Don't Let Your Past Consume You {Ems}

Winter was a favorite time of the year. Watching the snow fall from the sky, watch buildings turn white, the sidewalks and roads turn angelic. Kids having snowball fights instead of doing homework. Jane loved it, but it never felt the same. After losing Jim so many years ago, everything changed. It went from being the perfect time of year to the time of year she never wanted to witness again. Every second turned into a nightmarish reality. But soon the young girl learned to let go of it all. Sometimes she forced a smile just to get other kids to leave her alone. The questions became unbearable, and yet the tiny fourteen year old learned how to carry herself. It was about the eyes. Faking it was hard, but when a smile twirled across her face, the happiness glistened inside her eyes so it matched the - "I'm doing well." Sometimes that never felt like enough, but with this winter weather, Jane would give herself a chance to play, a chance to feel like a normal kid again.

What was it like being normal though?

Grabbing a ragged jacket from the rack, and placing four pairs of socks on her frail feet before slipping them into holey shoes, Jane ventured into the snow. It offered happiness and hope the way the sun reflected from the white snow, the way it blocked her view for only a moment, however, it wouldn't be long until the sun crawled across the back side of the horizon for the night. All of it gave the chance for a new life, a chance to forget about the past as the world kept moving on without her. But most importantly, it allowed the tiny girl to realize that it was okay to have fun.

Walking on the ice was hard, and sometimes she took a fall, but she got back up and tried it all again. Giving up would only end in failure, and her brother taught her that life was worth more than surrendering to the unknown. Failure only existed to those who gave up completely. Jim lived a life Jane wanted to follow every step of the way. Even when the going became tough, she watched her brother thrive. She watched him fight. She watched him give everything until he had no more to give. It wasn't easy, yet she wanted to have the drive like him. To keep going. To smile through the pain. To carry a burden that nobody deserved.

All was well, and she knew it was nearly time to end the fun. Making a snowangle would let her breathe life from the eyes of her brother, but the ground was far too solid. The sleet ruined it, the ice made it worse, and now Jane didn't know what to do. A heavy sigh left her chest as she gathered herself up and prepared for the journey home. But a voice caught her attention, someone asking for help.

Turning every direction frantic eyes landed on the person in need. A young girl looked like she had slipped and fell. Ice was hard to walk on, and yet Jane knew how dangerous it truly was. Sometimes she fell, but learning the duck waddle made things important.

"Yeah! I'm coming!"

Inch by inch she made her way over to the girl trying to keep herself standing. Dark eyes locked on the ground serving as a constant reminder of being slow and steady. The race wasn't over, and perhaps Jane wasn't meant to win, but as long as she got to safety, then maybe it would turn out for the best. Every breath crystallized before her eyes, and her teeth were chattering, and she knew home was where she needed to be, but she wouldn't turn her back on someone in need. She stopped when she was near the girl wondering how she could possibly help her up without falling herself.

She scratched her head, fingers running through her long hair -

"I'm Jane." Her voice was soft, and she nodded her head before lowering down a hand and hoping for the best.