do you believe in hope and faith {azaleah}

Dodgy deals are not the only things that go on behind closed doors in this family; whispers of the damned are exchanged far more easily. A day has not gone by where Ansgar's name has crossed my mind. He is the killer who built a cathedral from his faith in order to have the means to survive; he took religion from all inches of this world, my family included. Ansgar Todd has left us in a state of turmoil.

Ansgar Todd killed my brother. But if I took his eye to avenge Jenoah, then I would join Mr. Todd as a savage.

It's regressive. I'd go from a believer to a sinner to a savage, not that it matters, there is nowhere to go after death. I look deep into the poster of Ansgar. Seeing his face flaunted as if he deserves praise for living makes my heart swell with attitude.

"Is he truly a monster," a bird sings, "is anyone?" He faces me with a tough question. It cannot be denied that Ansgar killed to ensure his survival, but he manipulated Ripred and built a wall between the believers and the realists.

"He just did what was needed to keep himself alive. If that's what makes someone a monster, we all are." If that is what makes someone a monster, then nobody is human. "I can't help but hurt when I see his face." My fist clenches but I can't do anything in the midst of spring's fight against winter. "He's not a monster, but I can't help but want him dead."

Retribution from my hands, I'd give Ansgar Todd a bullet for his troubles.

"Even if he died," the boys says, eyes glancing between my own and the poster which bathes Ansgar Todd in glory. "It wouldn't save us."

And y'know what? Maybe he's right. Some of us here in Eight are beyond saving. No matter how hard we try to resurrect status or hope or happiness—it's an impossible task. When you're a possible girl, a possible boy who knows that death could be just around any corner, you realise it's something you can never achieve.

Because I've learnt to take my own advice; I've learnt not to mess with the shadows and skeletons. I've learnt that heaven and hell add insult to injury.

"I guess you're right. But he doesn't deserve all... this." I shake my head at the banners. "He's a killer. He made Ripred crumble, not that I'm complaining. Just... why do people give him so much praise?"