Shirley Knot Hope-Ful D8 (FIN)
Jan 16, 2017 15:24:19 GMT -5
Post by uwu on Jan 16, 2017 15:24:19 GMT -5
Actions
Thoughts
"Personal Speech"
"Not my speech"
OOC
Thoughts
"Personal Speech"
"Not my speech"
OOC
"Everyone dies at one point, so why try to save them?"
S is for silence, when I do not speak up. I don't speak for I do not care. If some one is getting beaten up, who cares? They should have defended themselves. If someone is getting arrested, who cares? They deserve that. If someone dies, who cares? Death is a natural part of life. Who am I to speak out against anything?
H is for hell, which is a synonym for living. Everything in life tries to harm everything else. No one is here to help. Everyone is out to watch out for themselves. They're too busy to not be hurt themselves. Why should they bother with a homeless family like us, anyways? I don't care. We all struggle with our own personal demons. Why should they add an external burden onto themselves?
I is for internally dead, because I cannot feel anything anymore. I can't feel emotion, or pain. I have long since known what it's like to feel either. I sure don't care. I don't feel anything. I don't see a problem with not feeling anything. It's life. Life goes on, not caring whether or not you do. So why should I care?
R is for raised poor, for no one has any jobs. My parents both lost their jobs, and we live in the streets ever since I was 6. I can't believe it's been 12 years. Oh wait, yet I can. It's easy to. How? You fucking believe. Sadly, believing life will get better is another thing. It doesn't feel like it is. Luckily I've already accepted shittyness as a lifestyle. I won't be able to get out of it, anyways.
E is for empty, due to lack of food and lack of emotion. I have barely any food to survive, and I am a void of everything else. Who needs them anyways? Pain is just a distraction, along with emotion. TO be fair, emotion leads to pain, so essentially emotions are pain. They are unnecessary. Dependency on food is overrated as well. I don't understand how people think it's necessary? It's not.
L is for lovelorn, a possible reason for why I'm the way I am. My parents probably love me, but it doesn't feel that way. What I can tell from them is that they hate me. Everyone hates me. It doesn't matter because I don't feel anything towards anyone. It could be the reason why i can't, which, now thinking about it, strengthens my apathetic hatred towards everything. Maybe if I had felt more loved as a child, i could have cared. But I guess not. Life sucks, but oh well.
Y is for youth, something that I never truly had. How can I have something that my parents could never give me? Well, they tried at least. That's what matters. Supposedly. It's kinda hard to have a childhood when you don't even have anything to make it happen. We're lucky if we're able to get any food.
"Something bad always seems to happen, so why try to do any good?"
K is for kaput, a term used typically for machinery but can apply to me perfectly. I may be able to function, but I am broken and useless. Just because I am unique doesn't mean I'm useful in society. Who wants someone who doesn't give a care about anything ever? Who wants someone who's completely unmotivated to do anything? Who wants someone who has absolutely no initiative? That's right. No one. Who would want someone like me?
N is for no body, who I am. No one knows who my lanky ass is. I am another homeless person in the streets of District 8. I don't even know if my extended family knows who I am. I don't know them. At least not personally. I've never tried to get to know them. I don't care.
O is for oily, like a machine. My black hair is full of oil and shines in the sunlight because we do not have the luxury of being able to shower daily. We don't even have the luxury to eat daily. I doubt we'll be able to have either of those. The only "luxury" we have is the luxury to sleep, even if it's in the snow on the ground. Sleep is sleep, no matter what it is.
T is for tedious, the perfect word often used. Life is tedious, which is the price to pay for living. I never got asked to be born. I didn't ask to be thrown into this world. Deep down, I know if it weren't for me, my family wouldn't be homeless. They'd be able to have a house, some food, and possibly fresh clothes. No, it wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one who decided to be born. It was a burden they decided to take.
"Nothing ever goes right, so why try to achieve your goals?"
H is for help, a gesture no one offers. Everyone is too busy to look in our direction, let alone do anything to make an effort. Everyone's too busy running around to care about a homeless family on the side of the street. Just because we get lucky and people offer use to sleep in houses from time to time doesn't make use any less homeless.
O is for obliging, something that my parents are and something I'll never be. I cannot do anything for the sake of being kind, yet my parents do. I don't know why I do anything. Maybe because I'm told to? Or maybe it's because it's mindless? Whatever it is, I know that I am not mentally choosing to do any of the work I do because I'm "kind." I couldn't give a rats ass what gets done and what doesn't.
P is of poison, something that summarizes society. It infects people with a false hope that blinds everyone. Everyone thinks that their child's going to come home alive from the games. Ha! That's funny. It's unlikely that any of them come home. People need to lower standards. Fear is also another poison that runs through our society. Fear that the Capitol will harm them somehow. Again, lower standards will help. Also, not caring is a major help.
E is for energized, something that I have never been. No energy to do anything has been plaguing my life for a while. Hence a major factor to why I don't care about anything. It
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F is for failure, the perfect word to some up m life. I am a failure of an 18-year-old girl. My parents won't say it directly to me, but their eyes speak for them. I haven't done anything successful with my life. I haven't even tried to do anything with my life, except of make it worse. I'm surprised that they continue to deal with me.
U is for ugly, the best way I can describe myself. My hair is the stupidest color of brown. I have to hide my face for I am ashamed of it. My eyes, I don't even know what's wrong with them. They were born two different colors. Out of everything, one just had to be hazel and the other blue.
L is for lonely, something I should have figured I would be. Making no friends would lead down a slow and winding road of darkness without any lamps to help guid me. My life has been me constantly removing myself from everyone, but who am I should judge? No one tried to talk to me. It's a two-way street.
"I am a realist, not a dreamer. My family may be hopeful, but I am far from it."
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