through tired, desperate eyes [gaby]

see the
stone cold face

I told myself I would never admit it, but as I walk through the streets with brass knuckles rubbing my skin raw and a throbbing migraine from a lack of sleep, I can feel the thought inkling into the corners of my mind. I could blame my weakness on sleep deprivation, but I'm not one to lie. I told myself I'd never admit to defeat or to needing anyone to do anything for me. But as the sun peeks over the horizon and my eyes nearly fall shut as I wait at the rendezvous point, I don't have the strength to protest against my own thoughts and feelings.

I miss my sister. I miss Hyacinth.

Of course, I realized this at around 3AM when I was stringing up another body by the toes and watching the blood drain from his carotid. I owe too much. The Peacekeepers who used to stay silent can't seem to manage it now that Hyacinth's tongue isn't down their throats. So they come knocking at unbelievable hours with even more unbelievable demands. ("Time's up. Where's my cash?") Eirlys and I don't dare tell them we don't have it.

I made it overnight. This night. Three bodies carved out and hollowed, blood, plasma, marrow—I've taken every last bit I can and I will turn a profit. And if it's not enough...

I stretch my fingers, squeeze them back into a fist. The brass knuckles shimmer at me—a smile—thirsty for flesh and blood and bone. If the coolers full of precious merchandise aren't enough... well, then I'll just make them be enough.

He appears from around the corner without much warning and my eyes shoot open, my back straightens. He stands at a distance, expecting me to throw him the cooler. Fucking numbnuts. It's full of delicate organs why the hell would I risk having them be bruised, broken, and useless?

"Cash first," I say, staring him down.

But he looks worried. His face grows pale and he glances over the top of my head before looking back to me and turning away and making it into a full sprint before I can even put down the cooler to chase him down. I don't dare call after him. The district is waking; too many eyes and ears watching now.

"Fuck," I mutter, the migraine spiking my discomfort.

I turn on my heels with a growl. Not of anger or frustration, but of something closer to absolute defeat. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?

It's when I've picked up my cooler again that I notice the figure sitting on the roof overhead. The defeat is replaced with spitting rage.

"What the fuck? You ruined my deal!" I hiss, trying hard to keep my voice down. I'm pretty certain I fail. I've never been one for discretion or safety. I never needed to have it. Hyacinth always managed to find a way to pay what was owed.

But now she's gone. And I still haven't learned. And I can already hear the Peacekeepers sneering and whispering in my ears: 'Better learn quick.'

"You hear me? Get down hear, you owe me money!" I yell, setting down the cooler again and picking up a rock.

"I swear to Ripred I'll climb up there and beat it out of you."

Who knows? Maybe my luck has turned and I'll get a fresh body out of this.

try to
knock it