Wishing you were somehow here again (Cordelia oneshot)
Nov 9, 2016 0:47:58 GMT -5
Post by Sleepy Fluttershy on Nov 9, 2016 0:47:58 GMT -5
Days and nights of exhaustion and desperation pass in silence. When the first games day is over, I feel a pang in the heart as if something terrible is about to happen. But nothing happens. Bolts is still alive, and so are almost all the other tributes. As I watch their faces on the screen, I realize that I don't wish death for any of them, they are all people like anyone else and seeing them destroy each other and reject the remains of human nature that still live in them strikes me as something horrible, it just isn't possible for people to become that cruel. On the very first day of the Games I see a girl being murdered by another tribute while she's standing over a body of her dead friend and it shocks me. That monstrous arena is the worst place imaginable. It makes people do what they would never even think about when they were at home. I am afraid that Bolts will change, too, that I won't recognize him when he comes back and I'll never ever get to see my brother again. But I don't care much about what he will be like if he returns right now. I only want him to come back and I have never wanted anything so badly in my whole life. So the only fact that indeed scares me at the moment is that he has to be out there with those people who have nothing left but an unimaginable desire to live. I really don't want anyone to die, but every time I see another tribute dying, I count how many of them are left and frown. We can't lose him. We can't. I don't sleep, don't draw, don't think. I just stare at the screen all the time.
He has come out of the Bloodbath alive, he is still alive. Every moment of his life there gives me hope, but the more hope I have, the more painful it is to understand that all that might be ruined in a matter of hours, minutes, seconds. I don't know what will happen next. And I can't stand it. It is a horrific torture.
"Please, stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive. Alive. Live. Come back. Stay alive," - I whisper, as if he could hear me, as if it could change something. I am almost sure he can hear me though, he must feel that we are waiting for him and I must not be the only one who talks to him in that way from this side of the screen. He must return.
I want to know for sure he will. Until that happens, I am not going anywhere. I will stay here and watch the Games. Hold on, Bolts. We all love you. I love you.
