Far Away [Tobias one-shot]

Looking through the kitchen in Kirito's house isn't the same anymore. I've got some plants like Iain showed me, and I want to make his favorite meal just so that I can have him close to me, but it won't be enough. My eyes land on the mixer, and I remember the mess we made. It was fun, and it brought us closer together. So much had changed since Kirito went into the games, and it's changed more now. It's still changing. I still try to call his name to wake him up. I still wait for him to return home from gathering plants only to realize it'll never happen. Hard to believe it's been three years since the Capitol stole my brother away from me. Three years since I've heard his voice, since I've talked to him, since we've cooked a dinner together, since I've seen him. Three excruciating years, and it still feels like it was only yesterday. But today would've been his birthday, and I want to make him a present even if I have to eat it alone. A single tear runs down the side of my face as I take the plants and mash them into the bowl. I grab a cup of water and mix them in. I start chopping up some other plants that are more edible when diced. All of it's working so well. My baby brother taught me to cook, and I want to do something special for him. Something to remember him on this special day. Throwing it all into the bowl, I try to remember what to do next. Grabbing some spices and making it taste a bit better, at least I hope it does. My eyes turn towards the mixer, and I want to grab it and use it, but I don't remember how. I just remember the soup flying everywhere after we turned it on before. I haven't touched it since.

I grab some of the cherries and throw them in a mediocre pie crust. Iain loved cherry pie, and to honor him on his birthday, I'm going to make him one. I've never been the best cook, but I know I have to try. I want this to be special. I know he's not here, but I have to do this for him on his special day. Three years has been far too long, and yet I'm stuck looking around like nothing matters. Three years of crying until I can't cry anymore. I have to pull myself together. He wouldn't want me living like this, and I know he wouldn't because he'd want me to be happy. He was such an inspiration on my life. Always trying and never giving up despite his bad leg working against him. One day I'll join him with the angels in the sky if angels even exist. I thought they did, but now I don't because why would they steal my baby brother away? Throwing the mixer to the side, I grab a fork instead. It's easier, and it doesn't make as big of mess. I whisk the pie ingredients together, then I whisk the soup together before putting it on the stove to simmer. To think that I wouldn't have been able to do this before. Normally I just eat what I can find. Many nights my stomach growls, and I wish it would go away. Kirito has the money, but I can't ask him to save what's been lost. I thought he'd bring my brother home, but nobody cared for him. Everyone wanted him dead, and Iain fought so hard and so strong, but it wasn't good enough. It's never good enough. The Capitol stole him away and they slaughtered him as a punishment. My family didn't deserve it. Nobody's does.

While the food is cooking, I grab my jacket from the hanger. The weather isn't as warm as is it normally is, but that doesn't matter. Pictures have been turned over, dust covering them, and I can't bring myself to look at them. Part of me wonders why Kirito got the chance to live, but my brother didn't. What did Iain do to deserve the death sentence? He was just a boy, a child trying to survive like everyone else in the arena. Kirito lived. He got to come home and see the world again, but all my brother remembers is the games. That's the last thing he knows, and I struggle with it. I wanted Iain to be like him. I wanted my brother to live. He always viewed the world differently, and my happiness has been taken away. Slaughtered in the blink of an eye. But I wipe the tears away. It's not supposed to be a sad day, it's supposed to be happy because it's Iain's special day. Grabbing the food I head out of the house making my way to Iain. I watch the steam leave the pot, and I hope it's warm enough when I get there. I hope that it's still good enough to eat because I can't afford to run back home and make anymore. A river of tears pour from my eyes, and I don't know what to do to get it to stop. Nothing makes since, and it hurts. He always had a special request, and I find the tree that belongs to him. I place my jacket on the ground, I place the food on top of it before sitting down beside it all. "I made your favorite meal for your birthday. I miss you, but I won't be sad today. It's your special day, and I want to say happy birthday." The words leave my lips, and my heart breaks in half. He's a special part of me, and now he's gone. I wipe the tears away before starting to eat. The food tastes better than I thought it would, and as I break into the cherry pie, I can't control myself anymore. He wanted to come home for one. I promised him I'd make him one. That it would be waiting, and he didn't make it back. I try to hold back the tears, but I can't, and as I speak my voice cracks. "I need you, brother. I need you. I wish you were here."