try to stand up for others if they're in a bad situation. I'm often bullied, and am not very good at standing up for myself, which makes me even more grateful when Marina is there for me.

For a while, I thought that the bullying outside of my home would be something I'd grow numb too, also. Maybe if I just closed my eyes, it'd vanish. Perhaps I wouldn't feel the pain if I didn't think about it any more. No, those thoughts were wrong. It would never go away. It still hasn't gone away to this very day.

Smack!

The abuse wasn't just verbal.

Smack!

I didn't grow numb to it. I grew more sensitive.

Smack!

The pain got worse every time.

Smack!

I'd go to school covered in bruises.

Smack!

Marina was the only one concerned. She'd be the only one to ask why.

Smack!

I'd go home and it'd continue.

Smack!

There wasn't a day without it.

Smack!

I've learned to just let it happen.

Smack!

I've learned to just close my eyes.

Oneshot

Words: 547

Just Close Your Eyes