hana solomon { two { cb { fin

"Look, fellas, we can work this out-"

"Where's our money, Solomon?"

"Okay okay okay, fuck-ing-hell, you can have your money! Here! I've got a whole backpack stuffed with cash, just..."

"Solomon I will shoot you dead-"

"Okay fuck, just give me my dog back!"

"This fucking mutt?!"

"Yes! Don't hold her like that! Just give me the fucking dog!"

"Jesus, fuark, this dog STINKS!"

"JUSTGIVEMETHEFUCKINGDOG-"

BANG!


Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

Good ol' Hana tailgating the wrong people, getting caught and bartering for my dog. Poor Chewey, she really does hate being held like that. Jokes on that guy though, because he's about to get bitten by her in three, two, one-


"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THAT LITTLE BITCH SHOT ME-"

"YEAH HER FUCKING MUTT BIT MY FINGER OFF JACKSON-"

"FUCK YOU FRANK, I'VE GOT A FUCKING BULLET IN ME!"

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING GIRL?"

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY?!"

Ha, dumbasses. I mean, her name's Chewey. How do they think she got that name? My little girl will chew anything, especially gang members pointing a gun at me. Jokes on them, my bullet kissed their skin before I had time to wave them goodbye. 

Oh, and how I ended up in that situation? Well, that's a story for another time. Right now me and my girl have some fine dining to attend to courtesy of dumbass gang grunts who can't point a gun straight to save themselves. I'm thinking gourmet for Chewey, and for me? A bottle of scotch.

Care to join?