Cursed Heart and Broken Dreams [Jinx Family JB]
Feb 1, 2017 22:49:30 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2017 22:49:30 GMT -5
Curse Jinx
[newclass=.jorggradient1]text-align:justify; background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, #030102, #474946, #8C8D85, #C88C4E, #50050A);linear-gradient(top, #030102, #474946, #8C8D85, #C88C4E, #50050A); -webkit-background-clip:text; color:transparent;[/newclass] [attr="class","jorggradient1"]What have I done?
I pace around in the Justice Building room, usually only meant to hold one tribute, there’s now a small handful of us in the room. What little time we have with the loved ones who choose to come and visit us is now shared with the 5 or 6 other volunteers. You get no privacy, no time for yourself, closure. Yet I am sort of glad that I am not going through with this alone, or with only one other person. Granted two of our District’s volunteers are siblings, at least we have a chance to bond together before we head into our final days, knowing that we may not die alone. I couldn’t imagine what Scout and Mordecai were feeling, sitting in this room, alone. For the past couples of days I have started to form a cough, which starts to act up as I sit here. Granted both of them were Reaped, chosen against their will. I called out for this. I reached out for the struggle and the pain of knowing literally nothing. I rack my brain trying to think of anything to connect me to them, something to give me even a little bit of hope. Yet I have nothing. These people that I went to class with and talked with and I have nothing beyond that. I wanted this, who only knows why I wanted this but I did. And I sit here waiting. Wait am i waiting for though? Am I waiting for my parents to come congratulate me? Am I waiting for my siblings to come berate me? Or am I waiting for neither, as I sit here with a few other tributes.
What have I done?
I sit here with throat starting to scratch, my chest starting to congest, and my mind starting to panic. Why did I sign up for this, what will happen when I find myself on the ground of some harsh environment, bleeding out with my last breathes? Will Phoenix see me with contempt? Will Spell and Charm sit there with disdain in their heart? How will they see me now, leaving again after I just came back? With regret forming deep inside of me I sit here waiting for the unknown, I am scared. Scared of what will happen, scared of everything that the Capitol will throw at the scores of us, but mostly scared of myself. Scared about the fact that I would willingly throw myself into this situation, where nothing is clear. Hell I don’t even know how many tributes would be in the Arena, there’s already what 6, 7 of us just from District 4 alone! There could be just as many from every other District, or it could be just us. Just District 4, fighting each other for what exactly? Why are all of these other people even here, Why am I even here?
What have I done?
I still remember the Escort and his sickening grin when he saw us all volunteer. He looked at us like we were his prized sheep that he is sending for the district fair. Yet we are all sheep for slaughter. We walked up and willingly put our lives up for the amusement of the capitol and the detriment of of our families. We willingly followed the Capitol’s call and beckoning, reaching out for the chance at the unknown glory. Yet that is far off, days into the future. Right now, in the present moment, staring into the eyes of my brothers and sister, pain and rejection in all of our eyes.
What have I done?
I pace around in the Justice Building room, usually only meant to hold one tribute, there’s now a small handful of us in the room. What little time we have with the loved ones who choose to come and visit us is now shared with the 5 or 6 other volunteers. You get no privacy, no time for yourself, closure. Yet I am sort of glad that I am not going through with this alone, or with only one other person. Granted two of our District’s volunteers are siblings, at least we have a chance to bond together before we head into our final days, knowing that we may not die alone. I couldn’t imagine what Scout and Mordecai were feeling, sitting in this room, alone. For the past couples of days I have started to form a cough, which starts to act up as I sit here. Granted both of them were Reaped, chosen against their will. I called out for this. I reached out for the struggle and the pain of knowing literally nothing. I rack my brain trying to think of anything to connect me to them, something to give me even a little bit of hope. Yet I have nothing. These people that I went to class with and talked with and I have nothing beyond that. I wanted this, who only knows why I wanted this but I did. And I sit here waiting. Wait am i waiting for though? Am I waiting for my parents to come congratulate me? Am I waiting for my siblings to come berate me? Or am I waiting for neither, as I sit here with a few other tributes.
What have I done?
I sit here with throat starting to scratch, my chest starting to congest, and my mind starting to panic. Why did I sign up for this, what will happen when I find myself on the ground of some harsh environment, bleeding out with my last breathes? Will Phoenix see me with contempt? Will Spell and Charm sit there with disdain in their heart? How will they see me now, leaving again after I just came back? With regret forming deep inside of me I sit here waiting for the unknown, I am scared. Scared of what will happen, scared of everything that the Capitol will throw at the scores of us, but mostly scared of myself. Scared about the fact that I would willingly throw myself into this situation, where nothing is clear. Hell I don’t even know how many tributes would be in the Arena, there’s already what 6, 7 of us just from District 4 alone! There could be just as many from every other District, or it could be just us. Just District 4, fighting each other for what exactly? Why are all of these other people even here, Why am I even here?
What have I done?
I still remember the Escort and his sickening grin when he saw us all volunteer. He looked at us like we were his prized sheep that he is sending for the district fair. Yet we are all sheep for slaughter. We walked up and willingly put our lives up for the amusement of the capitol and the detriment of of our families. We willingly followed the Capitol’s call and beckoning, reaching out for the chance at the unknown glory. Yet that is far off, days into the future. Right now, in the present moment, staring into the eyes of my brothers and sister, pain and rejection in all of our eyes.
What have I done?
